Do not try this stupid stunt

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Woman wants to be the world's fattest woman

Susanne Eman aims to balloon from 330 kg = 728 pounds to a record 730kg =1610 pounds – and beyond – by gorging on 20,000 calories a day.

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The 32-year-old, who is a hit among fans of ‘super size big beautiful women’, said: ‘The bigger I get, the better I feel. I feel more confident and sexy. Why shouldn’t I push the limits and see how fat I can get and stay healthy? I’d love to find out if it’s humanly possible to reach a ton.’

The single mother of two, from Arizona, aims to hit her target weight in ten years.

She visits the supermarket once a month with sons Gabriel, 16 and Brendin, 12, and spends up to eight hours filling six trolleys.’ It’s like a full day's work,' she said.

She uses a motorized scooter, but astonishingly believes she can stay healthy.

'If I was to get sick, I've arranged for my sister to take care of my kids,' she said.

She is ‘playing Russian roulette with her life’, said GP Dr Patrick Flite.

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Planking – Using your head

More Funny videos & Funny pictures

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What a stupid idea

Workforce Central Florida has pulled its controversial "Cape-A-Bility" campaign. The campaign handed out actual capes to people looking for jobs.  A lot of people complained it was not only a waste of money, it was also demeaning.

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Workforce Central Florida Vice President Kimberly Sullivan picked her words very carefully.

Sullivan never said outright the campaign was a mistake.

What she did say time and time again, is that Workforce Central Florida never meant to offend anyone, and as soon as people started complaining, it was pulled.

The 6,000 capes cost more than $14,000 -- that was part of an overall $73,000 campaign that used both federal and non-federal funds.

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What not to use to clean your ears out

An Air India plane was grounded by anti-terror police when a passenger was found carrying matches - to clean out his ears.
The flight from New Delhi, India, to Bangkok was stranded for four hours after Rashid Rehman was found trying to carry a box of matches onto the plane.
Tightwad Rehman, 32, told police he didn't use cotton buds because he could get matches for free at bars and restaurants.
"More than a hundred passengers were stranded because of this man's filthy habit. Well at least they didn't have to sit next to him while he was doing it," said one officer.
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Woman Charged after Shopping with Loaded Gun

The Macclenny Walmart was cleared out yesterday because of a woman with a gun.
According to the Baker County Sheriff's Office, it happened Tuesday afternoon when 54-year-old Patricia Anthony Perry went shopping.
She told deputies she was buying ammunition for the .38 caliber handgun she was carrying, and said she had a concealed weapons permit.

According to the report of the incident, she said she took the gun out of her purse and unloaded it in the sporting goods section in front of a clerk.
The deputy indicates she smelled of alcohol, but she denied drinking.
She also changed her story a short time later and denied being in the sporting goods section. She also said she didn't know if the pistol was loaded.
The employee in the sporting goods section told a deputy the woman pulled out a gun, removed a bullet from it, and asked if the store sold that kind of bullet. When he told her no, she reloaded the gun.
The employee told the deputy the woman smelled of alcohol and had watery eyes. He also noticed a liquor bottle in her purse.
After Perry was arrested, she told deputies the gun was a gift from her son, and she was having a rough time and wanted to go into the woods and hunt, saying the .38 was to kill snakes.
She also told deputies he didn't know it was illegal to display a firearm in public.
Perry faces charges of disorderly intoxication and improperly exhibiting a firearm.

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Mission Impossible

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Only for the real crazy people

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Ladder…I don’t need no stinking ladder

Question

How in the hell did he get up on top of the buckets?

