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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
THE MOST VENOMOUS SNAKE IN THE WORLD
NAME:Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake).
LOCATION:
Throughout the world.
DESCRIPTION:
Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.
SYMPTOMS:
This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, resulting in an incurable disease and consequent death.
HABITAT:
Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE:
Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED
TORNIQUE:
Do not apply a tornique as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND:
This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND:
This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
MILKING THE SNAKE:
1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.
CONCLUSION This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
Wife Complains
"Our wall clock almost killed my mother today.
It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."
It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."
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Cheese rolling race
Gloucestershire after giant runaway cheeses.
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Christopher Anderson, 19, who won the first race, was carried away on a spinal board after hurting his back as he tumbled past the finish line head over heels.
Small Bits of News
Heartbroken Taiwan man climbs into morgue freezer
A Taiwan man grieving over the death of his girlfriend climbed inside a morgue freezer to be with her and was only pulled out alive half an hour later.
Japan man stalks toll-free line to hear woman's voice
A Japanese man was arrested for calling a food company's toll-free number 500 times in 16 months because he wanted to hear the woman's voice on the automated tape, police said on Monday.
The 38-year-old plumber, who was arrested on Sunday, made 3,100 hours worth of free calls to the company, costing it almost 4 million yen (19,500 pounds) in phone bills, a police spokesman in Takasaki, northwest of Tokyo, said.
"He gets excited by the woman's voice on the guidance tape," the spokesman said, adding that the voice sounded normal to the detective who was involved in the investigation.
The food company asked for its name to be withheld. The spokesman said police are investigating if the man placed an excessive number of calls to any other firms.
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