Biff The Cat

This is typical. It beats me how human civilization ever advanced when they can't even sort out a reasonably-sized catflap for me. As if trying to squeeze through that hopelessly minuscule hole isn't humiliating enough, they have to leave carrier bags full of bottles for recycling by the entrance, which makes the whole pallaver noisy and tiresome. I wouldn't mind but the Master and Mistress frequently stand there and laugh as I struggle to get into the house. I can't see the joke myself, but I've learned that humans are strange, mysterious creatures.
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Tattoo Jim said...
That little kitty "brrr" near the end sounded like "fucker" to me.

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I thought it was more like "Mother Fuckers" to me.

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trail dust said...
That would pretty much scare the living shit out of me at about 2am while watching

Freddie Kruger.

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Worm causes computer crash
A Somerset man suspected a worm virus when his computer crashed - but was shocked to learn the problem was a real wom.
Mark Taylor called out an IT repairmen who found a five inch earthworm inside his laptop.
It had crawled into his computer through an air vent and wrapped itself around the internal fan, leading to a total breakdown.
Mr Taylor, suspects the culprits were his two cats who are in the habit of pouncing on earthworms outside and bringing them into the house.
Mr Taylor, from Yeovil, said: "The worm was obviously looking for a hiding place and must have crawled in through the air vent to get away from the cats.
"I couldn't help thinking that people get computer worms all the time, but not real life ones."
Computer technician Sam Robinson, 28, who discovered the worm said: "I took the back off and had a look inside. Then I spotted what at first I thought was some sort of hair band or elastic band wrapped around the fan.
"I soon discovered that it was a worm which had been burned to a frazzle. It had obviously wrapped around the fan when somebody had turned on the computer and caused the breakdown due to the fan jamming.
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SWAT team suspended over nude photos
Police chiefs have suspended a group of SWAT cops who posed for nude pictures with their weapons out at their graduation party.
The nine elite officers - all men - stripped off and flashed their guns after a night of kinky sex games at the bash in Vastra Gotaland, Sweden.
In one featuring a male stripper, the special forces-trained cops posed for nude snapshots from the waist down while holding their police-issue sub-machine guns for a gay identity parade.
Shocked instructors broke up the bash and suspended the ringleaders from SWAT team duties while confining them to desk jobs.
Police spokesman Erik Nord said: "They say it was supposed to be a joke aimed at the instructors. During the party, a scenario was played out that was intended to shock them. They didn't display the most fabulous sense of judgment."
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Funeral director leaves corpse in hearse to rot
A funeral director faces a felony charge after police found a woman's decomposing body in the back of a hearse. Police said the 76-year-old funeral home owner was charged Tuesday with abusing a corpse. Police said the woman died of natural causes in November 2007 at the age of 52. Relatives said they wanted her remains cremated.
But police said the family never signed papers for a cremation or paid the funeral home. So the owner put the body in the back of a hearse and parked it on a lot with other old vehicles.
Someone complained about a foul odor, leading officers to discover the decomposing remains.
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Tattoo Jim said...
Oh damn!!! I'd hate to be within a mile of that hearse. Whew!!!!!

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trail dust said...
That funeral home guy is old school.."No Deposit No Return"...

BTW, is it really a felony charge to leave a stiff in the car?

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Butt Crack Chainsaw

This is quite an achievement for

Moose since he had to learned how to play his Butt Crack with an air hose

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Tattoo Jim said...
This is the funniest video I've seen in a long time.

I'm still laughing my "chainsaw" off at it.

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Steff said...
lol that's my dad in the back ground... you need to experience the other things that go on in that shop... you would be amazed!

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Don't leave us in suspense tell us more better yet get a video of what goes on.

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Lighting Bottle Rockets in Your Butt is Dangerous

Girl uses her ass crack as a launching pad for a large bottle rocket.

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Guy demonstrates one of the dangers of putting a bottle rocket in your butt crack.

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Tattoo Jim said...
What is it with ass cracks and fireworks???? Is it just the natural stupidity of youth???

Looking at those twits, I don't feel so bad leaving them with all the debt from the bailout...

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Pizza Hut in Italy - NSFW

A hidden camera reaction of Italians eating Pizza Hut lasagna.

Pizza Hut in Italy - watch more funny videos

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Tattoo Jim said...
How did that one dude know it tasted like dick?????

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Could it be from experiencing the real thing.

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Sewage Explosion Forces Families From Homes

Several Inches Of Waste Coats Walls, Floors

A sewage explosion forced families from their mobile homes in the town of St. Martins, Missouri
A Jefferson City crew responded to a complaint about a sewer line, and they used a jet truck. But the high pressure forced raw sewage to explode inside two homes.
Several inches of waste now coats the walls and floors.
"The smell was gagging, overwhelming. If you can picture 3 inches of crap floating around on the floor, that's what it is," homeowner Tom Ahler said.
"It's repulsive. It's disgusting. Something that no one should ever have to deal with," resident Tanya Eddy said.
To make matters worse, the families said workers with Jefferson City's wastewater treatment refused to come see the damage.
Instead, the men said they were given a brochure, titled, "What To Do In Case Of Sewer Backup." The homeowners said they were told to call the city's legal department.
The homeowners hired a cleaning company, but the job couldn't be finished because the interior plumbing is clogged.
Meanwhile, families are filing claims and finding other places to stay.

