Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sperm Bank


Screaming Like a Little Girl


Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know You Needed

Elementary Teacher Arrested for Naked Stroll in School
A teacher who stripped off his clothes and walked naked around a Georgia elementary school gave cops a New Age explanation for his behavior, claiming that he had achieved a “new level of enlightenment” and “wanted everybody to be free now that his third eye was open," according to a police report.
For allowing others to see his third eye last Friday afternoon at the B.C. Haynie Elementary School, Harlan Porter was charged with public indecency. The 31-year-old educator, pictured in the mug shot, was booked into the Clayton County Jail on the misdemeanor charge and released after posting $2000 bond.
Since Porter’s April 22 stroll was not witnessed by any students, who had been dismissed, he avoided more serious charges.
Porter acknowledging that his education career would be damaged by the bust,
Porter said that he still desired to teach, except “on a new level, with hands in the earth, gathering the essence and learning how to love one another and fully appreciate the spiritual realm.”
Porter “had recently learned that his employment contract would not be renewed.” Porter had previously been “diagnosed schizophrenic,” though the school’s principal told cops the educator had never exhibited “strange behavior.”
Man drives under semi
A driver says he witnessed a man drive his Mazda MX-5 sports car beneath an 18-wheel tractor-trailer while traveling about 40 mph on a busy road in Florida.
Ben Ellis told the newspaper the man then calmly pulled back out into traffic, his arm resting on the door, and drove away.
"I couldn't believe it," Ellis said of the incident. "He risked the lives of everyone on the road. Stupidity knows no bounds."
Naked man shows the neighbors he has nothing to hide
An accused nude man was contacted by Martin County Sheriff's deputies after a report he was laying “butt naked” sans clothes and totally au natural on his patio.
"I have been out to this residence on multiple occasions for the same accusation," a deputy wrote in a recently-released report.
Deputies found William Byrne, 58, lying butt naked face down on a chaise lounge.
The neighbor making the complaint, a 56-year-old man, apparently was part of a family gathering with attendees ranging from infants to 80-year-old women.
The man and his family said Byrne was spotted "walking around completely naked" before deputies arrived.
The 56-year-old man's niece, who was visiting her grandmother from Virginia, reported seeing Byrne's "butt," but not his genitals. The niece is 14. Also the 56-year-old man's mother owns the home. She has said Byrne "walks around naked all the time," bathing in the buff in an outdoor shower.
The deputy noted it was about the fourth time he'd been there, and that each time Byrne was told he couldn't be lying around naked in his back yard where others could see him.
"On those prior occasions Mr. Byrne was wearing a small G-string bathing suit on our arrival so I advised the (neighbors) that there was nothing I could do except explain to him the laws in Florida," the report states.
Byrne was issued a notice to appear on an exposure of sexual organs charge.  
DWI man sentenced to wear bracelet bearing victim's name
August 2009 morning nearly two years ago, Christopher Elton Campbell got drunk and crashed his car into another, killing a 24-year-old woman.
Campbell did not know Renee Danielle Horton, but her name is not something he will soon forget.
Campbell, 22, was sentenced to 10 years' probation for intoxication manslaughter.
As a condition of his probation, he must wear a bracelet with Horton's name on it; reimburse her mother $22,271.46 in funeral expenses; and spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, and the dates of Horton's birth and death in the Tarrant County Jail.
"Every time you think about whining or complaining because you have to spend a holiday in jail, remember I never get to spend any days with my daughter, on holidays or her birthday," Debbie Horton told Campbell after the plea bargain agreement was reached.
Judge orders man to 'leave home and get a job'
A 25-year-old Spanish man has been told by a judge to leave home and get a job after he took his parents to court when they cut his pocket money. The man from Andalusia in the south of Spain had taken his parents to court demanding a monthly allowance of 400 euros (£355) $592.85 after they refused to give him anymore money unless he tried to find a job.
Instead the judge at family court number five in Malaga, ruled against the man, who has a degree in law, and told him he must leave his parents' house within 30 days and learn to stand on his own two feet. The ruling will send shock waves across Spain where it is not unusual for offspring to remain living with their parents until well into their thirties.
One in five of those under the age of 30 are still looking for their first job, and almost half are on short-term contracts of less than six months. The judge ruled that in this case the man had "sufficient ability to work" and could not expect his parents to support him, although they had taken over the monthly repayments on his car. He did, however, order them to pay their son 200 euros a month for the next two years "to help with his emancipation".

Clumsy thief trips over his jeans

Polk County Sheriff's detectives are looking for a beer shoplifter. It happened at the E-Z Food Store located at 15 Acuff Road in Lake Wales. The suspect, seen on video surveillance, got out of the front passenger side of a black Chevy Lumina with dark tinted windows and no tag, and walked into the store. 
Investigators describe the suspect as a white male in his mid-20s, wearing blue jeans, a green T-shirt, a dark colored ballcap with a white logo on it, and black sneakers.
Moments later the suspect then ran out of the store with two cases of Bud Light beer. The robber tripped and fell, dropping the beer in the parking lot, then jumped into the backseat of the waiting vehicle and fled the scene.

Man expresses his anger