Thursday, May 29, 2008

Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know.
It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that isfavoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first ?

Because they want to.
Thanks Richard


The real Spider-Man

Steve Kutcher has a passion for multi-legged creatures!
He’s a world famous entomologist, which means he studies spider and insect behavior.

Scrap man's 'brass' cup revealed as £500,000 gold goblet

A metal cup acquired by a man from Somerset has been revealed to be a pure gold goblet from the 3rd or 4th Century BC, worth up to £500,000. The analysis confirmed its age and that it had been painstakingly crafted from one piece of gold.

'Dangerous' backflip dancers criticized

Suited performers who were filmed doing backflips against the front of London buses have been criticized by transport authorities. The men, who also did handstands on top of bus stops and used scaffolding as monkey bars, are so-called "free runners" – urban gymnasts who use city architecture as their equipment.

Dirty Plate


The President of The United States of America Chest Bumping

U.S. Air Force Academy graduate Theodore Shiveley of Plano, Texas, after he received his diploma at the AFA graduation ceremony in Colorado Springs

Maybe he needs a driver not a license

A man who had just been pulled over by police ran backwards over a Buffalo Grove squad car Friday morning, apparently in haste to drive off.
Henry Raskin, 70, of Niles had been pulled over by a Buffalo Grove officer on the 400 block of Dundee Road around 11:30 a.m. Friday for driving 58 mph in a 35 mph zone, Sgt. Scott Kristiansen said.
The officer wrote the ticket and returned to the car, and Raskin got ready to drive away. Except he went flying backward.
"(He) apparently was going to pull away at a high rate of speed, but the only problem was that he was in reverse," Kristiansen said.
He said Raskin was not happy about getting a ticket. He said police are reviewing the squad car videotape to see what Raskin might also be charged with.

Small Bits of News

Deadly snake bites man's penis
A roadside toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist in Australia when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.
Nude maid accused of really cleaning up
A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.
Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.
Police are investigating.
Man accused of stealing bracelet and swallowing it
A 25-year-old man bit off more than he could chew when he allegedly stole a gold bracelet from an 8-year-old girl and then swallowed the evidence, police in northern Mexico said Tuesday.
Jose Rigoberto Cruz Salas was being administered laxatives to recover the evidence at a jail in a suburb of the northern city of Monterrey.
Police ordered an x-ray of his stomach, which revealed the stolen jewelry.
He faces robbery charges, punishable by a fine or a jail term of six months to 15 years - depending on the bracelet's value. Its worth could not be immediately determined.
Yearbook Arrives With Altered Photos
School officials say they are appalled by altered photos — including heads on different bodies — in hundreds of McKinney High School yearbooks delivered this week.
The McKinney High School yearbook staff in Texas spent the school year working on its yearbook, only to receive dozens of complaints from students that their photos had been altered by Lifetouch National School Studios Inc., a photography company. Some heads were even on the wrong bodies.
Cops and Robbers
Being a burglar is at best a risky job but two Melbourne men arrested last week were shocked to find police inside a house they had just broken into.
The detectives were in the middle of a drug raid and were just as surprised when they greeted the thieves, during the attempted midnight burglary at the house in Melton, 45km west of Melbourne.
Armed with search warrants, the officers had swooped on the property that was allegedly being used for illegally growing hydroponic cannabis, and arrested a man in his 20s living there.
After the burglars broke in through a window and saw the police, they ran off but were caught and arrested two days later.
Taking a heavy toll
Tollway aggressively chases accused scofflaws, regardless of cracks in enforcement system
Hunkered in her idling SUV outside the tollway's headquarters, Leslie Boudreau frantically sifts through papers that say she owes $4,619 for blowing $179.50 in tolls over the last year.
Pay up in two weeks, the papers say, or owe the tollway $15,739 and eventually lose your driver's license. Boudreau says she didn't know her I-PASS ran out of money last year because she thought her credit card automatically refilled it.