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I posted just a picture and maybe related on Monday, February 23, 2009

Suppose this is Not Funny... NSFH

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Scheme Factory said...
What a great gag!

How do I play this one on my boss?

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Use a jet presure truck on your city sewer system outside your boss's house.

The high pressure will force raw sewage to explode inside homes.

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Tattoo Jim said...
Just another example of how God hates mobil homes.

Tornado's and shit backup's... yep, God hates a mobil home.

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Hoax caller laughed after telling parents their son was dead

A hoax caller rocked back and forth with laughter seconds after phoning an unsuspecting father claiming his only child had "just been killed".
CCTV grab of Aaron Davie laughing after calling the parents of a boy to tell them their son had died in a hoax phone call
Aaron Davie was at a train station when a teenage boy approached him and asked if he could borrow his mobile phone to call his father for a lift home.
The 29-year-old, who had been out drinking, let the 15-year-old make the call but moments after he had wandered off, he pressed redial and delivered the cruel message.
After hanging up he was captured on CCTV collapsing in a fit of laughter as he swigged from a can of beer at Aston train station in Birmingham.
Prosecutor Jonathan Purser told Birmingham Magistrates' Court that Davie rang the youngster's father and said: "'Have you just been speaking to your son?'
Mr Purser added: "He said 'yes I have'. The man's voice then said 'he's just been killed' and the phone went dead."
Speaking outside court, the boy's parents said they had been terrified after the "cold and matter-of fact" call and rushed to the station in search of their son.
The boy's 50-year-old father said: "I nearly sunk to the floor. It was the worst 40 minutes of my life. I don't know how I functioned."
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Scheme Factory said...
I don't know why the boy's father didn't get the joke,- you Brits have no sense of humor.

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Tattoo Jim said...
Some body is going to hate life when the "payback" time comes...

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So you're saying "what goes around comes around" and "payback will be a bitch"

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Booze Bust Nets 1,382 Beer Cans On Boat On The High Seas.
Brunei's customs officers arrested two men who tried to smuggle 1,382 cans of contraband beer by boat into the Muslim-majority country, a news report said Wednesday.
The men entered Brunei's waters from a neighboring nation Tuesday but tried to flee when they realized they had been spotted, the Borneo Bulletin newspaper reported. It did not identify the neighboring country, but Brunei shares borders with two Malaysian states on Borneo island.
Customs authorities foiled the escape after a high-speed chase, making their biggest seizure of alcohol this year, the report added.
Brunei's laws ban the public sale and consumption of alcohol, though non-Muslim visitors are allowed to bring in limited amounts for private consumption.
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Two Arizona Teens Ran Prostitution Ring.
Two teenaged girls were arrested for allegedly pimping other students for prostitution, Phoenix police said.
Jazmine Finley and Tatiana Tye, both 16, allegedly used contacts from local schools and their friends to lure other young girls into prostitution.
Investigators said the suspects recruited at least five girls, ages 14 to 17.
Finley and Tye, who were allegedly involved in prostitution themselves, were responsible for recruiting, teaching and receiving money from the other girls who worked for them, police said.
At one point, the two rented an apartment where they conducted the prostitution operation, according to investigators.
The Phoenix Police Vice Unit began investigating when patrol officers gave detectives information on child prostitutes working the west Phoenix area.
The teens were charged with multiple counts of child prostitution, pandering and receiving the earnings of a prostitute.
Police said there may be additional arrests as they continue the investigation.
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Tattoo Jim said...
I'll bet those two teen girls passed their economics class with flying colors.

Where were they when I was 16??? Damn!!!!!

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They were not born yet.

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Unwanted hug arrest
The Hernando County Sheriff's Office in Florida says they arrested a Brooksville woman for giving an unwanted hug.
Deputies say they responded to the home of Lori Smith and Kevin Connelly shortly after midnight Monday. When they got there, deputies say Lori told them she tried to hug Kevin twice, however he pushed her away because he did not wish to be hugged. Kevin claims Lori grabbed him several times, so he threw her on the bed to get away from her.
Deputies say due to the fact Kevin did not wish to be touched and Lori continued to hug him, she was taken into custody for one count of Domestic Battery.
PICTURE and More
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Topless 'Over-18' Café
Cup size has more than one meaning at a new central Maine coffeehouse.
Servers are topless at the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop, which opened its doors Monday on a busy road in Vassalboro. A sign outside says, "Over 18 only." Another says, "No cameras, no touching, cash only."
On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women and couples have stopped by.
The coffee shop raised the ire of dozens of residents when it went before the town planning board last month. Town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law.
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Dentist Says Groping Was Part of Treatment
The attorney for a Woodland California dentist told jurors that his client massaged women's chests as part of a medical treatment.
Defense attorney Michael Rothschild told the six-man, six-woman Yolo County jury that Mark Anderson was treating his female clients for temporomandibular disorder, or TMD. The attorney says the condition affects the muscles of the upper body.
Anderson faces 19 felony charges for skin-to-skin contact and one misdemeanor for touching a patient's breasts over her clothing. The incidents occurred between February 2005 and his arrest in August 2007 and brought complaints from 14 women.
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