Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Drunken man fouls car seat, wipes himself with Bible
A man was arrested in the Vancouver suburb of Surrey after he defecated on the seat of a car, wiped himself off with a Bible and then sought refuge in a nearby police vehicle.
The 33-year-old intoxicated man was at a Halloween party Saturday night when he stumbled out the door and use another guest's car as a toilet.
The outraged partygoers began yelling at the man, who then climbed into a police vehicle, where he was bit by a service dog and then arrested.
.
Man blames diarrhea for indecent exposure charge
A Lehigh Acres man was arrested in Collier County Monday on charges of Indecent Exposure in Public after he allegedly exposed himself to two women in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
The incident occurred at 5420 Juliet Blvd. in Naples.
According to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report:
David Todd Napodano, 42, told investigators he was found naked in his van because he had “explosive diarrhea” and was using his underwear to clean himself.
The victims told investigators they were looking for their vehicle in the parking lot when they saw Napodano naked in his van and exposing him to them.
The underwear in question was located with stains, but the responding deputy determined the stains weren’t consistent with explosive diarrhea.
.
Man robs same bank 4 times
Investigators are searching for a man who has robbed the same South Florida bank four times in the past year. The suspect has targeted a Tamarac BankAtlantic so many times that during the last heist one of the tellers said, "He's here again." The alleged robber is heavyset and has with dreadlocks. He wears different clothes each time, but during Saturday's heist the suspect wore all-black clothes, gloves and a black hat.
Sheriff's investigators said the man ordered tellers to fill a plastic bag with cash, then casually walked out.
.
70 cases of brat pizzas stolen
Someone stole $3,400 worth of brat pizzas over the weekend from a frozen pizza processor in the Town of Holland, according to the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department.
The burglar broke into Luige’s Frozen Pizza, Inc., sometime between Friday afternoon and Monday morning. Employees reported that 20 bags of pizza spice were missing, along with 70 cases of brat pizzas.
.
DUI suspect to cop: 'Dude, I do this every night'
A northwest Indiana man was arrested near Portage for driving with a blood-alcohol level almost four times the state's legal limit of .08 percent.
"Dude, I do this every night; I'm straight up and not drunk!" Zachary R. Duis told an Indiana state trooper after he was pulled over, police said.
Duis, 24, of Portage, was arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. He was also wanted on two warrants out of Porter County for resisting law enforcement and furnishing alcohol to a minor, both misdemeanors.
About 2:20 a.m., the Porter County sheriff's department received a call about a 1995 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck driving erratically, state police said. A sheriff's deputy pulled the truck over.
Shortly thereafter, the trooper administer a field sobriety test which Duis failed field; and was taken to the Portage Police Department for a certified breath test, state police said.
.
Drunken man challenged lamppost to fight
Drunken 22-year-old David Robinson turned his anger on streetlights in Perth after passers-by refused to fight him.
David Robinson turned on the innocent streetlight after a number of walkers ignored his pleas to engage him in a stand-up fight.
As police officers watched, Robinson directed his anger at the lamppost and shouted at it to "come and have a go."
The bizarre incident was recounted at Perth Sheriff Court, where Robinson admitted breaching the peace and was ordered to carry out 80 hours community service.
The court was told that the police were on patrol in the early hours of the morning when they spotted Robinson shouting and swearing at passers-by. He challenged a passing stranger to a fight and it was clear to the officers as they got closer that Robinson was heavily under the influence of alcohol. "He must have been very drunk because when he ran out of passers-by he began to shout at the lampposts, similarly challenging them to 'have a go'."
.
Man calls 9-1-1, twice to report that someone stole his "weed"
A 21-year-old man who called 9-1-1 to report that his marijuana stash had been stolen was arrested earlier this week in Salem, the Marion County Sheriff's Office announced.
Emergency dispatchers received a call from Calvin Hoover of Salem about 12:52 a.m.
Hoover was angry, he told the 9-1-1 operator, because someone had broken into his truck -- parked at the Free Loader Tavern in Salem -- and stolen his Carhartt jacket, $400 in cash and less than an ounce of marijuana.
Sheriff's deputies responded to the tavern and to Hoover's home, but he could not be found.
About an hour later, Hoover called 9-1-1 again. This time he was driving, upset that authorities were not working harder to recover his stuff. The dispatcher had trouble understanding Hoover, who stopped several times to throw up.
Deputies soon found Hoover's truck in Southeast Salem. Hoover was walking about 100 feet away. He told deputies he was looking for the people who stole his "weed."
Hoover was arrested on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants and took him to the Marion County Jail.
Deputies took a theft report, and then warned Hoover, who does not have a medical marijuana card, that reporting the pot theft might not have been such a smart idea. If he had been caught with the pot, they said, he could have been charged with possession of a controlled substance.
.
Couple was told to drive 400 yards to recycle
A couple who tried to walk to their local recycling tip were turned away for health and safety reasons and told to make the 400 yard journey in their car instead.
David and Katie France thought they were being "doubly green" by taking their waste to the rubbish dump on foot.
But on arrival they were told it was unsafe for them to walk onto the site in case they got run over by a car.
Mr. France, 67, left his wife and the rubbish at the gate while he walked back home to get their car.
When he reached the depot he picked up his wife, loaded the vehicle with the recycling, drove onto the site and disposed of the rubbish before driving home.
Mr. France said: "It was farcical. I thought we were being doubly green by taking our recycling there on foot.
"But whatever good we did in recycling our waste was probably counteracted by the CO2 emissions we used up in our car."
.