Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Words with different meanings

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?" The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." The son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch." The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!" The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?" The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"

Step by Step

Click to Enlarge

The most useless piece of crap

87 Implements / 141 Functions

Wenger Gigantic Swiss Army Knife
Price: $1400.00
Mad Izatie said... is it going to fit in my pocket?
That's part of being the most useless piece of crap

Turning on the lights in the morning just got better

Bare Back Riding

When I said we go bare back riding that means without a saddle

The things we do when we are bored.

Mattress Jousting
Guys run full speed at each other in a dorm then jump on mattresses and slam into one another.

Pole Vaulter does a really good job with the jump but....

Sucks on Landing

I'm gonna say this guy had it coming.

Horse gives man what he deserved a kick in the face
Anonymous said...
Frickin idiot. Bet he is dumb enough to do it again :)

World's smallest man looks up woman with world's longest legs

Canada has gone to pot

Canada ranks number one— in its use of marijuana, that is.

Never get tired of harmless pranks

Minivan prank

Extremely funny prank

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Model offers virginity for $$$$$
An Italian model and former "Big Brother" cast member say she is selling her virginity for nearly $1.5 million.
Raffella Fico, 20, an aspiring actress who appeared on the Italian version of "Big Brother" this year, told the celebrity magazine Chi she will have sex for the first time with a man willing to pay $1,419,595 for the honor, ANSA reported Tuesday.
"I can't wait to see who's going to pull out the money to have me," she said. "I don't know what it's like to have sex."
Fico said despite her high asking price for her virginity, she plans to be choosy about the buyer.
"If I don't like him I'll just have a glass of wine and forget about it," she said.
Fico's brother was quoted by Chi as backing up his sister's claims of sexual purity.
"She's never had a boyfriend. I swear on my mother's grave," he told the magazine. "She's a devout Catholic and prays to Padre Pio every night."
I see one problem with this.
It's against Catholic religion to have unmarried sex.
PETA activists shower naked
Two animals rights activists took a nude shower together in a Pittsburgh square Tuesday afternoon, using a banner as an improvised shower stall.
The women were both members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which opposes killing animals for meat or hides, as well as scientific experimentation involving animals.
While they were both naked during their shower at Forbes Avenue and Market Place, the large banner covered them from mid-thigh to just below their shoulders. It bore pro-vegetarian slogans, including "1 lb. of meat equals 6 months of showers."
PETA said the environmentally conscious should learn that giving up meat is one of the best things they can do.
"It's impossible to 'go green' without going vegetarian," said PETA member Colleen Higgins. "Just by changing their diets, concerned people can help protect the Earth, their own health and countless animals."
A duck that’s chicken of water
A Chinese farmer is baffled after he bought a duck that has feet like a chicken and is scared of water.
Curious villagers in Huangjin village, Xicheng town, are flocking to the home of Fu Haiwen to see the duck.
Fu said he bought the duck in June but did not notice its unusual feet for ten days, reports Laibin News.
It was only after he noticed it acting differently to the rest of the ducks that he examined it closely and was surprised to see it did not have webbed feet.
"It never went with the other ducks to swim in the river," he explained.
'Upside Down Rainbow'
Exceptional atmospheric conditions created a rare and stunning display in the skies above Cambridge. At 4.45pm on Sunday, a circumzenithal arc - which looks like a bright, upside-down rainbow was visible above the city.
Cambridge-based astronomer Jacqueline Mitton captured the stunning sight, caused by sunlight being refracted through ice crystals high in the atmosphere, with her camera. The phenomenon is rarely seen outside the polar regions.
She said: "The conditions have to be just right: you need the right sort of ice crystals and the sky has to be clear. It's quite surprising for this to occur somewhere like Cambridge, usually it is in places that are colder."
Picture and More
Whose dog poop mess is this?
Officials in an Israeli city have come up with an innovative way of tracking dog owners who allow their pets to foul the streets - DNA analysis.
Authorities in Petah Tikva, near Tel Aviv, are setting up a special DNA database of local dogs.
They will use the data to match dogs' droppings to owners - and punish those who do not clean up after their pets.
While those who keep the streets clear will be rewarded, owners who fail to scoop the poop could face fines.