Small Bits & Pieces: Jan 29, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mysterious “Penistrator” Caught

Criminal Penistrator Haley Joel Osment was caught in the act of drawing penises on snowy cars.
Over the last couple weeks, East Village residents wrung their hands over the mysterious Penistrator, who has been furtively drawing inappropriate body parts on snowy cars.
Under further analysis, we can see that the shape of the fresh phallus under Osment’s snowy finger looks quite a bit like the one in the second photo from EV Grieve. But the third photo shows a decidedly different artistic interpretation. Could there be multiple Penistrators at work? Or maybe Osment is just exercising creativity?
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Theories and criticism of length/girth/etc are welcome in the comments.
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At least he was nice enough to compliment the guy’s car (Dick Head)

Scheme Factory said...
What? Those cars are covered with cleavage and breasts!

Well, they say we see what we want to see...

Lisa said...
That's so funny!

I thought I was the only one who likes drawing penises on snowy cars!

Lisa you naughty girl. LOL

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Scheme Factory said...
A 'grateful dead' fan or not? (steel or still yer face, ha ha)

FAILED !!!

Can you take a hint?

PUSH the damn door and if that doesn't work

Then PULL it and if that doesn't work

THEN READ THE SIGN

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Tattoo Jim said...

Ah, but then you drop it and it rolls away from... just out of reach. Shit!!!

Then you get to do the duck walk with pants around ankles to get it.

Scheme Factory said...
The definition of adulthood: I put the freekin' new t.p. roll on the roller!!

You know it’s cold when you can do this:

A 60-ton house moves across a stretch of White Bear Lake from Manitou Island to land in Minnesota on Wednesday.
Terry Semple of Semple Building Movers of St. Paul, didn't take the weather for granted. Last weekend, they pumped water onto the ice to make it thicker. Kraemer calculated that the lake level was 2 feet below normal, and said tests showed that the ice sat on about a foot of water and muck. And Denice Semple, Terry's wife, said the company hired an engineer who advised how to distribute the weight enough to keep the house from crashing through.
Randy Larson of White Bear Lake joked that it was the biggest ice house he ever saw.
VIDEO
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

'Teddy Bear' faces federal charges

The FBI filed federal charges this week against a Durham woman for allegedly threatening to kill her probation officer.
In a criminal complaint filed with the United States District Court, federal investigators say Teddy Bear Paradise told witnesses that "they would have to clean up all the blood in the parking lot."
The complaint also says that Paradise has continued to threaten the woman despite having her parole repeatedly revoked.
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Woman bites driver over non-hybrid bus
Going green was a cause she could really sink her teeth into.
The frantic passenger who bit a veteran driver's arm was upset that his bus wasn't a hybrid, he said Thursday.
"She came on the bus, and she said she waited more than an hour for a hybrid," said MTA driver Peter Williams, 42. "I said, 'I'm not in control of what bus is assigned to me.'"
When her rant was done, she grabbed his arm.
"Miss, don't touch me while I'm operating the bus," Williams warned Bolar.
At W. 79th St., Williams let passengers off and gestured to a dispatcher he called for help.
"That's when she bit me. ... I couldn't believe it."

Pregnant woman forced to expose herself
A pregnant woman was told to bare her stomach in a crowded liquor store to prove she wasn't shoplifting or police would be called.
Cr Tully said the 40-year-old woman was in a Springfield bottleshop last week buying a birthday present when the shop assistant forced her to lift her shirt and expose her baby-belly in front of other customers, after being wrongly accused of shoplifting.
The woman was told if she did not comply, police would be called.
It is believed the 1st Choice Liquor staff claimed there had been a similar incident earlier in the week where a person who was posing as a pregnant woman was actually stealing alcohol.
He said shoplifting was a matter for police not "voyeurs" working behind the counter.