Friday, November 7, 2008
You're Going To Get Screwed
In a small town the patrolman was making his evening rounds...
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were just sitting there in the car.
Are you trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed... so we're just waiting.
Workmen clear 100 TONS of rubbish from a home
It's been a while since Merv Jones tidied up or vacuumed.In fact, it's been so long that he might never have been able to find the Hoover amid the astonishing 100 tons of rubbish and bric-a-brac in his home - assuming he ever looked for it.
Every room in the terraced house was filled from floor to ceiling with junk. It was even piled up in the hall. Both front and back gardens were also a mess.
After years of complaints from neighbors, council officials finally moved in to empty the building in Grimsby, filling skip after skip.
The extraordinary array of bric-a-brac had been collected over decades by the 73-year-old, including old rifles, ammunition and swords, along with hundreds of more ordinary items, such as dolls, electrical equipment, toys, pictures, books and ornaments.
As well as all the junk, there was a great deal of household rubbish. Windows were broken, pigeons had moved into the loft and bait traps had to be laid for the rats.
Mr Jones was put up in a hotel while his house was emptied over three weeks. North-East Lincolnshire Council intends to reclaim the cost of the operation from him.
More Pictures and More
Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
Couple arrested for sex at Bills-Jets game
Security officers at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y., said a reported disturbance in a ladies' restroom turned out to be a couple having sex.
Police said Alicia Venneman, 29, was charged with disorderly conduct and her boyfriend, Jeramy Kemper, 31, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest after they were caught having sex in the women's bathroom across from Section 336 of the stadium during Sunday's game between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets.
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Man sees his stolen bike auctioned on eBay
A suburban Chicago man who saw his stolen bicycle for sale on eBay helped police arrest a suspect in the case, police said.
Jeremy Miller, 27, of Chicago, was charged with felony theft after detectives found 17 stolen bicycles in his home, the Chicago Tribune reported.
Police said Miller stole six bikes from a Northeast Illinois Regional Commuter Railroad stop in suburban Wilmette in October, and one of the victims notified police after he spotted his bike for sale on the eBay online auction and shopping Web site.
Police won the online bidding for the bike, and Miller was arrested at a shopping center in suburban Skokie, where he had gone to deliver the bike to undercover detectives.
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9-year-old attempts to drive to grandma's
A 9-year-old boy is in police custody after he took his family's car on a drive to visit his grandmother.
Police received a call at around 7:30 a.m. on Monday from a passerby saying there was a car driving along a prefectural road without anyone at the wheel. An officer subsequently found the boy sitting in the driver's seat of an automatic small car in a nearby convenience store parking lot.
"It's my first time driving, but I learned from watching dad and playing at the video arcade," he told police.
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It’s a panty raid
A man has proven that you can never have too much underwear when he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria's Secret store.
The man snatched $1,067 worth of underwear from a table at the Dallas store Monday.
A police report said a female accomplice held open the door during the theft and both sped away in a green car.
The report did not indicate what styles or sizes were stolen.
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Teen survives being compacted in recycling truck
Police in Milwaukee say a teenage boy has survived after being accidentally dumped into the back of a recycling truck and compacted.
Police say the 14-year-old ran away from a boot camp-style school for teens Monday and hid in a recycling bin filled with cardboard.
The bin was picked up by a Waste Management truck and dumped into the vehicle's rear compactor.
Waste Management spokeswoman Lynn Morgan says the truck continued on its collection route, compacting cardboard several times.
The boy wasn't discovered until the truck dumped its load at a recycling processing center.
He was semiconscious and was taken to a hospital, but police say his injuries aren't life-threatening.
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Bacon Wins and Fries Lost in Colorado Election
There was a tasty race for Colorado senate when voters got to choose between Bacon and Fries.
In the end, Bacon won.
Democrat incumbent Bob Bacon defeated Republican challenger Matt Fries on Tuesday 63 percent to 37 percent to represent the district that encompasses most of Larimer County in northern Colorado.
"I am so pleased that the voters appreciate the work that I have done," Bacon said
Bacon originally was elected to the seat in 2004 after serving three terms in the state House of Representatives. Fries is a long-time education advocate.
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Security officers at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y., said a reported disturbance in a ladies' restroom turned out to be a couple having sex.
Police said Alicia Venneman, 29, was charged with disorderly conduct and her boyfriend, Jeramy Kemper, 31, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest after they were caught having sex in the women's bathroom across from Section 336 of the stadium during Sunday's game between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets.
