Would you be seen dead in this?

Psychedelic hearse
A businessman has given a hearse a psychedelic makeover in his bid to beat the recession.
Matthew Shuter told how he bought the 1989 Daimler after spotting a gap in the market for funky funerals.
He said: 'The Woodstock generation is now dying out. They really lived a colorful life - they wouldn't want to go to their funeral in a boring black hearse.
'It's a recession proof business opportunity for funky funerals.'
Mr Shuter, 54, from Somerset, now plans to auction the vehicle on eBay, at a reserve of £5,000 - and he claims people are already starting to show interest.
PICTURE

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OH SHIT!!! Did I do That?

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1,000-mile 'test drive'

It started out Thursday afternoon as a routine auto test drive from a West Springfield dealer, evolved into car theft and kidnapping along the Massachusetts Turnpike, and ended some 15 hours later and more than 1,000 miles away with a traffic stop in Janesville, Wisc.
Aleh Kot, 32, of West Springfield, was being held Friday in the Rock County Jail on charges of speeding, reckless driving and driving a vehicle without the owner’s permission. But that only tells part of the story.

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Caption This...........

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Vet Job! - NSFW

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Visitor charged with touching a sleeping student
A girl awoke before 6 a.m. in her room at the Beta Hall dorms to find Daniel Boliek, 18, in his boxer shorts, touching her roommate's face, said Lt. Meg Ross, a police spokeswoman.
The 5-foot-11, 223-pound Coral Springs resident, who is not a student, ran into the second-floor hallway, and the girl locked her door.
From the peephole, she saw Boliek take off his underwear and use his fingers to make a shooting motion at a female resident assistant.
The resident assistant called campus police. Officer Brinton George approached Boliek in the hallway and got "sucker punched" in the face, Ross said. The cop pepper-sprayed Boliek, but it had no effect.
Next, Boliek began fondling himself, Ross said. Then he bolted out of the dorms and several officers caught him outside and tackled him. Ross said Boliek was a guest of a male student who lives in the dorm.
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No Bond for Man Who Shot Daughter’s Boyfriend
An Apopka Florida man accused of shooting a teen that he caught having sex with his stepdaughter will not be allowed to bond out of jail. Wade Edwards is facing second-degree attempted murder charges after he caught the couple in the act.
The family of 18-year-old Julian Harp knows he's lucky to be alive.
“He could have told him to get out of his house instead of shooting him,” Harp’s brother Dmeric Collier said.
Thursday night, Wade Edwards arrived home to an unpleasant surprise. His 16-year-old stepdaughter daughter and Harp were having sex inside the family's Apopka home.
According to a police report, Edwards walked in on the two having sex. He left the girl's bedroom and Harp quickly threw on his clothes fearing something bad might happen.
Edwards walked into the room again, this time armed with .45-caliber handgun. Harp asked Edwards not to shoot, but police said he fired four times as he left the house.
Sex between a 16-year-old and an 18-year-old is legal in the state of Florida.
By law, an adult under 24 can legally have sex with a minor no younger than 16. That law is called the “close in age exemption."
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Man pepper-sprayed mother-in-law
Police in Juelsminde, Denmark said a man was so upset with his mother-in-law for refusing to leave that he squirt a can of pepper spray in her face.
Investigators said the 20-year-old Juelsminde man kicked his mother-in-law out of a party at his home Thursday and became angry when the woman returned, the Copenhagen Post reported Friday.
The man grabbed a canister of pepper spray and emptied it in the woman's face, police said. They said the he likely will face charges of violence and possessing an illegal weapon.
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Woman seeks divorce over nickname
A Saudi woman is seeking a divorce after discovering her husband had nicknamed her 'Guantanamo' on his mobile phone.
The woman made the discovery while examining the list of contacts in her husband's phone when he left it at home one day, the Al-Watan newspaper reports.
The Riyadh newspaper did not name the woman or her husband, who may live to regret comparing life with his wife with the US detention centre in Cuba. His wife has since decided to end their 17-year marriage and is seeking a divorce.
But the newspaper suggested she might settle for "substantial" financial compensation from her husband and stay married to him.
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Store For Druggies
Investigators in Jacksonville, Florida Says Emporium Sold Them 800 Ecstasy Pills.
Sharri Banks styles hair in her salon just a few doors down from Kudah's Ethnic Emporium on Lane Avenue, but she's never known what it sold.
Police said what Maria Richardson was selling out of her own store was more than weird -- it was illegal.
They said Richardson, who was arrested on drug charges, sold them 800 Ecstasy pills in June, and when they came in this week to bust her, they said that her store was like a "Wal-Mart for drug dealers."
Inside the store, investigators said they found a lot of things that appear normal from the outside. For instance, an ordinary soda can may have had drugs hidden inside it.
Police said they found a lot of scales used to weigh drugs, but they look like CD cases, matchbooks and iPods.
They said they also found crack pipes and the tools and mixing agents that dealers use to cut cocaine to get it ready for resale, and they said the store even sold the little baggies.
"I'm shocked," Banks said. It is even more upsetting is that the business is right next door to a day care.
Investigators said it's very possible children went into the store because the store also sold candy, soda and ice cream right next to crack pipes.
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For the "Large Ass" person

