Friday, January 25, 2008
Murphy's lesser known laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog, and 9 times out of 10, they'll have Texas plates on their car....
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog, and 9 times out of 10, they'll have Texas plates on their car....
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Worlds Largest Swimming Pool
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An aerial view of the swimming pool at the resort of San Alfonso del Mar in Algarrobo city on the southern coast of Chile, some 100 km (62 miles) west of Santiago, January 21, 2008. Acknowledged by the Guinness World Records as the world’s largest swimming pool, the lagoon measures 1,013 metres (3,323 ft) in length, covers an area of eight hectares (20 acres), contains 250,000 cubic meters of water and is navigable in small boats.
An aerial view of the swimming pool at the resort of San Alfonso del Mar in Algarrobo city on the southern coast of Chile, some 100 km (62 miles) west of Santiago, January 21, 2008. Acknowledged by the Guinness World Records as the world’s largest swimming pool, the lagoon measures 1,013 metres (3,323 ft) in length, covers an area of eight hectares (20 acres), contains 250,000 cubic meters of water and is navigable in small boats.
You wasn't looking
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old daughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their daughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her father.
"Well," the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mommy?" "Oh yes, Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy shit head!"
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their daughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her father.
"Well," the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mommy?" "Oh yes, Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy shit head!"
Politics-Count Down 360 Days Till The End
Whacked by the mortgage and credit crisis, Choking on the high cost of college, Squeezed at the pump. Sinking under rising medical costs, At the mercy of unregulated, irresponsible global corporations. That's the state of our union.
Next Monday, we'll suffer through President Bush's seventh - and mercifully, last - State of the Union address. If it is like the last six, it will have no resemblance to reality.
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HOWEVER,
When Senator Clinton was asked about it she said that's
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Living Large in Miami, LA, and where ever else
Everybody knows that Shaquille O'Neal is paid $20 million a year by the Miami Heat. But where does all that money go? Thanks to his pending divorce, Shaq's monthly budget is now on the public record -- "Extra" has dug up the financial affidavit of the divorce papers.
Try to wrap your head around these numbers -- on a monthly basis, Shaq spends:
· $24,300 at the gas station filling up
· $17,220 on clothes
· $6,730 on laundry and dry cleaning
· $2,305 on pet care
· $1,620 on music and magazines
· $1,495 on cable television.
You want to know the favorite?
The $114,946 that's listed as "miscellaneous (personal)" -- you know, walking around money, pocket change so you're never left without something to feed the meter or, I don't know, buy a new car or two without writing a check. (And just think how much money he'll spend now that he has all this free time over the next couple of weeks!)
But when you're living this large, it's not all fun -- the guy also pays $75,261 in property tax alone, which I guess is what you'd expect from a 20,000 square foot mansion on the water.
Try to wrap your head around these numbers -- on a monthly basis, Shaq spends:
· $24,300 at the gas station filling up
· $17,220 on clothes
· $6,730 on laundry and dry cleaning
· $2,305 on pet care
· $1,620 on music and magazines
· $1,495 on cable television.
You want to know the favorite?
The $114,946 that's listed as "miscellaneous (personal)" -- you know, walking around money, pocket change so you're never left without something to feed the meter or, I don't know, buy a new car or two without writing a check. (And just think how much money he'll spend now that he has all this free time over the next couple of weeks!)
But when you're living this large, it's not all fun -- the guy also pays $75,261 in property tax alone, which I guess is what you'd expect from a 20,000 square foot mansion on the water.
Couple Protests Jet Noise With Rooftop Sign
The message, printed in 7-foot-tall letters on the roof of their Ridley Township home, begins with a popular profanity beginning with the letter "F," continues with the letter "U" to stand for "you" and ends with "F.A.A.," the initials of the Federal Aviation Administration, which the couple says hasn't heard their concerns due to a full mailbox for the noise complaint hot line.
I have to sleep with earplugs at night in my own house," Hall said. The reportedly profane message is accompanied by the words "No Fly Zone" and a plane with a line through it."I wanted to have little things that were shooting the plane down, but my girlfriend thought I would get arrested, so I settled for the picture that's up there," Hall said.
I have to sleep with earplugs at night in my own house," Hall said. The reportedly profane message is accompanied by the words "No Fly Zone" and a plane with a line through it."I wanted to have little things that were shooting the plane down, but my girlfriend thought I would get arrested, so I settled for the picture that's up there," Hall said.
Small Bits of News
2,240 police, 460 patrol cars and a helicopter mobilized for car chase in Osaka
Japanese police yesterday arrested a wanted man after a two-hour car chase that involved 2,240 officers, 460 police cars and one helicopter. Hirofumi Fukuda, 27, who had been wanted for assaulting police officers on Jan 21, was arrested after a chase through central Osaka. Around 11 a.m., police received an emergency call saying that a car was driving recklessly, ignoring traffic lights. When a patrol car approached the vehicle in question, it took off. Police were mobilized throughout the area and a helicopter called in. The chase ended when Fukuda's car crashed into a bridge column. He sustained light injuries but no one else was injured in the chase.
