I took the test.
Here are my results:
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Take the test: How evil are you?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Police Comments
Police Comments taken off actual police car videos around the country:
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16. You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.
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15. Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.
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14. If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
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13. If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.
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12. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.
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11. You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?
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10. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?
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9. Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.
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8. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
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7. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.
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6. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
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5. In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
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4. How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?
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3. No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
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2. I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
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AND THE WINNER IS….
1. You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.
Thanks god
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16. You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.
.
15. Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.
.
14. If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
.
13. If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.
.
12. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.
.
11. You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?
.
10. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?
.
9. Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.
.
8. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
.
7. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.
.
6. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
.
5. In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
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4. How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?
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3. No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
.
2. I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
.
AND THE WINNER IS….
1. You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.
Thanks god
Sites of Interest
Meal at Burger King cost a couple a whopping $2,243.00 - News Video
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Restaurant Put The F Word On Bill
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Rottweiler Vs. Kitty - Video
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Amazing aerial views of a town that's a little too well organized - Photos
.
Hairless monkey gives me the creeps - Photos
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The most incredible motorcycle accident I've ever seen NSFW PHOTOS
.
A train bully is no longer a threat- Video
.
Ooops! – Picture
Rick Astley stops a baby crying - Video
Here's a goat heading a ball - Video
Top 10 Poop Movie Scenes
Rules and Laws in Sex
Japanese Inventions
50 Universal Truths About Men
.
Sex is this art or not? - Pictures
.
'Smiling' baby ray a hit with tourists
A baby ray that appears to be smiling has brought visitors flocking to a Hampshire aquarium. - Picture
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Female G spot 'can be detected'
Some doubt the existence of a G spot at all
The mysterious G spot - supposedly a route to female sexual satisfaction - can be located with ultrasound, claim Italian scientists.
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Freakishly Large Sea Creatures Found Near Antarctica.
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Pet dog rides a ski-lift.
A pet dog is turning heads on the snow-covered slopes - by using a ski-lift. Guinness, a four-year-old collie, leaps into the air and grabs hold of the lift with his teeth at the Glenshee Ski Center, then hitches a ride. He then decides when to jump off, before running and skidding downhill. Video Here
.
Restaurant Put The F Word On Bill
.
Rottweiler Vs. Kitty - Video
.
Amazing aerial views of a town that's a little too well organized - Photos
.
Hairless monkey gives me the creeps - Photos
.
The most incredible motorcycle accident I've ever seen NSFW PHOTOS
.
A train bully is no longer a threat- Video
.
Ooops! – Picture
Rick Astley stops a baby crying - Video
Here's a goat heading a ball - Video
Top 10 Poop Movie Scenes
Rules and Laws in Sex
Japanese Inventions
50 Universal Truths About Men
.
Sex is this art or not? - Pictures
.
'Smiling' baby ray a hit with tourists
A baby ray that appears to be smiling has brought visitors flocking to a Hampshire aquarium. - Picture
.
Female G spot 'can be detected'
Some doubt the existence of a G spot at all
The mysterious G spot - supposedly a route to female sexual satisfaction - can be located with ultrasound, claim Italian scientists.
.
Freakishly Large Sea Creatures Found Near Antarctica.
.
Pet dog rides a ski-lift.
A pet dog is turning heads on the snow-covered slopes - by using a ski-lift. Guinness, a four-year-old collie, leaps into the air and grabs hold of the lift with his teeth at the Glenshee Ski Center, then hitches a ride. He then decides when to jump off, before running and skidding downhill. Video Here
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
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Sincerely,
P. Niss
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The Response:
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
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Sincerely,
V. Gina
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
.
.
The Response:
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
Small Bits of News
Caught on Tape: Cop's Beating of Female Inmate Sends Her to Hospital.
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Family Finds Missing Woman In Their Minivan.
POMONA, Calif. — A woman reported missing for several days was found stabbed to death in a minivan by family members who were called by police to pick up the vehicle because it was illegally parked near a California Courthouse, according to reports.
..
Girl, 12, Says Dad Mutilate Mom, Was Forced to Help Dump Body.
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British Schoolboy, 12, Falls to Death During Class Trip.
VIENNA, Austria — A 12-year-old British boy on a school trip has died and his friend was hurt after they plunged down a ravine on a darkened Alpine mountain.
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4 Dead in Minnesota School Bus Crash.
COTTONWOOD, Minn. — A school bus and several other vehicles crashed in southwestern Minnesota Tuesday, killing four students and forcing the first-arriving motorists to rush some of the injured to nearby hospitals.
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Stanford drops tuition for some students
Palo Alto -- In a radical change to its financial aid program, Stanford University will announce today that it will no longer charge tuition to students whose families earn less than $100,000 a year. In addition, the university will waive room and board fees for students whose families earn less than $60,000 a year.
.
Family Finds Missing Woman In Their Minivan.
POMONA, Calif. — A woman reported missing for several days was found stabbed to death in a minivan by family members who were called by police to pick up the vehicle because it was illegally parked near a California Courthouse, according to reports.
..
Girl, 12, Says Dad Mutilate Mom, Was Forced to Help Dump Body.
.
British Schoolboy, 12, Falls to Death During Class Trip.
VIENNA, Austria — A 12-year-old British boy on a school trip has died and his friend was hurt after they plunged down a ravine on a darkened Alpine mountain.
.
4 Dead in Minnesota School Bus Crash.
COTTONWOOD, Minn. — A school bus and several other vehicles crashed in southwestern Minnesota Tuesday, killing four students and forcing the first-arriving motorists to rush some of the injured to nearby hospitals.
.
Stanford drops tuition for some students
Palo Alto -- In a radical change to its financial aid program, Stanford University will announce today that it will no longer charge tuition to students whose families earn less than $100,000 a year. In addition, the university will waive room and board fees for students whose families earn less than $60,000 a year.
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