"BIG" Baby
"BIGGER" Baby
Friday, June 22, 2007
Pepsi and Cannibals
There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down.
A few days later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The chief says, "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the chief replied,"We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi." The rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi".
After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you know... eat their.... things"? The chief says, "No." "No" asked the rescuers." NO", replied the chief, "THINGS go better with COKE!"
A few days later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The chief says, "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the chief replied,"We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi." The rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi".
After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you know... eat their.... things"? The chief says, "No." "No" asked the rescuers." NO", replied the chief, "THINGS go better with COKE!"
Alcohol and porn ban for Aborigines
Australia plans to ban alcohol and pornography on Aboriginal land to curb a "national emergency" in child abuse, prime minister John Howard has said. The bold measures to tighten controls over remote indigenous communities would also include strict new limits on welfare payments. Mr Howard's announcement comes after a report from officials in Australia's Northern Territory found high instances of child abuse in Aboriginal communities. "This is a national emergency", Mr Howard told parliament. "We're dealing a group of young Australians for whom the concept of childhood innocence has never been present." "Exceptional measures are required to deal with an exceptionally tragic situation." Under the proposal, the sale, possession and transportation of alcohol would be banned in Aboriginal communities for six months, while every Aboriginal child under the age of 16 would undergo a medical check. Extra police would be deployed and pornography outlawed, with computers searched for x-rated images. There's a news video on this page.
Getting "Stoned" at Work
Chief: Firefighters would fail drug test after battling blaze that claimed ton of marijuana
EDINBURG, Texas (AP) --- Firefighters who spent half an hour fighting a blaze in which 2,000 pounds of marijuana went up in smoke breathed so much of it that they would have failed a drug test, a fire chief said. It took more than 35 firefighters, 1,000 gallons of water and five gallons of chemical suppressant to extinguish the warehouse blaze on Wednesday, Fire Chief Shawn Snider said. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents were investigating the origin of the drugs. The Hidalgo County fire marshal was investigating whether arson was the cause. Snider said Thursday the firefighters were exposed to so much marijuana smoke that they would not be able to pass a drug test, despite wearing air packs to prevent them from inhaling toxic or hazardous fumes.
EDINBURG, Texas (AP) --- Firefighters who spent half an hour fighting a blaze in which 2,000 pounds of marijuana went up in smoke breathed so much of it that they would have failed a drug test, a fire chief said. It took more than 35 firefighters, 1,000 gallons of water and five gallons of chemical suppressant to extinguish the warehouse blaze on Wednesday, Fire Chief Shawn Snider said. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents were investigating the origin of the drugs. The Hidalgo County fire marshal was investigating whether arson was the cause. Snider said Thursday the firefighters were exposed to so much marijuana smoke that they would not be able to pass a drug test, despite wearing air packs to prevent them from inhaling toxic or hazardous fumes.
Have you ever wonder why...
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why are Irishman and Chinaman; are one word but any other countries man is two words. Example: American Man, Japanese Man, Russian Man, Turkish Man, Canadian Man,
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why are Irishman and Chinaman; are one word but any other countries man is two words. Example: American Man, Japanese Man, Russian Man, Turkish Man, Canadian Man,
Joke
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30 pounds! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though; I thought I was going to drop dead the 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from f* 'skipping!"
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30 pounds! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though; I thought I was going to drop dead the 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from f* 'skipping!"
Subject: water vs. wine
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E-coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poo.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poo
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine/liquor and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poo
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine/liquor and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.
Lightweight Personal Forklift
You don’t need petrol or even electricity to move large items anymore. Simply get yourself a human-powered forklift instead. Providing you’ve had a good hearty breakfast, you’ll be able to shift up to 30kg in no time. The forklift is ridden just like a bicycle, while a winch is used to lift objects of your choosing. You can even drive backwards by cycling in reverse. Made by Soceadth, the emissions-free, environmentally friendly Cycle Forklift (CF-100KG) costs 199,500 yen (£814/$1615).
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