Need to Laugh

Mexican Gas
Americans are flocking to Tijuana, Mexico, to fill up their cars because gas is 50 percent cheaper there.
Even better, the gas is free if you take two Mexicans home in your trunk.
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Man's Best Friend
Q: How can you prove that a dog is truly a man's best friend?
A: Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
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Price Increase
Dow Chemical is raising its prices on household items because of rising energy costs.
Big Oil immediately condemned the move, saying Dow is stealing their idea.
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Blondes
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a six-foot tall, 175-pound blonde with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna to have to explain it five times."
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Charges Dismissed
Yesterday in California, a judge ruled that Britney Spears will not be charged with driving over the foot of a member of the paparazzi last year.
Britney got off on a technicality; her toddler was driving at the time.