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I wonder how they mount them and to what do they go to?
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Friday, March 27, 2009
Why Do Men Die First?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know.
It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is
favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ...you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.
So why do men die first ?
Because they want to.
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It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is
favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ...you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.
So why do men die first ?
Because they want to.
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I'm Confused
JJ noted the simplicity of the case, saying "It's not rocket science."
However, this comparison confused the defendant.
However, this comparison confused the defendant.
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Pizza vending machine makes its debut
"This is not just a vending machine, it's a mini-pizzeria"
A vending machine that bakes fresh pizza in minutes for a few euros has got Italian chefs in a whirl before it hits the streets in the coming weeks.The bright-red "Let's Pizza" machine uses infra-red rays and technology developed at the University of Bologna to knead flour and water into dough, spread it with tomato sauce and a choice of topping, and cook it - all in less than three minutes.
Its developer, Claudio Torghele, says the machine has proved popular in trials in two Italian regions, but gourmets say it is an affront to traditional methods of cooking the classic dish.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
$206 Ticket Paid With Urine-Soaked Coins
A Washington man tried to pay a more than $200 traffic ticket by sending a plastic bag filled with coins and urine to a county billing office, deputies said.
"That's something I can't wrap my mind around," said Sgt. Phil Anderchuk, of the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office. "The thought process of acting consciously -- consummating the act of urinating in a box full of coins that someone is going to receive."
The man didn't break any postal laws by mailing the combination of urine and change to the Multnomah County court in Portland. Postal officials said it is legal to mail urine or other bodily fluids as long as they are packaged properly in a way that doesn't leak or smell. County employees said the package was wrapped tightly until it reached the courthouse mailroom and didn't smell until it was opened.
Because of a policy of only accepting up to $20 in change, court workers returned his money -- postage due.
VIDEO
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Woman missing for 7 years found in her house under piles of junk
Officers are investigating the discovery of human remains in an Oakland home that are believed to be those of a woman reported missing by her children several years ago, the coroner's office said.
Investigators were called to a home where workmen hired to clean an abandoned home had discovered the human bones that are now believed to be that of the woman who lived there, and was considered missing for seven years, an officer from the Oakland Police Department said.
The home was reportedly filled from floor to ceiling with hoarded belongings, and preliminary reports indicate the victim may have died by being crushed or trapped by collected piles of junk, and was simply never found, police said.
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Priest is sentenced to prison for church theft
The Rev. Francis Guinan told a jury he could spend his Delray Beach church's money however he wanted, on trips to Las Vegas, expensive dinners and golf outings. He insisted it was normal to lie in church bank records, create secret slush funds and walk away from the offertory with wads of cash.
Palm Beach Circuit Judge Krista Marx had one word Wednesday for those claims: "Malarkey.""These excuses, the myriad excuses, it's malarkey," Marx said.
"You are in this situation because of your unmitigated greed and unmitigated gall."
Marx sentenced Guinan to four years in prison and ordered him to repay $99,999 to St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church. It was the maximum amount she could require him to pay.
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'I don't recall' masturbating on plane
Merengue star Elvis Crespo is being investigated after a woman said she saw him masturbating on an airplane en route from Houston to Miami.
According to a Miami-Dade County police report, the Grammy winner was doing it in view of other passengers on a flight last week.
According to media reports, the female passenger said that the blanket Crespo was using to cover himself moved, leaving his genitals exposed.
She notified a flight attendant, and the plane's captain immediately radioed Miami International Airport.
Officers interviewed the Puerto Rican singer upon his arrival but did not arrest him. No charges have been filed, but an investigation continues.
When asked by police about the incident, Crespo said: ``I don't recall doing that.''
PICTURE and More
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911 call: My roommate stealing my beer
*Alcohol may have been involved*
A Tampa woman was behind bars, accused of misusing the 911 system. Police say Evon Cavett called 911 three times to complain her roommate was stealing her beer.
The police report goes on to say, "The defendant called 911 on 3 different occasions to complain about her roommate taking her beer and to complain that she didn't call 911. While yelling, she upset her neighbor and woke up her children. She then attempted to physically resist arrest."
The police then attempted to place the defendant under arrest for misuse of the 911 system. She refused to comply with verbal commands and would not get out of the chair that she was sitting in, we stood her up and placed her in handcuffs. All the while, she attempted to physically defeat our attempt to place her under arrest by pulling away and resisting.
VIDEO
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Woman arrested after sending obscene video to friend
Sarasota County Deputies have arrested a woman who videotaped herself having sex with two dogs.
Deputies say Caroline Willette videotaped herself having sex with two dogs and watching child pornography with a friend.
The 53-year-old gave a CD with the images to an acquaintance, who turned it over to police. Willette is in Sarasota County Jail and is charged with three counts of possessing child porn.
Willette admitted to detectives that she had sex with the animals in her home and watched young girls perform sex acts on the Internet.
Slideshow
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Infant girl found starved to death in Orlando home
The infant's name is Brianna Morges-Gress, and police think her mother Lauren Gress starved her to death.
The girl died Nov. 16, and her mother told investigators the four-month-old had medical problems that made it difficult for her to eat. Authorities found that wasn't the case. The medical examiner's office concluded March 18 that her death was a homicide and she was starved to death.
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A Washington man tried to pay a more than $200 traffic ticket by sending a plastic bag filled with coins and urine to a county billing office, deputies said.
"That's something I can't wrap my mind around," said Sgt. Phil Anderchuk, of the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office. "The thought process of acting consciously -- consummating the act of urinating in a box full of coins that someone is going to receive."
