Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Man Remembers Woman’s Butt Weeks Later
An alleged bank robber was caught as she tried to raid the same branch twice - when a witness identified her by her big butt.
Police say Sandra Meiser, 26, got away with a £12,000 robbery in Norf, western Germany, after threatening bank staff with a gun.
Witnesses told officers that the raider was a woman with a "very large butt" and "powerful thighs".
Then weeks later one witness found himself behind what he believes to be the same butt as they stood in a queue at the same branch.
"He called the police and they arrested her and found her ski mask and hand gun in her jacket. He said he recognized her butt right away - he'd never forget something that big," said one bank worker.
Now Meiser is facing up to 10 years in jail on robbery and firearms charges while the 61-year-old witness has landed a £4,000 reward.
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Woman sets tow truck on fire
A Portland woman who allegedly set a tow truck on fire as the driver was preparing to take her car faces arson and criminal mischief charges. A twenty-year-old woman was arraigned last week.
Court papers said the tow truck driver went to a Portland apartment complex Tuesday to tow the illegally parked car and became surrounded by an angry crowd.
The driver offered to release the car for $150, but police said the woman threatened to set the truck on fire if he didn't release the car.
The driver locked himself in the cab and called 911 and was told soon after that his truck was ablaze. He put it out with a fire extinguisher.
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Drunk driver thanks the officers that stopped him.
Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.
A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me" after he was stopped early last Friday.
The complaint says he added, "I shouldn't have been driving and deserve to get caught."
According to the complaint filed in Sheboygan County Circuit Court, a Plymouth police officer saw Hyland's vehicle weaving and pulled him over.
After he failed field sobriety tests and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, or over the limit of 0.08 percent, he told officers he knew he had been drinking too much to drive.
The felony charge carries up to three years in prison.
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"Cops told me I look like a man"
A woman driver is furious after police said she looked like a man.
Short-haired Pauline Synnott, 59, was caught speeding and admitted it in a letter to cops.
She expected a £60 fine and three penalty points for doing 52mph in a 40mph zone. But cops who looked at the speed camera photo were convinced the driver was a man.
They wrote to Pauline’s partner Roy Watkins, 65, who owns the car, to confirm who was driving.
A letter to him read: "From the copy of the photograph it appears that the driver was a male."
"I am fuming and Pauline is very upset — any woman would be if they were told they look like a man. I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused."
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DAMN SHE'S ONE UGLY WOMAN
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Eleven-year-old Sent Home from School for Offensive Shirt
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
An Aurora, Wis., father says his 11-year-old should not have been sent home from school for wearing a "Barack Obama is a terrorist's best friend" shirt. Dann Dalton, a self-proclaimed "proud conservative," said administrators at Aurora Frontier K-8 School were biased against his son, Daxx.
"It's the public school system," Dalton said. "Let's be honest, it's full of liberal loons."
School administrators said Daxx Dalton chose the suspension over changing out of the home-made shirt or turning the garment inside out.
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
"They're taking away my right of freedom of speech," he said. "If I have the right to wear this shirt I'm going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I'm going to get suspended."
The elder Dalton said he plans to fight his son's punishment in court.
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SOUNDS LIKE HIS FATHER HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS HOMEMADE SHIRT.
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I’m Not Ready To Die Yet
Free Funeral Winner Has Not Claimed Prize. The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy.
The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in the southern Italian town of San Marco in Lamis.
The holder of the winning ticket in the raffle is entitled to a free lined coffin, a tombstone, copper candlesticks and a grave site.
There is no deadline for claiming the prize and the winner can give it to somebody else, raffle organizers said, according to the paper.
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$182,000 In Nickels Spill Onto Florida Interstate
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway.
A section of Interstate 95 was closed in Florida after a fatal truck crash spilled $182,000 worth of nickels onto the road, police said.
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway in Brevard County after a truck that was carrying the nickels to Miami from the U.S. mint in Philadelphia was involved in a side-swipe collision with another truck.
One of the two guards riding in the money truck was declared dead at the scene and the other guard was hospitalized. The driver of the second truck also was taken to a hospital for treatment.
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Judge Who Used Sex Device in Court Disbarred
The Oklahoma Supreme Court on Tuesday disbarred a former judge who served prison time for using a sexual device while presiding over trials.
Former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, 61, was accused of using a "penis pump" in court and convicted in June 2006 on four counts of indecent exposure.
Thompson was released in April after serving 20 months of a four-year prison term and has had to register as a sex offender. He was suspended from the bar association in late 2006.
The opinion written by Supreme Court Justice John Reif states that discipline less than disbarment has been imposed in cases involving felony convictions.
"However, the nature of the crimes in this matter led this Court to conclude that nothing less than disbarment is appropriate. The conduct was not isolated, having occurred over a fairly lengthy period of time and on four separate occasions," Reif wrote.
Thompson maintained during trial that the device was given to him as a gag gift by a hunting buddy and denied ever using it during trials. The Supreme Court said he never responded to requests for a hearing on his disbarment.
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Fans Complains About Skimpy Cheerleaders Uniforms
Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another make over after spectators complained that cheerleaders' uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.
After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.
"A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate," said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. "To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them."
The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.
"I'm not quite sure what will happen to them," he said.
The cheerleaders coach ordered the uniforms and paid for them with $4,200 from a spirit squad fund, part of which is drawn from student fees, Pitman said. The squad has ordered new uniforms with $2,200 in private money, he added.
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MORE MATERIAL IN CHEERLEADER UNIFORMS COST ALMOST HALF THE MONEY.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What do you expect it's in Bulgaria

It looked like a scene from a comedy show -
a bull attempts to mount a woman.
Unfortunately the cow, named Dana, will not get off so lightly after her antics - and will now become Christmas dinner for the woman's family.
Rositza, from the village of Krustatitsa in Bulgaria, said: "My cow has never done such a thing before and has left me battered and bruised.
"Worst of all - even the donkey was laughing at me."

