Friday, September 19, 2008

Just How Dumb Can People Be

We all have to fail sometimes.
But there's something glorious about failing with style.
A new book, “The best test paper blunders” give some great examples of exam answers from the most clueless - and inventive - of students. Some are very nearly right ("What happens to your body when taking a breath? Your chest gets bigger"), but some are very wrong indeed (Is the moon or the sun more important? The moon gives us sight at night when we need it. The sun only provides light in the day when we don't. Therefore the moon is more important). Laugh...and weep for the state of education!

1) Classical Studies
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin
2) Biology
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie
3) General Studies
Question: Jeff has been asked to collect data about the amount of television his friends watch. Think of an appropriate question he could ask them.
Answer: How much TV do you watch?
4) Classical Studies
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones
5) Biology
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death
6) Geography
Question: What are the Pyramids?
Answer: The Pyramids are a large mountain range which splits France and Spain
7) Biology
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television
8) English
Question: In Pride and Prejudice, at what moment does Elizabeth Bennet realize her true feelings for Mr Darcy?
Answer: When she sees him coming out of the lake.
9) Geography
Question: What do we call a person forced to leave their home perhaps by a natural disaster or war, without having another home to go to.
Answer: Homeless
10) Religious Studies
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony
11) Biology
Question: In the Hawaiian Islands, there are around 500 different species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this
Answer: There are approximately 500 varieties of fruit
12) Physics
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels
Answer: Fire
13) Geography
Question: Define the term "intensive farming".
Answer: It is when a farmer never has a day off.
14) Maths
Question: Change 7/8 to a decimal
Answer: 7.8
15) Geography
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar
16) General Studies
Question: Redundancy is often an unpleasant and unexpected event in someone's life. Give two examples of unexpected life events.
Answer: 1) death 2) Reincarnation
17) History
Question: What was introduced in the Children's Charter of 1908?
Answer: Children
18) Business Studies
Question: Explain the word "wholesaler".
Answer: Someone who sells you whole items - eg, a whole cake
19) Geography
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria
20) Geography
Question: What artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas?
Answer: The Sewage Canal
21) Geography
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse
22) Maths
Question: Expand 2 (x + y)
Answer: 2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
23) Business Studies
Question: Assess Fashion House pls's choice to locate its factory near Birmingham. Is Birmingham the right location for this type of business?
Answer: No. People from Birmingham aren't very fashionable.
24) History
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.
25) History
Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Answer: Unusual names.

No Undie Sundie

Read About It Here

Just too damn funny

It’s a Vagina Tissue Cover.

Forgive me for asking, but hasn't this pattern been around a long time?
Seems like I have seen this before...a long time a galaxy fur, fur away.

He can't say he didn't see that coming

Click on picture to see it in action.

Woman Suffers Orgasm-Related Stroke

Rare Sex-Related Strokes Occur When Several Risk Factors Converge
Sex triggered a life-threatening stroke in a healthy 35-year-old Illinois woman, her doctors report.

Sex- and orgasm-triggered strokes in relatively young women and men are rare, but not unheard of. They require a combination of factors and events not unusual in themselves, but which are highly unlikely to occur at the same time.

The 35-year-old woman's symptoms were typical of this unusual kind of "cryptogenic" stroke, says Jose Biller, MD, professor and chair of the neurology department at Loyola University, Chicago.

"This young woman ... while having intercourse had numbness on the left side of her face, slurred speech, and weakness in her left arm," Biller tells WebMD. "When she was transferred to our care six hours after onset, she was completely unable to move her left arm, her face was paralyzed, her speech was garbled, and she was in a state of panic."

It was too late to inject the woman with the clot-busting drug tPA, which must be given within three hours of a stroke. So Biller's team quickly ran a catheter from an artery in the woman's groin up into her brain to find the blood clot by angiography. Once it was found, they had only one option: to apply tPA directly to the clot.