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Bear capture self in a car
A couple in the Colorado Mountain Estates subdivision near Florissant thought someone was trying to steal their car early Wednesday when the car alarm started blaring.
When Teller County Sheriff's Deputies responded at about 2:30 a.m., they discovered a young bear in the car.
The bear was as surprised to see the deputies as the deputies were to see the bear, said Mikel Baker, spokesperson for the Sheriff's Office.
According to Baker and Teller County Sheriff Kevin Dougherty, this bear — like so many others — was very smart and had learned how to open car doors.
But as the bear rummaged around the car causing extensive damage, the door closed and it couldn't figure how to get out.
Baker said that bears are extremely hungry as they prepare for hibernation. No food should be left in a car, she said, as bruins, with their keen sense of smell, will detect the food and try to get inside.
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Mom Arrested for Washing Kid's Mouth with Soap
A Florida couple is behind bars for some old school discipline
A Palm Bay woman and her boyfriend were arrested Monday for child abuse after the couple went old school to punish their 8-year-old daughter for swearing.
They washed her mouth out with soap.
We don't know about you, but we would petition President Obama and Congress to make it mandatory for every parent to carry a bar of Irish Spring in their back pockets with all the profanity kids’ use today.
Police claim Adriyanna Herdener and Wilfredo Rivera went too far by placing a bar of soap in the girl's mouth and letting it stay for 10 minutes. Herdener did not intervene in the discipline.
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What nerve!
A Brooklyn killer waltzed into court on Friday wearing a T-shirt with his victim's picture and the words "R.I.P. Love You Forever."
Gregory Morency's choice of attire shocked prosecutors, relatives and even his lawyer - but didn't sway the judge, who gave him 18 years in prison.
And his bizarre statement, thanking slain girlfriend Claribel Hernandez's family for "supporting" him, didn't go over too well.
"How dare you come in here wearing my sister on your chest?" Ray Hernandez shouted at Morency during the sentencing.
"You are a punk, you took my sister....Not even hell would be good enough for you."
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What comes around goes around
Man tries to euthanize dog -- dog's owner tries to euthanize man
After running over a dog on a rural road in McClellanville on Thursday morning, the driver of a pickup truck tried to "put the dog out of its misery" by whacking the animal with a machete and a hammer, authorities said.
The dog's owner heard the dog's plaintive yelping and ran out of his house, grabbed the machete and hammer and started waling away with the hammer, attacking the man who had been attacking his dog.
The driver was hospitalized with a skull fracture. The dog's owner is in jail, accused of trying to kill the driver. The dog, whose name is "Dingo," was hanging on for his life Thursday night.
"There are humane ways to euthanize an injured dog," said
Dr. Sarah Boyd, a veterinarian at Charleston Animal Society. Using a hammer and machete is not among them, she said.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Neighbors Thought Dead Man Was Halloween Display
Residents of a Southern California apartment complex say they saw a lifeless body slumped on a neighbor's patio, but didn't call police because they thought it was part of a Halloween display.
Mostafa Mahmoud Zayed had apparently been dead since Monday.
The 75-year-old Zayed was slumped over a chair on the third-floor balcony of his apartment with a single gunshot wound to the eye.
A Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department investigator says the case is an "apparent suicide."
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Prosecutors forced to drop criminal prosecution
The criminal case against five men accused of starting a bar brawl had to be dropped at Walsall Magistrates Court because the Crown Prosecution Service spent too long photocopying.
Six months after the charges were brought, the CPS had not completed the necessary paperwork because, it said, the person with photocopying responsibilities had been off work.
Magistrate Sue Arnold said the CPS' excuse that the person responsible was having an operation was "not acceptable".
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Funeral stopped for tests on body
Police in Essex stopped a hearse on the way to a crematorium so a pathologist could carry out tests on the corpse, it has been revealed.
Officers suspected Stuart Smith, 37, from Colchester, had been subjected to "excessive force" when he was arrested earlier this month.
A police spokesman said tests had not revealed evidence of assault and Mr. Stuart had died after a drug overdose.
One officer had been suspended while inquiries were carried out, he said.
As police were moving Mr. Smith's body from the hearse to a mortuary for tests his partner Nicola Lawson and their five children were waiting in Colchester Crematorium for the funeral service to start.
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Male Nipples - NSFW

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