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Human Stupidity

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Man has electronic tag fitted to false leg

Bret Ravenhill spent three months fighting the urge to break his curfew — after the tracking device was fitted to his FALSE LEG.
Bret, 29 — convicted of possessing cannabis — was amazed when a Group 4 security worker failed to spot his left leg was made of metal and DETACHABLE.
The forklift driver grinned yesterday: "Two friends were at my house when she came round and were killing themselves laughing.
"I thought she would realise straight away — but she never bothered to turn up my trouser leg or look underneath my sock.
"I just left things as they were for a joke."
Bret, who was given probation by a judge and barred for three months from going out at night, had his tag checked every four weeks and STILL no one realised.
In between he would prop his artificial leg in a corner and wear a spare in Barnsley, South Yorks.
Bret, who lost his limb in a motorbike crash six years ago, said: "I didn’t break my curfew once — but I could have been out living it up every night. I’m no danger to the public — but what if they’d done the same thing to an armed robber?"

What happens in life when you.....

.....didn’t pay attention to SPELLING in grade school

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Idiots

London street cell phone texting injuries

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What's wrong with talking?

With everything at a faster pace today why text you message?

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MinionsWeb said...
Aw,come on, that was so fake. You want us to believe they are so insipidly stupid in London that they padded posts for morons who walk into them?

Please note that 3 of the people shown were in multiple clips, at least half the clips were obviously staged (the person(s) made a point of moving into the obstacles.)

Team Work - Two Idiots are Always Better than One

Anonymous said...
What are the odds that there's a third idiot inside holding on to the other end of the ladder?

Pizza makes some people hopping mad

A restaurant has sparked fury by serving up pizzas with a topping of FROGS’ LEGS. The "Hopper" contains frog legs on a traditional base with capers and an anchovy sorbet.
The £17.95 dish has angered campaigners who slammed it as "barbaric" — because frogs’ legs are amputated while they are still alive.
Chef Sami Wasif came up with the idea on a trip to Paris — and called it "refined".
He said: "I’ve been making pizza for more than 20 years and know that London is a city always looking for something new."
He added: "Pizza is something you can always experiment with. I might try one with snails on it next."

Monkey Waiters

The local hangout just north of Tokyo employs a pair of Japanese monkeys called Yat-chan and Fuku-chan to serve their customers.
The younger of the two, Fuku-chan, usually begins the first shift and is quick to hand out customers a hot towel to help them clean their hands before they order their first drinks.
Fuku-chan, who is four, has two years experience under his furry belt and his work load is limited to hot towels.
Both monkeys are well appreciated by customers who tip them with boiled soya-beans to enjoy during their down time.
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It’s bad enough they send jobs over seas and use robotics for assembly lines now they use monkeys for waiters.

Just How Dumb Can People Be

We all have to fail sometimes.
But there's something glorious about failing with style.
A new book, “The best test paper blunders” give some great examples of exam answers from the most clueless - and inventive - of students. Some are very nearly right ("What happens to your body when taking a breath? Your chest gets bigger"), but some are very wrong indeed (Is the moon or the sun more important? The moon gives us sight at night when we need it. The sun only provides light in the day when we don't. Therefore the moon is more important). Laugh...and weep for the state of education!

1) Classical Studies
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin
2) Biology
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie
3) General Studies
Question: Jeff has been asked to collect data about the amount of television his friends watch. Think of an appropriate question he could ask them.
Answer: How much TV do you watch?
4) Classical Studies
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones
5) Biology
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death
6) Geography
Question: What are the Pyramids?
Answer: The Pyramids are a large mountain range which splits France and Spain
7) Biology
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television
8) English
Question: In Pride and Prejudice, at what moment does Elizabeth Bennet realize her true feelings for Mr Darcy?
Answer: When she sees him coming out of the lake.
9) Geography
Question: What do we call a person forced to leave their home perhaps by a natural disaster or war, without having another home to go to.
Answer: Homeless
10) Religious Studies
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony
11) Biology
Question: In the Hawaiian Islands, there are around 500 different species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this
Answer: There are approximately 500 varieties of fruit
12) Physics
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels
Answer: Fire
13) Geography
Question: Define the term "intensive farming".
Answer: It is when a farmer never has a day off.
14) Maths
Question: Change 7/8 to a decimal
Answer: 7.8
15) Geography
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar
16) General Studies
Question: Redundancy is often an unpleasant and unexpected event in someone's life. Give two examples of unexpected life events.
Answer: 1) death 2) Reincarnation
17) History
Question: What was introduced in the Children's Charter of 1908?
Answer: Children
18) Business Studies
Question: Explain the word "wholesaler".
Answer: Someone who sells you whole items - eg, a whole cake
19) Geography
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria
20) Geography
Question: What artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas?
Answer: The Sewage Canal
21) Geography
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse
22) Maths
Question: Expand 2 (x + y)
Answer: 2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
23) Business Studies
Question: Assess Fashion House pls's choice to locate its factory near Birmingham. Is Birmingham the right location for this type of business?
Answer: No. People from Birmingham aren't very fashionable.
24) History
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.
25) History
Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Answer: Unusual names.