Driver Stupidity

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Woman Faces Federal Jail Time Over Spilled Soda
An Idaho woman is facing federal charges and possible jail time after refusing to pay for a soda and then spilling it on a counter in a case she calls a waste of taxpayer's money.
U.S. Attorney Tom Moss plans to bring two charges against Natalie Walters, 39, stemming from an Aug. 20 incident at the Boise Veterans Affairs Medical Center. If convicted, she could face up to six months in federal prison.
Walters, who routinely takes her father to the Boise hospital for treatment, said there is no posted price for soda refills at the center's cafeteria, and she's typically charged between $1 and $1.50 for filling her mug, but on Aug. 20, she was charged $3.80, which lead to the dispute and Walters dumping the soda on the cafeteria counter.
"My father is a veteran. It is a federal facility for veterans. This should have been handled differently," she told the paper. "This is extreme. This is totally extreme. Well, if they have that much time on their hands, go for it."
Restroom Cleaner Gets Golden Plunger Award
Steve Oswald isn't getting back the $156.94 he charged the city for cleaning a public restroom. However, he did get the attention of city officials who promised to take better care of the restroom — and honored his efforts Tuesday with the Golden Plunger Award.
Oswald, 45, said he didn't expect to be reimbursed after billing the west Michigan tourist town for the work he did last month. But he did say he appreciated the award, a toilet plunger spray-painted gold and set on an oak stand.
WZZM-TV in Grand Rapids reports the city has replaced some of the fixtures in the bathroom and will hire a cleaning company to keep it tidy.
Mayor Tony Vettori was quoted by The Grand Rapids Press as saying he was glad Oswald "lifted the lid on this problem."
NO Miniskirts
Uganda's ethics and integrity minister says miniskirts should be banned - because women wearing them distract drivers and cause traffic accidents.
Nsaba Buturo told journalists in Kampala that wearing a miniskirt was like walking naked in the streets.
"What's wrong with a miniskirt? You can cause an accident because some of our people are weak mentally," he said.
Journalists found the minister's comments extremely funny.
Picture and More
Police dog saved thief from river who tried to escape.
Glen Lyon, 25, was spotted acting suspiciously near houses in Aberdeen. He was chased before jumping into the Don, where he was dragged to safety.
Lyon admitted intent to steal, and to attempting to pervert the course of justice. Sentence was deferred for four months for good behavior.
Aberdeen Sheriff Court heard officers chased Lyon from a property before he ran underneath a nearby bridge and jumped into the river.
He struggled to stay afloat, so a police dog was sent in after him.
The dog helped pull him through strong currents until he managed to grab a tree.
He was then pulled to the river bank by a female police officer who also jumped in to save him.
Picture and More
Coke dealer charges gas surtax
A Northwest Indiana man facing drug charges allegedly told a police informant he's charging customers an extra $25 because high gas prices have boosted his delivery expenses.
According to Porter County court records, 18-year-old Anthony Salinas of Hammond told a confidential source for the county's drug task force in June that with rising gas prices, he had to add the extra charge to the $215 he allegedly was charging for 7.2 grams of cocaine.
Salinas then raised the price to $250 for what turned out to be 7.5 grams that he delivered in Portage on June 26, records state.
Salinas promised the price would drop to $230 on the next deal, according to records. Porter County authorities charged Salinas with two counts of dealing cocaine on Sept. 8, but he was no longer in the Porter County Jail as of Wednesday. If convicted, he could face up to 100 years in prison.
Fox Video
Father Jailed after 11 Year Old Driver Crashes
A man finds himself in jail Tuesday after teaching his son how to drive a bit too soon.
28-year-old Derrick Johnson was teaching his 11-year-old son how to drive in the parking lot of an apartment complex when things went terribly wrong.
The young driver lost control of the automobile, hitting four cars and a man.
The man, Anthony Morgan was walking through the parking lot when he saw the car heading toward a one year old child. Morgan pushed the baby out of harms way, putting himself in danger. He was struck by the car, leaving him with back and neck injuries.
Both the father and son both fled the scene of the crime.
Johnson was found at the Stoneybrook Apartment complex in Riviera Beach. He was arrested on outstanding warrants as well as charges of fleeing the scene of a crash and child neglect.
The 11-year-old ran into the apartment complex and has not been found.
Employees Forced to Take Unpaid Week Off
In already tough times, employees of the Camden County Sheriff's Office are being told to make a big sacrifice.
Sheriff Bill Smith has said because of budget cuts all his 130 employees, including deputies, will be required to take five days unpaid vacation.
Tripp Casey is friends with several deputies and he has set up a fund to help.
"They help us everyday and aren't appreciated, we don't think about them until we need them," says Casey.
County Commissioner Steve Berry is one person responsible for trimming the Sheriff's budget, but he says the forced vacations could have been avoided.
Berry says Sheriff Smith has not cut costs in his office, doing things like reducing the number of highly paid administrators.
But now all Sheriff's Office staff is caught in the middle.
News Video

A Pissed Off Mine Kept His Mouth Shut.

TimO said...
A 'mine'?
Was he ready to explode?? ;-)