The man didn't break any postal laws by mailing the combination of urine and change to the Multnomah County court in Portland. Postal officials said it is legal to mail urine or other bodily fluids as long as they are packaged properly in a way that doesn't leak or smell. County employees said the package was wrapped tightly until it reached the courthouse mailroom and didn't smell until it was opened.
Because of a policy of only accepting up to $20 in change, court workers returned his money -- postage due.
VIDEO
.
Woman missing for 7 years found in her house under piles of junk
Officers are investigating the discovery of human remains in an Oakland home that are believed to be those of a woman reported missing by her children several years ago, the coroner's office said.
Investigators were called to a home where workmen hired to clean an abandoned home had discovered the human bones that are now believed to be that of the woman who lived there, and was considered missing for seven years, an officer from the Oakland Police Department said.
The home was reportedly filled from floor to ceiling with hoarded belongings, and preliminary reports indicate the victim may have died by being crushed or trapped by collected piles of junk, and was simply never found, police said.
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"No Toilet, No Bride"
The slogan in Hindi "If you don't have a proper lavatory in your house, don't even think about marrying my daughter" - has been plastered across villages in the region as part of a drive to boost the number of pukka facilities. In a country where more households have TV sets than lavatories, it is one of the most successful efforts to combat the chronic shortage of proper plumbing.
That is probably partly because of the country's skewed sex ratio, with 8 per cent more men than women, leading to a "bride shortage". Woman generally have also become more vocal in their resentment at having to relieve themselves outside, giving brides more leverage in premarital bargaining.
In India it is estimated that more than 660 million people still defecates in the open - a big cause of a host of diseases, from diarrhoea to polio. It is women, activists say, who suffer the most. Women who must go outside have to do so before sunrise or after nightfall so they can't be seen.
.The slogan in Hindi "If you don't have a proper lavatory in your house, don't even think about marrying my daughter" - has been plastered across villages in the region as part of a drive to boost the number of pukka facilities. In a country where more households have TV sets than lavatories, it is one of the most successful efforts to combat the chronic shortage of proper plumbing.
That is probably partly because of the country's skewed sex ratio, with 8 per cent more men than women, leading to a "bride shortage". Woman generally have also become more vocal in their resentment at having to relieve themselves outside, giving brides more leverage in premarital bargaining.
In India it is estimated that more than 660 million people still defecates in the open - a big cause of a host of diseases, from diarrhoea to polio. It is women, activists say, who suffer the most. Women who must go outside have to do so before sunrise or after nightfall so they can't be seen.
Priest is sentenced to prison for church theft
The Rev. Francis Guinan told a jury he could spend his Delray Beach church's money however he wanted, on trips to Las Vegas, expensive dinners and golf outings. He insisted it was normal to lie in church bank records, create secret slush funds and walk away from the offertory with wads of cash.
Palm Beach Circuit Judge Krista Marx had one word Wednesday for those claims: "Malarkey.""These excuses, the myriad excuses, it's malarkey," Marx said.
"You are in this situation because of your unmitigated greed and unmitigated gall."
Marx sentenced Guinan to four years in prison and ordered him to repay $99,999 to St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church. It was the maximum amount she could require him to pay.
.
'I don't recall' masturbating on plane
Merengue star Elvis Crespo is being investigated after a woman said she saw him masturbating on an airplane en route from Houston to Miami.
According to a Miami-Dade County police report, the Grammy winner was doing it in view of other passengers on a flight last week.
According to media reports, the female passenger said that the blanket Crespo was using to cover himself moved, leaving his genitals exposed.
She notified a flight attendant, and the plane's captain immediately radioed Miami International Airport.
Officers interviewed the Puerto Rican singer upon his arrival but did not arrest him. No charges have been filed, but an investigation continues.
When asked by police about the incident, Crespo said: ``I don't recall doing that.''
PICTURE and More
.
911 call: My roommate stealing my beer
*Alcohol may have been involved*
A Tampa woman was behind bars, accused of misusing the 911 system. Police say Evon Cavett called 911 three times to complain her roommate was stealing her beer.
The police report goes on to say, "The defendant called 911 on 3 different occasions to complain about her roommate taking her beer and to complain that she didn't call 911. While yelling, she upset her neighbor and woke up her children. She then attempted to physically resist arrest."
The police then attempted to place the defendant under arrest for misuse of the 911 system. She refused to comply with verbal commands and would not get out of the chair that she was sitting in, we stood her up and placed her in handcuffs. All the while, she attempted to physically defeat our attempt to place her under arrest by pulling away and resisting.
VIDEO
.
Woman arrested after sending obscene video to friend
Sarasota County Deputies have arrested a woman who videotaped herself having sex with two dogs.
Deputies say Caroline Willette videotaped herself having sex with two dogs and watching child pornography with a friend.
The 53-year-old gave a CD with the images to an acquaintance, who turned it over to police. Willette is in Sarasota County Jail and is charged with three counts of possessing child porn.
Willette admitted to detectives that she had sex with the animals in her home and watched young girls perform sex acts on the Internet.
Slideshow
.
Infant girl found starved to death in Orlando home
The infant's name is Brianna Morges-Gress, and police think her mother Lauren Gress starved her to death.
The girl died Nov. 16, and her mother told investigators the four-month-old had medical problems that made it difficult for her to eat. Authorities found that wasn't the case. The medical examiner's office concluded March 18 that her death was a homicide and she was starved to death.
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