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Man sees his stolen bike auctioned on eBay
A suburban Chicago man who saw his stolen bicycle for sale on eBay helped police arrest a suspect in the case, police said.
Jeremy Miller, 27, of Chicago, was charged with felony theft after detectives found 17 stolen bicycles in his home, the Chicago Tribune reported.
Police said Miller stole six bikes from a Northeast Illinois Regional Commuter Railroad stop in suburban Wilmette in October, and one of the victims notified police after he spotted his bike for sale on the eBay online auction and shopping Web site.
Police won the online bidding for the bike, and Miller was arrested at a shopping center in suburban Skokie, where he had gone to deliver the bike to undercover detectives.
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9-year-old attempts to drive to grandma's
A 9-year-old boy is in police custody after he took his family's car on a drive to visit his grandmother.
Police received a call at around 7:30 a.m. on Monday from a passerby saying there was a car driving along a prefectural road without anyone at the wheel. An officer subsequently found the boy sitting in the driver's seat of an automatic small car in a nearby convenience store parking lot.
"It's my first time driving, but I learned from watching dad and playing at the video arcade," he told police.
.
It’s a panty raid
A man has proven that you can never have too much underwear when he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria's Secret store.
The man snatched $1,067 worth of underwear from a table at the Dallas store Monday.
A police report said a female accomplice held open the door during the theft and both sped away in a green car.
The report did not indicate what styles or sizes were stolen.
.
Teen survives being compacted in recycling truck
Police in Milwaukee say a teenage boy has survived after being accidentally dumped into the back of a recycling truck and compacted.
Police say the 14-year-old ran away from a boot camp-style school for teens Monday and hid in a recycling bin filled with cardboard.
The bin was picked up by a Waste Management truck and dumped into the vehicle's rear compactor.
Waste Management spokeswoman Lynn Morgan says the truck continued on its collection route, compacting cardboard several times.
The boy wasn't discovered until the truck dumped its load at a recycling processing center.
He was semiconscious and was taken to a hospital, but police say his injuries aren't life-threatening.
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Bacon Wins and Fries Lost in Colorado Election
There was a tasty race for Colorado senate when voters got to choose between Bacon and Fries.
In the end, Bacon won.
Democrat incumbent Bob Bacon defeated Republican challenger Matt Fries on Tuesday 63 percent to 37 percent to represent the district that encompasses most of Larimer County in northern Colorado.
"I am so pleased that the voters appreciate the work that I have done," Bacon said
Bacon originally was elected to the seat in 2004 after serving three terms in the state House of Representatives. Fries is a long-time education advocate.
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Why was Burger not in the running? He was taken off the palette.
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Man says he accidentally stole a car
A motorist confronted by a Alaska State Trooper said he was stunned when the officer told him the car had been stolen.
Charles J. Schultz explained that he was driving his Chevy Cavalier and everything was fine. That's when the trooper informed Schultz that he was actually behind the wheel of a Ford Escort.
Police charged Schultz with auto theft, felony driving under the influence and misdemeanor drugs misconduct. Police said the 27-year-old's blood-alcohol content was .166, more than twice the legal limit.
It all started when Fairbanks police received a report shortly after midnight Friday that a Ford Escort had been stolen from the parking lot of a gentlemen's club. An officer spotted the stolen Ford two hours later — with Schultz driving.
Schultz swore he had no memory of taking the wrong vehicle outside the club, according to a criminal complaint.
A motorist confronted by a Alaska State Trooper said he was stunned when the officer told him the car had been stolen.
Charles J. Schultz explained that he was driving his Chevy Cavalier and everything was fine. That's when the trooper informed Schultz that he was actually behind the wheel of a Ford Escort.
Police charged Schultz with auto theft, felony driving under the influence and misdemeanor drugs misconduct. Police said the 27-year-old's blood-alcohol content was .166, more than twice the legal limit.
It all started when Fairbanks police received a report shortly after midnight Friday that a Ford Escort had been stolen from the parking lot of a gentlemen's club. An officer spotted the stolen Ford two hours later — with Schultz driving.
Schultz swore he had no memory of taking the wrong vehicle outside the club, according to a criminal complaint.
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Cleaning cobwebs with blow torch "NOT GOOD"
Perhaps a broom would have been a better idea
A single-story home in Sargent was damaged by fire Wednesday morning after the homeowner accidentally set the fire while cleaning cobwebs from the eaves around the exterior of the residence with a blow torch.