Dizzy Kid

Parents spin their kid and then watch as he walks straight into a pole.

What happens when you don't say "NO" to alcohol

What do you think?

How old is she and what happen to her shirt?

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At least she is in a good position if she got sick.

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JOE said...
Hey its Sarah Palin's daughter!

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So that's how she got pregnant

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Man with stolen debit card in pocket: 'Not my pants'
When Collier County sheriff’s deputies arrested a 19-year-old man on trespassing charges at Wal-Mart on Monday, and then found a stolen debit card in his pants pocket, the teen had a perfectly good excuse. "They weren’t his pants."
The teen, Richard W. Obdyke, 637 101st Ave., North Naples, told deputies he found the pants in his van, and did not know who they belonged to, reports said. When asked who may have left the pants in his van, Obdyke couldn’t think of anyone.
So, as credible as his excuse was, deputies chose to check it out.
Deputies located the owner of the debit card, Deborah Cahill, who said someone had charged $32.80 at McDonalds, $42.02 at a Shell gas station, and $85 at a 7-Eleven to her account. She said she didn’t know where her debit card was, and thought she may have left it at Marsala Pizza over the weekend, reports said.
Surprise, surprise, deputies determined that Obdyke was an employee of Marsala Pizza.
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A man says no to sex from sex addicted girlfriend
A nympho who constantly pestered her boyfriend for sex pushed him too far one night and suffered a whack on the cheek, a court was told.
William Hurst was tucked up in bed and begged his girlfriend to leave him alone because he was tired.
In a moment of frustration he snapped and caught her cheek with the back of his hand as he tried to push her away.
His partner persistently wakes him during the night requiring sex
"This has been happening almost every night for the last two years.
"He says her insatiable appetite of sex has caused a lot of problems between them."
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Number One Plus also cures acne
A condom lubricant designed for sex workers and gay men has become a popular acne cure among female Cambodians, women in the capital have said.
Number One Plus, a water-based lubricant produced by health organization Population Services International (PSI), is an excellent cure for acne, 29-year-old vendor Tep Kemyoeurn told news agencies.
"After I used it for three days, all of my acne dried up and went away," she said. "Many people believe in it," she added.
Khen Vanny, 29, from Phnom Penh, said women of all ages have taken to using the lubricant to get rid of spots.
"It is very effective. Some people don't believe in it but people who do really get a good result."
PICTURE and More
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Flies are one jump ahead of the swatter
Astonishingly quick thinking accounts for the ability of flies to avoid being swatted, scientists have discovered. High-speed imaging has revealed an ability to execute an emergency takeoff in a split second.
Within 200 milliseconds of spotting the looming swatter, the fly calculates the location of the threat and positions its legs for a jump in the safest direction.
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Cell Phone Alarm Blamed for Teen's Fatal Heart Attack
A cell phone alarm is being blamed for triggering a sudden heart attack that led to the death of a teenager in Britain.
Kaisa Ber, 17, collapsed at home two weeks after her teachers took her to the hospital with heart palpitations and irregular breathing.
It was later discovered the teenager had Long QT syndrome. LQTS is a condition that causes sudden, uncontrollable and dangerous heart rhythms in response to stress and exercise, according to the National Institutes of Health. Irregular rhythms may also be triggered by surprise or extreme emotions. In Kaisa's case, doctors believe a cell phone alarm ultimately caused her heart attack.