Friday, August 28, 2009

What's a Obamatone?

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Inmate farted in officer's face before punching him
A mighty rude wind flew in the face of corrections officer Mathew Knowles on May 13. Knowles was three days on the job when inmate Kareem Haskins, 21, farted in his face at the Monroe County Correctional.
During a routine cell search, Knowles patted Haskins down. While Knowles worked down the right leg, Haskins said, "I've been saving this for you," and let one go.
"I said nothing and continued my search," Knowles testified Monday at a preliminary hearing in front of Judge Jolana Krawitz. Knowles claims the gas was a prelude to a punch.
Haskins was charged with aggravated assault after the cell search turned into a scuffle. A videotape of the incident exists but it has not been made public. It will likely be a key piece of evidence in the case, which has been held for court.
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The $8.00 Ice For The Perfect Drinks - (Oops Not News)
A Japanese company has introduced a mold that seamlessly creates a perfect sphere, no chipping and shaving required. Simple place a chunk of ice into the metal press and, as it melts, the device will close around the ice forming a ball, which is then released by the flick of a switch.
Spheres of ice are preferred by serious on the rocks drinkers because the reduced surface size means that the ice melts at a slower pace, keeping your drink from getting watery to quickly.
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Bizarre Laugh

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MAOAM sour candies feature 'fruits in pornographic poses'

A father-of-two has spoken of his disgust after spotting fruity cartoon characters appearing to have sex on SWEET wrappers.
Simon Simpkins was buying Haribo MAOAM sour candies for his children when he noticed the 'pornographic' illustrations of limes, lemons and cherries romping with each other.
Mr Simpkins, of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, said: 'The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter.

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Fruity: According to Mr Simpkins, the lime has a 'particularly lurid' expression on its face during its encounter with a lemon
Debauched: The lime enjoys a similarly smutty experience with a willing pair of cherries
'The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.'
He said: 'I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.'
A spokesman for Haribo said the 'fun' packaging of the sweets was introduced in Germany 2002 and added: 'This jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans.'
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Prisoner sues after catching hepatitis C in jail

A violent drunken bully who killed his girlfriend's three-year-old son is suing for damages because he caught hepatitis C in jail. Killer Mark Mietto, who escaped with just four years in prison over the 2001 killing of little Jonathan Guiver, has demanded compensation for his "pain and suffering". His plight has attracted little sympathy from the shattered dad of his young victim.
Drunken Mietto smashed Jonathan's skull at the boy's mother's Vermont home in June 2001. He pleaded guilty to manslaughter, saying he had dropped the young boy on his head accidentally, a claim rejected by the court. Jonathan had complained Mietto had harmed him previously and an autopsy found bruises on his body consistent with previous child abuse. Now Mietto claims he is suffering and deserves to be paid damages.
In a writ lodged in the Victorian County Court on Monday, the 34-year-old alleged he had contracted hepatitis C from fellow inmates at Port Phillip Prison. His suffered liver dysfunction, fatigue, abdominal pain, night sweats and pain and suffering, the writ said. The former laborer and painter was also permanently "incapacitated for employments to which he is suited", the writ alleges. Mietto has accused the private prison's operator, G4S Custodial Services, of failing to protect him from the deadly disease. The prison operator should have warned him about the dangers of sharing electric razors and other personal items with other inmates, and should have isolated prisoners with the disease, the writ claims. It is believed Mietto has claimed to the prison he was infected with hepatitis C while using a communal electric razor in the prison's high-security Charlotte Unit, which is designed to manage difficult prisoners. Mietto was shifted to the unit after several prisoners alleged he was standing over them.
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Husband takes punishment from wife for doing wrong

A wife took revenge on her husband after she discovered he was having an affair by making him stand in public with a sign saying 'I cheated'.
William Taylor stood shame-faced on a busy road with the large homemade sign draped round his neck saying: 'I cheated. This is my punishment.'
Taylor said his wife had come up with the humiliating punishment after she found out he had cheated on her.
William Taylor was forced to stand at a busy junction wearing this sign after his wife caught him cheating on her with another woman
The wife, who has not been named, found evidence of his affair on his mobile phone.
Taylor, of Centreville, Virginia, said his wife had wanted him to stand with the sign for a week.
But after a couple of hours he received a call to say his punishment was over.
He told a local TV station in Virginia that he thought his wife was joking when she suggested the idea.
'I thought she was kidding, but she was serious,' he said.
'I figured I got to do what I got to do to makes things right. So here I am.'
Dozens of drivers honked their car horns as they saw Taylor standing forlornly on the busy junction during the morning rush hour.
He began his punishment at 9am and two hours later received a call from his wife telling him he could return home.
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The fight from right to left driving

Rebellion is stirring in the normally laid-back Pacific island nation of Samoa, with threats to torch buses and stage mass demonstrations – all over an official plan to oblige citizens to drive on the left.
Thanks to a brief period of German rule in the early 20th century, Samoans have always driven on the right. The government plans to change that on 7 September, making this the first country to swap sides since Ghana in 1974. The rationale is that the switch will encourage Samoans' relatives in Australia and New Zealand to send home their used right-hand-drive cars. At present, most vehicles on the streets of the archipelago are gas-guzzling American left-hand drives.
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Cillit Bang used to clean nuclear waste

The £1.99 household product Cillit Bang is being used to help clean plutonium stains at the defunct Dounreay nuclear power plant in Caithness.
Dounreay Site Restoration Limited (DSRL) said it would help reduce the £2.6bn cost of dismantling the site.
The cleaner's use has also drawn interest from operators of other nuclear sites in the UK.
A different domestic product has already been applied in the cleaning of contaminated glass tubes.
Randall Bargelt, of the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority, which owns Dounreay, said such innovative thinking would save taxpayers, who are funding the cost of the dismantling project.
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