Picture and More
Perhaps a broom would have been a better idea
A single-story home in Sargent was damaged by fire Wednesday morning after the homeowner accidentally set the fire while cleaning cobwebs from the eaves around the exterior of the residence with a blow torch.
Picture and More
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
Testicle Festival, Some Think It’s Nuts
Contestant Anthony Bell bites into a bull's testicle with his mouth at the Hunterville Huntaway Festival.The bulls' testicles were the curly bit for contestants in the Shepherd's Shermozzle in Hunterville at the weekend.
They had to fang into dry weetbix, scoff a raw egg and wash the lot down with a can of beer.
The beer probably also cushioned the taste of raw bulls' testicles, which had to be carted, by mouth, 50m to the next stage of the competition.
Winner Josh Masters said he'd never carried a bull's testicle in his teeth before, but it wasn't too bad it kinda tastes like chicken.
What sportsmen do to achieve success
Australian rugby player, John Hopawate, who was suspended from playing rugby in Australia for inserting his index finger up an opponents backside.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
Man Catches a Thief and.....
Police: we are too busy to help a shopkeeper who rang 999 four times
When a customer was spotted apparently stealing from his shop, Mark Ward knew the drill - apprehend the suspect, call the police and wait for help to arrive.
But after a two-hour wait in which he made a total of four 999 calls, the locksmith had no option but to bundle the man into his van and hand him over personally at the local police station.
During the increasingly desperate calls, Mr Ward was told that officers were too busy to respond and was furious to be advised at one stage: "You can let him go if you like."
Locksmith Mark Ward was forced to drive a suspected shoplifter to a police station himself when officers failed to respond to four 999 calls.
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Fox Attacked Jogger
After it had taken a bite, the fox was in no mood to let go
An Arizona jogger had an unwelcome companion on a recent run - a fox, hanging on to her arm by its teeth.
The rabid animal had attacked her foot and then as she grabbed its neck, it bit her arm and would not let go.
She ran a mile to her car, where she managed to free herself, wrap the fox in a shirt and throw it in the trunk of her car
It later bit an animal control officer and both jogger and vet received anti-rabies injections, and the fox was confirmed as carrying the disease.
"Although containing the animal for testing is beneficial, immediate treatment is always the priority."
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The things people keep in their car trunks
A 13ft trampoline, hundreds of bags of mints and a stag's skull complete with antlers are just some of the items people keep in cars, a government survey reveals.
Many motorists use their cars as mobile wardrobes, with men almost as likely as women to store shoes or clothes in their car boots. One woman from north- west England built up clutter in her car over two years, with items including a kettle, a sandwich-maker and two vacuum cleaners. Another car owner, a 25-year-old marketing executive, had unopened Christmas presents from two years earlier in her vehicle.
The Department for Transport survey showed that 10% of those polled could not remember the last time they cleared the clutter from their car. Main reasons for women having a clear-out were to give their vehicle a spring clean, while men were motivated by saving money by reducing their fuel consumption through lighter loads.
If all motorists adopted smarter driving techniques it would save 5.5 million tonnes of CO2 every year.
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Immigrants try to reach UK in a truckload of shopping carts
The six men, four Indians and two Afghans, were discovered hiding in a lorry full of shopping trolleys by UK Border Agency officials in Dunkerque, France. The officials searched the Polish-registered lorry before it was due to board a ferry to Dover.
The men were handed over to the French authorities. A UK Border Agency spokesman said: The UK Border Agency has hundreds of British immigration officers based at ports in France and Belgium, working to stop illegal immigrants before they get to the UK. "As well as visual checks of vehicles, officers also use heartbeat detectors, carbon dioxide machines and sniffer dogs to find well-hidden stowaways."
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Mother sent home with wrong baby
A Romanian woman who gave birth to a baby girl got home to find the hospital had given her a boy instead.
Cristina Zahariuc, 35, from Horlesti in Iasi county, only realized the mistake when she changed the baby's diaper.
She said: "The nurses brought me the baby in the clothes I gave them so I didn't suspect anything.
"Only when I got home and I invited some friends and the baby's godparents to see her did I notice my 'girl' had an penis. I was paralyzed."
