Head standing milk drinking doesn't go as well

Aircraft carrier up for bids

The British aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal can be yours, courtesy of the U.K. Ministry of Defense auction Web site, authorities said. The former flagship of the Royal Navy was decommissioned two weeks ago years as part of the government's defense budget review after serving with the fleet for 25 years Interested auction bidders can view Ark Royal at her home port, Portsmouth Naval Base, on May 3 and 4, authorities said. Bidders wishing to inspect the carrier must submit an outline of their "intentions regarding the vessel" to the Ministry of Defense. There have been proposals to turn it into a commercial heliport, a base for security personnel during the London Olympics, or a school and nightclub. For those who can't quite manage the purchase of an aircraft carrier, there are also three destroyers -- HMS Exeter, HMS Southampton and HMS Nottingham -- up for auction.

Woman cheats on term paper, then complains

A woman who ordered a custom-written term paper from a Minnesota company says she complained to the Better Business Bureau when it didn't arrive on time. Despite that fact that submitting a purchased paper as her own work would constitute academic cheating, the Colorado woman complained to the Minnesota BBB about Essaywritingcompany.com. "I ordered it, and they were supposed to have it back to me within four days," the woman said "I constantly e-mailed. Nobody replied to me." Numerous complaints have been made against the company, which has resolved most of those registered with the Minnesota BBB. However, BBB President and Chief Executive Officer Dana Badgerow calls Essaywritingcompany.com owner Jordan Kavoosi an "entrepreneur who is skating on the thin edge of legality, and for sure he's plunged into what we think is unethical behavior."

Statue thefts hits California

Authorities in Escondido, California says thieves have been carrying off statues -- some weighing hundreds of pounds -- from lawns across San Diego County, Calif., authorities say. Many of the stolen sculptures are metal and may be targeted for scrap, Sgt. Christina Bavencoff of the Ramona Sheriff's Substation. Eighteen statues have been stolen in thirteen thefts reported since Oct. 14, law enforcement records show. Their total estimated value is $43,820. The missing statues include two bronze horses in Solana Beach, two Buddha’s in Vista, a bronze horse in Rancho Santa Fe, a life-sized copper statue of three children in Bonita and a 600-pound bronze moose and a life-sized aluminum colt, both in Ramona.

Man sent a rude email about ex across the country

A property surveyor inadvertently copied his ex into his conversation with a male friend – after he had referred to her as an ‘f***ing t***’. Now the exchange, which took place last Wednesday, has been passed to office inboxes across the country. The surveyor meant to send his ex-girlfriend’s email address to the friend but instead sent the message – and all previous exchanges – to her. Realizing his mistake immediately, he wrote back to his friend: ‘F*** – I CCd her in!’ To make matters worse, he still lives with the woman in question. In a later email, he wrote: ‘I’m in so so so much trouble; we didn’t get on before so this will be the final nail in the coffin.’ It began when the property surveyor, received an email from his friend, a City insurance worker, who wanted to organize a game of football on the weekend. The friend added: ‘Bumped into your ex-girlfriend the other weekend... she is a looker to say the least!’ In another message, the friend checked if he could ask the woman out. The property consultant replied: ‘Wouldn’t care in the slightest. To be honest she is f***ing t***. I don’t dislike many people but she is one. He then made the cc blunder, after which the friend wrote: ‘Oh my god!!! You are going to be in serious trouble!!’

Office worker fired for “SHOUTY” emails

An office worker was fired for sending e-mails in capital letters and red lettering, a tribunal heard. Vicki Walker, a financial adviser, was being too 'confrontational' when she sent out her 'shouty' e-mails, her former employer claimed. In one e-mail, she typed: 'TO ENSURE YOUR STAFF CLAIM IS PROCESSED AND PAID, PLEASE DO FOLLOW THE BELOW CHECKLIST.' General Netiquette rules say people should avoid typing in capitals, which is considered to be shouting or yelling. But Ms Walker had the last reply when she was awarded UK£ 7000 = 11,220.3 U.S. dollars for unfair dismissal in Auckland, New Zealand. While the e-mails caused disharmony, she received no warnings about losing her job in 2007, the panel found. ProCare also had no e-mail style guide, meaning staff could not be certain about what communication was appropriate.

Woman choked a 71-year-old Wal-Mart greeter

Authorities in Elyria, Ohio say a pregnant woman and her mother were arrested after the older woman choked a 71-year-old Wal-Mart greeter while leaving the store. Elyria police say 49-year-old Toni Duncan, of Elyria, was asked to show a receipt Saturday and responded by pushing a cart into the greeter, grabbing his throat and choking him. She was charged with assault. Her daughter, 21-year-old Ashley Jackson, of Elyria, was charged with aggravated menacing and inducing panic. She's accused of saying she would blow up the store and that the greeter would be dead when her boyfriend learned of the incident.