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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Why marriages sometimes don’t work out
A couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.
The counselor sits them on the couch and says 'For starters, lets talk about something you both have in common.
The husband says 'Well, neither of us suck dick.'
Well, this could be the problem.
The counselor sits them on the couch and says 'For starters, lets talk about something you both have in common.
The husband says 'Well, neither of us suck dick.'
Well, this could be the problem.
Just Signs
Daily High Protein 
Evil Taxi, I guess you need to sell your soul to catch this taxi!
That's is how it is. 
The Only Time You're AbleWhy did I post this?
Hard-boiled eggs can be annoying and time consuming to peel.
Tim Ferris demonstrates how easy it is to get the egg without having to peel it!
Tim Ferris demonstrates how easy it is to get the egg without having to peel it!
Instructions:
You need to use the freshest and healthiest eggs possiable
Cover the eggs with water and boil on low for about 12 minutes
Cool the eggs by placing them in cold water with 1 teaspoon of baking soda and ice. The baking soda raises the pH level and reduces adherence. If you choose not to use baking soda, be sure to move the eggs into cold water with plenty of ice immediately after boiling
Crack the top of the egg and remove a small piece
Crack the bottom (wide end) of the egg and remove a small piece
Hold the egg in your hand and blow vigorously into the narrow end of the egg, which will expel it out the wide end
Doesn’t get much easier than that! Just be ready to catch it when it comes out…
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I hope nobody in food services are blowing on my eggs... (wow, that sounds naughty)
Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
Man Remembers Woman’s Butt Weeks Later
An alleged bank robber was caught as she tried to raid the same branch twice - when a witness identified her by her big butt.
Police say Sandra Meiser, 26, got away with a £12,000 robbery in Norf, western Germany, after threatening bank staff with a gun.
Witnesses told officers that the raider was a woman with a "very large butt" and "powerful thighs".
Then weeks later one witness found himself behind what he believes to be the same butt as they stood in a queue at the same branch.
"He called the police and they arrested her and found her ski mask and hand gun in her jacket. He said he recognized her butt right away - he'd never forget something that big," said one bank worker.
Now Meiser is facing up to 10 years in jail on robbery and firearms charges while the 61-year-old witness has landed a £4,000 reward.
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Woman sets tow truck on fire
A Portland woman who allegedly set a tow truck on fire as the driver was preparing to take her car faces arson and criminal mischief charges. A twenty-year-old woman was arraigned last week.
Court papers said the tow truck driver went to a Portland apartment complex Tuesday to tow the illegally parked car and became surrounded by an angry crowd.
The driver offered to release the car for $150, but police said the woman threatened to set the truck on fire if he didn't release the car.
The driver locked himself in the cab and called 911 and was told soon after that his truck was ablaze. He put it out with a fire extinguisher.
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Drunk driver thanks the officers that stopped him.
Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.
A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me" after he was stopped early last Friday.
The complaint says he added, "I shouldn't have been driving and deserve to get caught."
According to the complaint filed in Sheboygan County Circuit Court, a Plymouth police officer saw Hyland's vehicle weaving and pulled him over.
After he failed field sobriety tests and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, or over the limit of 0.08 percent, he told officers he knew he had been drinking too much to drive.
The felony charge carries up to three years in prison.
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"Cops told me I look like a man"
A woman driver is furious after police said she looked like a man.
Short-haired Pauline Synnott, 59, was caught speeding and admitted it in a letter to cops.
She expected a £60 fine and three penalty points for doing 52mph in a 40mph zone. But cops who looked at the speed camera photo were convinced the driver was a man.
They wrote to Pauline’s partner Roy Watkins, 65, who owns the car, to confirm who was driving.
A letter to him read: "From the copy of the photograph it appears that the driver was a male."
"I am fuming and Pauline is very upset — any woman would be if they were told they look like a man. I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused."
Picture and More
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An alleged bank robber was caught as she tried to raid the same branch twice - when a witness identified her by her big butt.