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Police: we are too busy to help a shopkeeper who rang 999 four times
When a customer was spotted apparently stealing from his shop, Mark Ward knew the drill - apprehend the suspect, call the police and wait for help to arrive.
But after a two-hour wait in which he made a total of four 999 calls, the locksmith had no option but to bundle the man into his van and hand him over personally at the local police station.
During the increasingly desperate calls, Mr Ward was told that officers were too busy to respond and was furious to be advised at one stage: "You can let him go if you like."
Locksmith Mark Ward was forced to drive a suspected shoplifter to a police station himself when officers failed to respond to four 999 calls.
.
Fox Attacked Jogger
After it had taken a bite, the fox was in no mood to let go
An Arizona jogger had an unwelcome companion on a recent run - a fox, hanging on to her arm by its teeth.
The rabid animal had attacked her foot and then as she grabbed its neck, it bit her arm and would not let go.
She ran a mile to her car, where she managed to free herself, wrap the fox in a shirt and throw it in the trunk of her car
It later bit an animal control officer and both jogger and vet received anti-rabies injections, and the fox was confirmed as carrying the disease.
"Although containing the animal for testing is beneficial, immediate treatment is always the priority."
.
The things people keep in their car trunks
A 13ft trampoline, hundreds of bags of mints and a stag's skull complete with antlers are just some of the items people keep in cars, a government survey reveals.
Many motorists use their cars as mobile wardrobes, with men almost as likely as women to store shoes or clothes in their car boots. One woman from north- west England built up clutter in her car over two years, with items including a kettle, a sandwich-maker and two vacuum cleaners. Another car owner, a 25-year-old marketing executive, had unopened Christmas presents from two years earlier in her vehicle.
The Department for Transport survey showed that 10% of those polled could not remember the last time they cleared the clutter from their car. Main reasons for women having a clear-out were to give their vehicle a spring clean, while men were motivated by saving money by reducing their fuel consumption through lighter loads.
If all motorists adopted smarter driving techniques it would save 5.5 million tonnes of CO2 every year.
.
Immigrants try to reach UK in a truckload of shopping carts
The six men, four Indians and two Afghans, were discovered hiding in a lorry full of shopping trolleys by UK Border Agency officials in Dunkerque, France. The officials searched the Polish-registered lorry before it was due to board a ferry to Dover.
The men were handed over to the French authorities. A UK Border Agency spokesman said: The UK Border Agency has hundreds of British immigration officers based at ports in France and Belgium, working to stop illegal immigrants before they get to the UK. "As well as visual checks of vehicles, officers also use heartbeat detectors, carbon dioxide machines and sniffer dogs to find well-hidden stowaways."
.
Mother sent home with wrong baby
A Romanian woman who gave birth to a baby girl got home to find the hospital had given her a boy instead.
Cristina Zahariuc, 35, from Horlesti in Iasi county, only realized the mistake when she changed the baby's diaper.
She said: "The nurses brought me the baby in the clothes I gave them so I didn't suspect anything.
"Only when I got home and I invited some friends and the baby's godparents to see her did I notice my 'girl' had an penis. I was paralyzed."
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FLORIDA NEWS
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Man receives unwanted "male enhancement pump"
Lots of guys dream of living large.
But, no, this guy really didn't order any "penis pump."
So now Port St. Lucie cops are investigating why some poor guy got stuck with one.
The 38-year-old guy told cops he got a package from ILF Inc. in New Mexico.
"He produced the plain brown opened package and it contained one male enhancement penis pump and invoice billed to and shipped to (the victim)," the report states.
The guy told investigators his debit card was charged $143.45 for the pump and two additional charges.
Police suspect the orders were placed via the Internet.
A police spokesman said the incident is a reminder to safeguard credit card and bank account numbers and other personal information.
"Who knows what could end up on your doorstep if you don't," he said.
Lots of guys dream of living large.
But, no, this guy really didn't order any "penis pump."
So now Port St. Lucie cops are investigating why some poor guy got stuck with one.
The 38-year-old guy told cops he got a package from ILF Inc. in New Mexico.
"He produced the plain brown opened package and it contained one male enhancement penis pump and invoice billed to and shipped to (the victim)," the report states.
The guy told investigators his debit card was charged $143.45 for the pump and two additional charges.
Police suspect the orders were placed via the Internet.
A police spokesman said the incident is a reminder to safeguard credit card and bank account numbers and other personal information.
"Who knows what could end up on your doorstep if you don't," he said.
