Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rotting drugs in Australian

One police officer is in a coma and another has lost almost 30 per cent of his lung capacity after being exposed to fumes from rotting drugs inside a police storage unit.
The NSW Police Force is now facing serious claims it failed to offer basic protection to the officers who had the task of handling degraded drug exhibits up to 13 years old.
Sergeant Nader "Ralph" Hanna, 46, and Detective Senior Constable Andrew McGrath, 38, were both exposed to the strong fumes when moving a bag containing the ecstasy precursor safrole in the state's biggest crime evidence locker.
The officers were among three directed in February to carry out a "drug audit" on items in evidence storage still required for court proceedings.
They claimed the "drug room" had a constant strong chemical smell and they did not have protective gear or training in handling chemicals.

Vermont Man Charged With Digging Up Dad

Police Say Man Brought Remains Home
A Vershire man has been accused of digging up his father's remains and bringing them home with him because he missed his late father.
Dominik A. Bailey Jr., 43, has been charged with felony removal of human remains after allegedly digging up the cremated man's remains from a Vershire graveyard.
Thetford police said they received a call from Bailey's mother on Friday telling authorities that she believed her son had gone and dug up her husband's cremated remains, taking the remains and the headstone home with him. The mother said she was going to check the grave site and later told police all she saw at the site was a hole in the ground.
Police searched Bailey's home and recovered the remains and headstone of his late father. Bailey was not home at the time, but was pulled over by police in Thetford and taken into custody. He is being held at the Orange County Sheriff's Office and is scheduled to appear in court Monday.
The charge of felony removal of human remains carries a sentence of up to 15 years in prison and a fine of not more than $10,000.

A sticky end: painful revenge on cheating husband with superglue

Three women exacted a painful revenge on a cheating husband they discovered had been sleeping with them all at the same time - by superglueing his private parts.
The angry women lured married father Donessa Davis to a motel where they decided to humiliate him.
The ambush was set up by the man's wife after she discovered he had been cheating on her with as many as five women.
Police in Wisconsin are now searching for the scorned wife after she disappeared from the family home after the assault.
Mr Davis is recovering after needing hospital treatment for his embarrassing injury when his manhood was glued to his stomach.
The attack took place after Therese Ziemann, 47, lured the husband to a motel in Chilton, Wisconsin, with the promise of a massage.
The husband voluntarily allowed himself to be tied to the bed and blindfolded.
As he lay prone on the bed, Ziemann opened the motel room door and two other women, Wendy Sewell, 44, and Michelle Belliveau, 43, burst in.
All three had been contacted by the Mr Davis' wife Tracy Hood-Davis. She had discovered her husband's affairs and had plotted with them to exact their revenge.

Man getting tattoos of every national flag on his body

Guinness Rishi is hoping to become the first person to get tattoos of every national flag on the planet over his entire body.
Guiness Rishi, 67, who wants to enter the Guinness Book of World Records by tatooing the flags of all the countries in the world on his body
Mr Rishi, 67, is planning to cover himself in 220 different banners in his quest to become a walking global flag-pole.
Already sporting six tattoos, Canada, Union Jack, India, USA, Cyprus and the Indian Congress Party, on his face, Guinness, who changed his name in honor of the famous record book, believes that he will complete his challenge in three years.
He plans to cover his head and face with the most important one-inch flags before inking from his neck down in alphabetical order.

Extreme Poison Ivy Nightmare

The nice person was trimming her friends hedges, which were full of poison ivy.
By cutting the ivy, she was releasing the plant oil; then she was scraping her bare arms along the top of the hedge, which made little scratch in her arms, allowing the oil faster access.

Car Tow Fee Paid with 8,800 Pennies

A drunk who got his car towed decides to antagonize the towing company by paying their fee with 8,800 pennies.
8,800 PENNIES!!!
Showing all the pennies they got out of the bank on purpose to pay the impound fee.

24-year-old woman ditches 85-year-old billionaire husband

When a blonde in her 20s marries an 85-year-old billionaire most people would think her life wouldn’t be more demanding than fetching him the odd glass of hot milk. But then Joe Hardy is hardly your average octogenarian. And now fed-up wife Kristin, 22, and Joe have divorced after just three months together… because of his insatiable demands for round-the-clock sex.
"He wanted sex almost all the time, but I’m just not that sort of girl," says Kristin of her Viagra-loving husband."
And Joe used to get very frustrated as I had to keep saying no to him. I just could not believe what he wanted me to do. He’d lean over while we were watching TV and grope me. That’s not how married couples behave.
"But then Joe had always been clear about exactly what he expected from his third wife… and even drew up a list. He required her to let him have a "feel of t*t" whenever he wanted, French-kiss him constantly and parade around the house in sexy underwear.
"I knew people were calling me a gold-digger, but it wasn’t like that," she says. "Joe might have been in his 80s but he had the energy of someone 40 years younger. What started out as a friendship and some fun developed into something more deep. But although I was more than 60 years younger than him, truth be told I found it hard to keep up." She moans: "But it wasn’t romantic. He just handed me the ring and said ‘here y’are’.
"Kristin, who signed a pre-nuptial agreement, is adamant that she was in love with Hardy, now 85, not his money. "I loved Joe," says Kristin, now 24. "I did not marry him for his money. People were calling me a gold-digger but that could not be further from the truth. I married for love and it is as simple as that.
’The final straw came when Joe allegedly demanded that she let a nanny look after her son, full-time. Kristin immediately moved back in with her mom. But the next day her husband sent her a sexual contract, listing what she would have to do if she came back. "Joe said I never allowed him a ‘feel of a t*t’, our sex life was ‘non-existent’ and that would all have to change. But the breaking point was him demanding again that a nanny look after Matthew so I could spend more time with him. My son meant more to be than anything. You could keep all the designer handbags, shoes and dresses. I just wasn’t interested and refused to go back."

A woman has given new meaning to a class-action lawsuit.

Grad Sues College for $70,000 Because She Can't Find a Job
Trina Thompson gave it the old college try, but couldn't find work. Now she thinks her sheepskin wasn't worth her time, and is suing her alma mater for her money back.
The Monroe College grad wants the $70,000 she spent on tuition because she hasn't found gainful employment since earning her bachelor's degree in April, according to a suit filed in Bronx Supreme Court on July 24.
The 27-year-old alleges the business-oriented Bronx school hasn't lived up to its end of the bargain, and has not done enough to find her a job.
The information-technology student blames Monroe's Office of Career Advancement for not providing her with the leads and career advice it promised.
"They have not tried hard enough to help me," the frustrated Bronx resident wrote about the school in her lawsuit.

Dumb but is it Funny

Down and Out
The other day in Iowa, a woman burst into tears while she was robbing a Hardee’s and told the cashier, "If I weren’t down and out, I wouldn’t be doing this."
Then the cashier told her, "That’s what all our customers say."
The Deal
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, " Marion …Marion " "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed." "That’s wonderful! What’s it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course .. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you’d be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!" "Not exactly … I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ."
Damn It
I was in a bar yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to break wind.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.