Police say Sandra Meiser, 26, got away with a £12,000 robbery in Norf, western Germany, after threatening bank staff with a gun.
Witnesses told officers that the raider was a woman with a "very large butt" and "powerful thighs".
Then weeks later one witness found himself behind what he believes to be the same butt as they stood in a queue at the same branch.
"He called the police and they arrested her and found her ski mask and hand gun in her jacket. He said he recognized her butt right away - he'd never forget something that big," said one bank worker.
Now Meiser is facing up to 10 years in jail on robbery and firearms charges while the 61-year-old witness has landed a £4,000 reward.
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Woman sets tow truck on fire
A Portland woman who allegedly set a tow truck on fire as the driver was preparing to take her car faces arson and criminal mischief charges. A twenty-year-old woman was arraigned last week.
Court papers said the tow truck driver went to a Portland apartment complex Tuesday to tow the illegally parked car and became surrounded by an angry crowd.
The driver offered to release the car for $150, but police said the woman threatened to set the truck on fire if he didn't release the car.
The driver locked himself in the cab and called 911 and was told soon after that his truck was ablaze. He put it out with a fire extinguisher.
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Drunk driver thanks the officers that stopped him.
Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.
A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me" after he was stopped early last Friday.
The complaint says he added, "I shouldn't have been driving and deserve to get caught."
According to the complaint filed in Sheboygan County Circuit Court, a Plymouth police officer saw Hyland's vehicle weaving and pulled him over.
After he failed field sobriety tests and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, or over the limit of 0.08 percent, he told officers he knew he had been drinking too much to drive.
The felony charge carries up to three years in prison.
.
"Cops told me I look like a man"
A woman driver is furious after police said she looked like a man.
Short-haired Pauline Synnott, 59, was caught speeding and admitted it in a letter to cops.
She expected a £60 fine and three penalty points for doing 52mph in a 40mph zone. But cops who looked at the speed camera photo were convinced the driver was a man.
They wrote to Pauline’s partner Roy Watkins, 65, who owns the car, to confirm who was driving.
A letter to him read: "From the copy of the photograph it appears that the driver was a male."
"I am fuming and Pauline is very upset — any woman would be if they were told they look like a man. I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused."
Picture and More
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DAMN SHE'S ONE UGLY WOMAN
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Eleven-year-old Sent Home from School for Offensive Shirt
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
An Aurora, Wis., father says his 11-year-old should not have been sent home from school for wearing a "Barack Obama is a terrorist's best friend" shirt. Dann Dalton, a self-proclaimed "proud conservative," said administrators at Aurora Frontier K-8 School were biased against his son, Daxx.
"It's the public school system," Dalton said. "Let's be honest, it's full of liberal loons."
School administrators said Daxx Dalton chose the suspension over changing out of the home-made shirt or turning the garment inside out.
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
"They're taking away my right of freedom of speech," he said. "If I have the right to wear this shirt I'm going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I'm going to get suspended."
The elder Dalton said he plans to fight his son's punishment in court.
An Aurora, Wis., father says his 11-year-old should not have been sent home from school for wearing a "Barack Obama is a terrorist's best friend" shirt. Dann Dalton, a self-proclaimed "proud conservative," said administrators at Aurora Frontier K-8 School were biased against his son, Daxx.
"It's the public school system," Dalton said. "Let's be honest, it's full of liberal loons."
School administrators said Daxx Dalton chose the suspension over changing out of the home-made shirt or turning the garment inside out.
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
"They're taking away my right of freedom of speech," he said. "If I have the right to wear this shirt I'm going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I'm going to get suspended."
The elder Dalton said he plans to fight his son's punishment in court.
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SOUNDS LIKE HIS FATHER HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS HOMEMADE SHIRT.
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I’m Not Ready To Die Yet
Free Funeral Winner Has Not Claimed Prize. The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy.
The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in the southern Italian town of San Marco in Lamis.
The holder of the winning ticket in the raffle is entitled to a free lined coffin, a tombstone, copper candlesticks and a grave site.
There is no deadline for claiming the prize and the winner can give it to somebody else, raffle organizers said, according to the paper.
