Monday, January 19, 2009

You failed

"My dick" is not an acceptable answer.



Fifteen pacifiers found in dog's stomach

Veterinarians in Warson Woods, Mo., say they found 15 pacifiers, a bottle cap and a piece of a basketball in a 2-year-old bulldog named Lulu.
Lulu's owners, David and Jennifer Swart, said their 18-month-old daughter's pacifiers kept disappearing and they kept buying more.
When Lulu showed an interest in the pacifiers, they took her to the vet, who performed surgery last month after X-rays revealed an unusual gray area in Lulu's stomach, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported Sunday.
The vets saved the pacifiers, some of which had turned black from Lulu's stomach acid, to show the Swarts.
Lulu's $808 surgery cost was covered by Veterinary Pet Insurance, a California insurer that declared Lulu's case its most unusual for December after reviewing claims for dogs who ate nails, a packaged fire log, a whole turkey and several wigs.

What Pedigree dogs turning into

Pedigree dogs are becoming stupid as we breed them for looks, not brains
Pedigree dogs have become increasingly stupid as they are now bred for their looks, not their brains, according to new research.
Their mental and physical agility of many breeds is being eroded as owners now look for docile, pretty pets to live in their homes.
In the 19th century dogs were more likely to be selected for their strength and skills, so they were able to earn their keep guarding homes and livestock and fetching the quarry on a hunting trip.
But a significant change in breeding trends has meant the ancestors of these proud working dogs are now less responsive to commands and not as alert or attentive.
Scientists in Sweden have found strong evidence that breeding for appearance has led to a decline in intelligence.

Dog enjoys a good vacuum


Family that does it together goes to jail

Police in St. Petersburg Florida today reunited armed robbery suspect Jaqueal Edward Harris and his parents. They arrested James and Evette Harris on charges of armed robbery, accusing the couple of driving their son to a convenience store that he's accused of holding up at gunpoint last year. Jaqueal Harris, 18, has been in the county jail since Saturday, held on numerous felony charges.
Photo: From left, top:
James and Evette Harris; bottom, Jaqueal Edward Harris, Timothy Cornell Gipson Jr.
Cops arrested James and Evette Harris on charges of armed robbery, accusing the couple of driving their son to a convenience store that he's accused of holding up at gunpoint last year.
The son, Jaqueal Harris, 18, has been in the county jail since Saturday, held on numerous felony charges.
Cops say the parents drove Harris and three acquaintances to the Sunshine Foods convenience store where a robbery involving a gun took place.
Not only did the parents hang around while their son helped rob the store, but they gave the alleged robbers a ride after the robbery, the cops say.
Then Jaqueal Harris paid his parents for their help using the stolen cash, police say.
But here's the really happy ending.
The kid and his parents have been reunited. In jail

Did You Know.......

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50000 Volt Accident

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Man Dies After Being Bound With Duct Tape
Maryland State police say a Salisbury man died after he was bound with duct tape during a home invasion.
State police say Brookes Harmon, 27, was bound after three masked men forced their way into his home just before midnight Friday and ordered everyone else into a backroom. State police say Harmon was found unresponsive after the men left about 20 minutes and he was later pronounced dead at Peninsula Regional Medical Center.
State police said his body was taken to Baltimore for an autopsy.
Military Survival Training Exercise
Cheered on by baying soldiers, a British Army officer BITES the head off a live chicken in a sickening training exercise filmed by his own men.
Shamefully the senior lieutenant serving in Iraq then KICKS its wildly-flailing body, spits out the head, and shouts "f***er" at the dying bird.
Holding the struggling hen by the feet and neck, the Warrant Officer Class 2 puts its head in his mouth and, tearing violently with his teeth, rips it off.
After spitting twice to clear his mouth of blood and feathers he gives a wry smile to the camera as a comrade calls for: "A round of applause."
When we contacted the Ministry of Defense, they said: "The incidents shown in the videos were part of an exercise in survival training."
VIDEO and More