Parishioner's death doesn't stop Mass
Not even the death of a worshipper was enough to stop Mass in a small church in the northern Italian town of Trento.Pio Lieta, 86, suffered a fatal heart attack during an early-morning service at the Church of the White Madonna last Sunday. An ambulance was called, and Mr Lieta, whose name means "pious" in Italian, was pronounced dead at the scene. However, instead of halting the Mass, Father Mario Peron asked for the body to be covered with a white cloth and left Mr Lieta in the nave of the church while he finished the service. It is against Italian law to move a body without the authorisation of a local magistrate. "What could I have done?" said Fr Peron afterwards. "The Holy Mass has to be celebrated. It is not right to make an exception for one individual. Only people who do not understand the point of Mass would not understand the logic of my decision. We could not stop. We were united together in church and we prayed for him."
Australian landlord sues over dead man's broken lease
A landlord has been labeled heartless after he took a woman to court to get $600 from her father who broke the lease - by dying. The unrepentant landlord Anthony Lee has said he had no problems taking the case to a tribunal, saying: "A tenant has died. Is that my problem?" In a case that has sparked calls for a review of the state's tenancy laws, the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal this week upheld Mr Lee's claim for almost one month's rent, to be paid from the estate of Michael James Ward, 64. Mr Ward died from a heart attack on December 6. He had another eight months to run on his 12-month lease. The law says that when a tenant dies, the tenant's representative must give 28 days' notice that the lease will be broken to terminate the lease. If, after advertising, the landlord cannot find a new tenant during that period, the landlord can make a claim against the dead tenant's estate for lost rent. It means the law holds grieving relatives liable for a landlord's lost rent.
Bark worse than the byte
dailymail.co.uk
Scientists develop computer that can 'translate' a dog's bark
What would a dog say if it could talk? "Stranger", "fight", "walk", "alone", "ball" and "play", according to scientists who have developed a computer program to translate dog barks.
The special program analyzed more than 6,000 barks from 14 Hungarian sheepdogs in six different situations.
In a series of tests the team of scientists, from Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary led by Csaba Molnár, discovered that a computer could recognize whether a dog was in a stranger, fight, walk, alone, ball or play scenario.
Japanese police yesterday arrested a wanted man after a two-hour car chase that involved 2,240 officers, 460 police cars and one helicopter. Hirofumi Fukuda, 27, who had been wanted for assaulting police officers on Jan 21, was arrested after a chase through central Osaka. Around 11 a.m., police received an emergency call saying that a car was driving recklessly, ignoring traffic lights. When a patrol car approached the vehicle in question, it took off. Police were mobilized throughout the area and a helicopter called in. The chase ended when Fukuda's car crashed into a bridge column. He sustained light injuries but no one else was injured in the chase.
Parishioner's death doesn't stop Mass
Not even the death of a worshipper was enough to stop Mass in a small church in the northern Italian town of Trento.Pio Lieta, 86, suffered a fatal heart attack during an early-morning service at the Church of the White Madonna last Sunday. An ambulance was called, and Mr Lieta, whose name means "pious" in Italian, was pronounced dead at the scene. However, instead of halting the Mass, Father Mario Peron asked for the body to be covered with a white cloth and left Mr Lieta in the nave of the church while he finished the service. It is against Italian law to move a body without the authorisation of a local magistrate. "What could I have done?" said Fr Peron afterwards. "The Holy Mass has to be celebrated. It is not right to make an exception for one individual. Only people who do not understand the point of Mass would not understand the logic of my decision. We could not stop. We were united together in church and we prayed for him."
Australian landlord sues over dead man's broken lease
A landlord has been labeled heartless after he took a woman to court to get $600 from her father who broke the lease - by dying. The unrepentant landlord Anthony Lee has said he had no problems taking the case to a tribunal, saying: "A tenant has died. Is that my problem?" In a case that has sparked calls for a review of the state's tenancy laws, the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal this week upheld Mr Lee's claim for almost one month's rent, to be paid from the estate of Michael James Ward, 64. Mr Ward died from a heart attack on December 6. He had another eight months to run on his 12-month lease. The law says that when a tenant dies, the tenant's representative must give 28 days' notice that the lease will be broken to terminate the lease. If, after advertising, the landlord cannot find a new tenant during that period, the landlord can make a claim against the dead tenant's estate for lost rent. It means the law holds grieving relatives liable for a landlord's lost rent.
Bark worse than the byte
dailymail.co.uk
Scientists develop computer that can 'translate' a dog's bark
What would a dog say if it could talk? "Stranger", "fight", "walk", "alone", "ball" and "play", according to scientists who have developed a computer program to translate dog barks.
The special program analyzed more than 6,000 barks from 14 Hungarian sheepdogs in six different situations.
In a series of tests the team of scientists, from Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary led by Csaba Molnár, discovered that a computer could recognize whether a dog was in a stranger, fight, walk, alone, ball or play scenario.
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