Free Funeral Winner Has Not Claimed Prize. The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy.
The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in the southern Italian town of San Marco in Lamis.
The holder of the winning ticket in the raffle is entitled to a free lined coffin, a tombstone, copper candlesticks and a grave site.
There is no deadline for claiming the prize and the winner can give it to somebody else, raffle organizers said, according to the paper.
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$182,000 In Nickels Spill Onto Florida Interstate
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway.
A section of Interstate 95 was closed in Florida after a fatal truck crash spilled $182,000 worth of nickels onto the road, police said.
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway in Brevard County after a truck that was carrying the nickels to Miami from the U.S. mint in Philadelphia was involved in a side-swipe collision with another truck.
One of the two guards riding in the money truck was declared dead at the scene and the other guard was hospitalized. The driver of the second truck also was taken to a hospital for treatment.
A section of Interstate 95 was closed in Florida after a fatal truck crash spilled $182,000 worth of nickels onto the road, police said.
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway in Brevard County after a truck that was carrying the nickels to Miami from the U.S. mint in Philadelphia was involved in a side-swipe collision with another truck.
One of the two guards riding in the money truck was declared dead at the scene and the other guard was hospitalized. The driver of the second truck also was taken to a hospital for treatment.
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Judge Who Used Sex Device in Court Disbarred
The Oklahoma Supreme Court on Tuesday disbarred a former judge who served prison time for using a sexual device while presiding over trials.
Former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, 61, was accused of using a "penis pump" in court and convicted in June 2006 on four counts of indecent exposure.
Thompson was released in April after serving 20 months of a four-year prison term and has had to register as a sex offender. He was suspended from the bar association in late 2006.
The opinion written by Supreme Court Justice John Reif states that discipline less than disbarment has been imposed in cases involving felony convictions.
"However, the nature of the crimes in this matter led this Court to conclude that nothing less than disbarment is appropriate. The conduct was not isolated, having occurred over a fairly lengthy period of time and on four separate occasions," Reif wrote.
Thompson maintained during trial that the device was given to him as a gag gift by a hunting buddy and denied ever using it during trials. The Supreme Court said he never responded to requests for a hearing on his disbarment.
The Oklahoma Supreme Court on Tuesday disbarred a former judge who served prison time for using a sexual device while presiding over trials.
Former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, 61, was accused of using a "penis pump" in court and convicted in June 2006 on four counts of indecent exposure.
Thompson was released in April after serving 20 months of a four-year prison term and has had to register as a sex offender. He was suspended from the bar association in late 2006.
The opinion written by Supreme Court Justice John Reif states that discipline less than disbarment has been imposed in cases involving felony convictions.
"However, the nature of the crimes in this matter led this Court to conclude that nothing less than disbarment is appropriate. The conduct was not isolated, having occurred over a fairly lengthy period of time and on four separate occasions," Reif wrote.
Thompson maintained during trial that the device was given to him as a gag gift by a hunting buddy and denied ever using it during trials. The Supreme Court said he never responded to requests for a hearing on his disbarment.
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Fans Complains About Skimpy Cheerleaders Uniforms
Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another make over after spectators complained that cheerleaders' uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.
After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.
"A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate," said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. "To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them."
The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.
"I'm not quite sure what will happen to them," he said.
The cheerleaders coach ordered the uniforms and paid for them with $4,200 from a spirit squad fund, part of which is drawn from student fees, Pitman said. The squad has ordered new uniforms with $2,200 in private money, he added.
Picture
Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another make over after spectators complained that cheerleaders' uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.
After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.
"A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate," said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. "To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them."
The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.
"I'm not quite sure what will happen to them," he said.
The cheerleaders coach ordered the uniforms and paid for them with $4,200 from a spirit squad fund, part of which is drawn from student fees, Pitman said. The squad has ordered new uniforms with $2,200 in private money, he added.
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MORE MATERIAL IN CHEERLEADER UNIFORMS COST ALMOST HALF THE MONEY.
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