Man Threatens to Kill Wife With Chainsaw
Arrest reports say a Tampa Florida man is accused of threatening to kill his wife with a chainsaw.
The report said 41-year-old Ubaldo Gonzalez was arrested early Saturday morning after a fight with his wife. He allegedly started a chainsaw during the argument and threatened to kill her. When she ran into her children's bedroom and locked the door, he kicked the door open and "physically assaulted her," according to the arrest affidavit.
The woman told police he also pulled her hair.
Teen jailed, accused of throwing taco at mom
A dispute that began when a Deltona woman unplugged her son's video game ended with the son in jail, accused of shoving his mother and throwing a taco at her, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said.
Dena Moir, 54, told deputy sheriffs she called her 19-year-old son Zachary several times to come downstairs for dinner Tuesday. When he didn't respond, she went upstairs and unplugged his Xbox. She told deputies her son pushed her, called her names and ordered her out of his room.
The woman said she was cleaning the kitchen when her son came down to eat and that she pushed him to the side because he was in her way. At that point, deputies said, the man smacked his mother on the left arm, called her more offensive names and threw his taco in her face.
The teenager is being held without bail in the Volusia County Branch Jail, charged with domestic violence battery.
Woman Attempts To Rob Three Pharmacies
A woman was accused of trying to rob three different pharmacies in Orlando Florida Sunday night.
Investigators said the woman, whose name has not been released, first tried to rob a Publix pharmacy on Edgewater Drive near Princeton Street
She told workers she had a gun and demanded Oxycodon, but left empty handed. Then, police said employees caught her behind the counter of a nearby CVS pharmacy.
The woman was arrested at a Walgreens down the street from the CVS.
Woman Arrested After Child Talks To Police
A Fort Pierce Florida woman ended up in jail because of a little girl with a big mouth.
Police went to the home of 22-year-old Tawanna Davis on Friday to serve warrants for assault, harassing phone calls and violation probation carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. Officers say two men and a woman at the house told officers that Davis had left, but then a 4-year-old child approached one of the officers and revealed that Davis was under a bed.
Officers found Davis exactly where the child said she would be.
She was arrested and being held without bail.
Woman Attacks Man With Bagel
Authorities say a St. Petersburg Florida woman was charged with battery after hitting a man in the head with a bagel.
Police say 28-year-old Cassady C. Catolico was violating a temporary injunction filed last week by even going to see the victim early Sunday morning. She was also on probation from a 2006 criminal mischief case.
Catolico was arrested and being held on $10,650 bail.
Woman allegedly used part of tampon to snort cocaine
A Fort Pierce woman who reportedly used part of a tampon to snort cocaine was arrested after sheriff's investigators found some of the powdery drug along with marijuana in her vehicle, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.
A deputy on patrol stopped Elisha L. Yanulaque, 18, in a gold vehicle that also was occupied by a boy. Sheraton Plaza residents have complained about kids smoking pot in the park and drinking during school hours.
A deputy smelled marijuana coming from the vehicle, and the 17-year-old boy, said he and Yanulaque, of the 700 block of Binney Drive, "hang out" during school hours at the park.
Investigators found marijuana in the vehicle and a white plastic tube with cocaine inside.
She said she used the "straw" that she got from a tampon in the past to snort cocaine, the affidavit said.
Yanulaque faces charges including possession of cocaine, possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana and possession of narcotics equipment.
Florida settles suit: $1 to each driver, $2.85 million to lawyers
Facing a $3.5 billion deficit next year, Florida desperately needs all the money it can get. But millions more will disappear because the state has settled a lawsuit that affects millions of motorists.
The Legislature will spend $10.4 million to settle a class action lawsuit over allegations that the state illegally sold drivers’ personal information to marketing firms over a four-year period in violation of a federal law barring the practice. The state made $27 million each year on the deal, according to the lawsuit.
The settlement to drivers?
Drivers who held a license, car registration or state-issued ID from June 1, 2000, through Sept. 30, 2004, will get a one-time credit of $1 when they register or renew a registration between July 1, 2009, and June 30, 2010.
"Just one dollar?" Sen. Gary Siplin, D-Orlando, asked in a committee hearing on the settlement.
The four South Florida motorists who sued will get $3,000 each, and five law firms that pursued the case for more than six years will divide $2.85-million in legal fees, which is separate from credits paid to consumers.
Cold snap causes iguanas to fall from trees
The chilly weather in southern Naples Florida this week was cold enough to force some iguanas to fall from trees.
Experts say the cold-blooded reptiles go into a deep sleep when the temperature falls into the 40s. Their bodies basically shut off and they lose their grip on the tree.
According to Collier County Domestic Animal Services control supervisor Dana Alger, iguana reports traditionally rise when temperatures drop, as the reptiles seek to warm themselves on asphalt surfaces such as sidewalks, roads and driveways.
Most of the iguanas were once pets that got released when they got too big. The reptiles can grow up to six feet long.