What do you think guys is she hot or what?

Bill Clinton says he understands why Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin is popular with voters.

Girl gets owned with funnel prank

Thong Prank

With a pair of ordinary household scissors.

Cool videos

Close call for skater

Kid shows incredible skill going down a hill but, then wipes out - missing a car by inches.

The show must go on

A fire broke out during a live radio broadcast in Greece.
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I get paid for reading the news, not putting out fires or wait this is news

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

I’m Innocent
A Kirksville resident was arrested yesterday after being found watering 15 marijuana plants on private property north of the water treatment facility.
However, Dover says he was taking care of the plants for a friend and was unaware they were marijuana."A friend of mine asked me to water them," Dover said. "And me being stupid enough said yes."
When asked whom his friend was Dover stated, "I don’t want to turn nobody in."
Officials searched his residence located at 47 Doyle Way and found less than 35 grams of marijuana.
Dover stated those drugs weren’t his either.
"It was a baggy that was left in my shop," Dover said. "I guess I have too many friends in low places."
Dover was released on his own recognizance pending the filing of formal charges.
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'I'm holding for someone else Dad!.' Sound familiar?
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Seems funny he had drugs and growing them and then had drugs in his home. why is it he is not in jail on a 100,000 cash only bond like all the other druggies.. Oh wait, he was even released, he must be a supplier to someone in a higher up.
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Robber Leaves His Drivers License Behind
A man with a knife who tried to rob a convenience store this morning in West Penn Township, left behind his driver's license after the clerk refused to give him any money, police said.
Authorities are looking for John Maculloch, 23, of Danville, who apparently showed the clerk his real driver's license during the 7 a.m. robbery attempt, said Officer Melissa Johnson of township police.
Maculloch took out his ID at the Fegley convenience store, 551 W. Penn Pike, to show his proof of age when he asked to buy a pack of cigarettes, Johnson said. He then pulled out a knife and demanded money.
But the clerk refused, saying, "I cannot give you money without a sale." That answer seemed to confuse Maculloch, who eventually gave up and pushed the cigarettes back across the counter. He drove south on Route 309 in a gold-colored Chevrolet Cavalier, possibly headed to Northampton County.
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Why women need to drop their maiden name when they get married
A woman was stopped from boarding a budget jet — because her name was too long.
Ulrika Örtegren-Kärjenmäki would not fit on Ryanair’s boarding pass.
And dots on the letters invalidated it in security checks at Stansted Airport, Essex.
Furious Swede Ulrika, who was with her daughter, had to pay an extra £380 for a flight next day.
The same problem happened but an alternative pass was printed and she was allowed to fly home.
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It was the ultimate expression of road rage.
A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames.
Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator.
She spun the wheels so fast that her tires disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire.
Onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to "F*** off."
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Bruce the pig holds woman hostage
A pig named Bruce the size of a shetland pony held an elderly woman hostage in her home in eastern Australia. The domesticated hog ran amok on Caroline Hayes’s property at Uki in a regional area of northern NSW after wandering in from an adjacent rainforest where it had been left to live in the wild by its previous owners a few weeks ago. But by 4am (AEST) on Monday their friendship had soured when Bruce – a white boar pig weighing approximately 175 pounds. He began ramming Ms Hayes’s bedroom door, grunting loudly and demanding to be fed. He became so aggressive that the woman could not leave her bedroom in order to go to the outside toilet.
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Woman Delivers Baby on Lawn
All alone and in labor, Jessica Higgins found the first place she could to give birth — her front yard.
The 36-year-old was driving home from the mall Tuesday when little Mary Claire gave her the shock of a lifetime by deciding to arrive six weeks early.
Higgins — with her 2-year-old son sleeping in the back seat — called 911 as she arrived at her Fullerton home, but she had already pushed her daughter out when police arrived.
"She was just standing in the driveway rocking the newborn, who was still attached to the placenta," Officer Manny Ramos said Wednesday.
Higgins' husband, Jeff, arrived in time to cut the baby's umbilical cord under the front-yard ficus tree.
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You will think a neighbor would have seen or heard her screaming and came to help out.
But just think all the money was saved by DIY.
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Stolen Jamie Lynn Spears Breast-Feeding Photo
A stolen photo of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding her baby girl has sparked a federal pornography investigation.
Federal and local authorities are looking for someone peddling 12 photos of Jamie Lynn, her older sister Britney Spears, her infant daughter Maddie and the baby's father Casey Aldridge.
One of the pictures shows Jamie Lynn breast feeding Maddie, and the 17-year-old's left breast is exposed were taken on Aldridge's digital camera.
Aldridge took the camera card to his local Wal-Mart in Louisiana for copies, and law enforcement believes someone at the Wal-Mart may have made extra copies.
Because Jamie Lynn is a minor, selling the photos — or buying them — could constitute a violation of federal laws prohibiting pornography. Peddling pictures of a minor's breast — even if not taken for sexual purposes, could land the seller and buyer in federal prison if they are marketed across state lines for the purpose of being lurid.
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QUESTION: Since it was a photo of a underage female why wasn’t Casey Aldridge arrested for child porn or sexual abusing a minor?
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Mad Izatie said...
You would think that them being famous and well off that they would be smart enough to buy a photo printer but noooo they just had to develop the photos at Wal-Mart. They probably wanted to see whether if people were going to spread the photos. Idiots.

Monday, September 22, 2008

How To...

Man's way to open beer

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Woman's way to open beer

Just for Laughs.....

....Lady Farts at The Gym