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Cocaine defense doesn't save robber in a dress
Here's how it played out in a Dade City courtroom.
A defense attorney asks his client if he wears a dress.
"No," says Lendrick Harris.
High heels?
No again.
Harris of Tampa was on trial after being charged with robbery, carjacking and kidnapping after a man dressed as a woman robbed a bank in Zephyrhills.
Couldn't have been him, he told jurors.
Just like he told his defense attorney, he doesn't wear women's clothes.
Oh, and at the time of the robbery, he was selling cocaine in Tampa's Grant Park.
Good try by his defense attorney.
But Harris was still found guilty on all charges.
Among the evidence: The dress left in the Grand Marquis had Harris' DNA on it.
Ditto, a wig.
And this: a picture of Harris' daughter.
Here's how it played out in a Dade City courtroom.
A defense attorney asks his client if he wears a dress.
"No," says Lendrick Harris.
High heels?
No again.
Harris of Tampa was on trial after being charged with robbery, carjacking and kidnapping after a man dressed as a woman robbed a bank in Zephyrhills.
Couldn't have been him, he told jurors.
Just like he told his defense attorney, he doesn't wear women's clothes.
Oh, and at the time of the robbery, he was selling cocaine in Tampa's Grant Park.
Good try by his defense attorney.
But Harris was still found guilty on all charges.
Among the evidence: The dress left in the Grand Marquis had Harris' DNA on it.
Ditto, a wig.
And this: a picture of Harris' daughter.
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Woman hides crack pipe in her buttocks
She's got a crack pipe in her crack.
There's just no other way to describe it.
A corrections officer found the glass crack pipe between the Palm City woman's buttocks while she was being processed on an auto burglary charge.
Evelyn E. Russo, 38, of Palm City, got in trouble because she's accused of trying to get into a car that wasn't hers and asking for money for a ride.
Ordered to get out of the car, she did. And took $2 from the car, according to the cop report.
A cop caught up with Russo, who had flagged down a motorist who gave her a ride. She was charged with auto burglary and introducing contraband into a detention facility.
But she's got one smokin' butt.
She's got a crack pipe in her crack.
There's just no other way to describe it.
A corrections officer found the glass crack pipe between the Palm City woman's buttocks while she was being processed on an auto burglary charge.
Evelyn E. Russo, 38, of Palm City, got in trouble because she's accused of trying to get into a car that wasn't hers and asking for money for a ride.
Ordered to get out of the car, she did. And took $2 from the car, according to the cop report.
A cop caught up with Russo, who had flagged down a motorist who gave her a ride. She was charged with auto burglary and introducing contraband into a detention facility.
But she's got one smokin' butt.
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DUI suspect gives booze to homeless man
For one homeless guy, Christmas came early.
He wound up with a bottle of holiday cheer -- Absolut vodka.
He was panhandling around Ocala when one car rear-ended another.
He said he offered to push the woman's car off the side of the road.
And then she invited him into the car and asked if he wanted the bottle of vodka, he told the cops.
The woman told him to take the vodka because she didn't want to get in trouble, according to the cop report.
The woman was charged with DUI and taken to the Marion County Jail for a breath test, which she flunked.
For one homeless guy, Christmas came early.
He wound up with a bottle of holiday cheer -- Absolut vodka.
He was panhandling around Ocala when one car rear-ended another.
He said he offered to push the woman's car off the side of the road.
And then she invited him into the car and asked if he wanted the bottle of vodka, he told the cops.
The woman told him to take the vodka because she didn't want to get in trouble, according to the cop report.
The woman was charged with DUI and taken to the Marion County Jail for a breath test, which she flunked.
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WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO COMMIT A CRIME?
Some people say you never get caught if you break the law next to a police station.
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Police investigate robbery at a Cedar Falls bank
Police are investigating a robbery of a downtown Lincoln Bank this morning. Police said the robber walked into the Lincoln Savings Bank branch, 301 Washington St., at about 9:18 a.m. The branch is a half block from police headquarters.
Police are investigating a robbery of a downtown Lincoln Bank this morning. Police said the robber walked into the Lincoln Savings Bank branch, 301 Washington St., at about 9:18 a.m. The branch is a half block from police headquarters.
No injuries were reported. Police would not confirm whether or not the suspect had a weapon, but no shots were fired, Police Lt. Mike McCallum said. Police had the sidewalk in front of the bank cordoned off. The bank is closed at this time.
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