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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Some Jokes
Another Dumb Blonde
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute…""Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Judge Judy
Judge to prostitute,’So when did you realize you were raped?’
Prostitute, wiping away tears: ‘When the check bounced.’
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Playing doctor…
Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute…""Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Judge Judy
Judge to prostitute,’So when did you realize you were raped?’
Prostitute, wiping away tears: ‘When the check bounced.’
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Playing doctor…
Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"
Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness
One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year's supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported on Monday.
Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.
The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.
"Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,"
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Crime Against A Child
A 4-year-old girl grabbed her grandmother's gun and shot herself at a Sam's Club store in Columbia, S.C., authorities said.
Police Department spokesman Brick Lewis said the child took the gun from her grandmother's purse Monday and shot herself in the chest.
He said the child's grandmother has a valid permit to carry a concealed weapon. She has not been charged with a crime.
Lewis said the child was rushed to a local hospital and was recovering after undergoing emergency surgery. Hospital officials wouldn't release her condition.
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Born Twice???
Baby With Rare Tumor Born Twice, Now Healthy 4-Week-Old
Little Macie McCartney was welcomed into the world not once — but twice.
Four months into Keri McCartney's pregnancy, doctors reportedly noticed a tumor growing on the baby's tail-bone.
Doctors discovered that the tumor was stealing blood from the fetus and weakening her heart. So, at 25 weeks, surgeons at Texas Children's Fetal Center cut into McCartney's abdomen in an effort to remove the life-threatening mass, according to a report.
"Prenatal surgery is still done in very few select areas in the United States," "And there are a limited number of medical conditions where prenatal surgery is indicated and this is one of them."
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On the Wrong Track...
A depressed man tried to end it all by getting run over by a train in Italy - but lay down on the wrong set of tracks.
Martin Rapos, 31, settled onto the rails at Deiva Marina waiting for the express train to Genoa to hit him at more than 100mph.
Instead he watched it tear past him at high speed on another set of tracks beside him.
The train driver spotted Slovakian-born Mr Rapos and called police who took him to hospital where he is being treated for depression.
A police spokesman said: "He had planned his suicide very carefully and knew exactly when the train was due - he just mixed up the tracks."
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Man Bites Cobra Back
In a case that has baffled Thai police, a 40-year-old man was found dead on Sunday with a badly bitten cobra carcass in his hands and a condom on his penis. Wiroj Banlen, 40, was found dead on the side of a dirt road near Lamsai village of Ayutthaya province at 07:00 on Sunday. A preliminary police autopsy revealed Wiroj had several snake bites on his right leg and cheeks.
The dead cobra found clenched in Wiroj's hands had also been bitten several times, and snake remnants were found in the dead man's teeth, suggesting a case of man-bites-snake in revenge. More puzzling for police investigating the case was the condom, which contained no semen, found on Wiroj's penis. Police speculated that Wiroj was removing his trousers when the cobra struck.
One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year's supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported on Monday.
Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.
The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.
"Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,"
.
Crime Against A Child
A 4-year-old girl grabbed her grandmother's gun and shot herself at a Sam's Club store in Columbia, S.C., authorities said.
Police Department spokesman Brick Lewis said the child took the gun from her grandmother's purse Monday and shot herself in the chest.
He said the child's grandmother has a valid permit to carry a concealed weapon. She has not been charged with a crime.
Lewis said the child was rushed to a local hospital and was recovering after undergoing emergency surgery. Hospital officials wouldn't release her condition.
.
Born Twice???
Baby With Rare Tumor Born Twice, Now Healthy 4-Week-Old
Little Macie McCartney was welcomed into the world not once — but twice.
Four months into Keri McCartney's pregnancy, doctors reportedly noticed a tumor growing on the baby's tail-bone.
Doctors discovered that the tumor was stealing blood from the fetus and weakening her heart. So, at 25 weeks, surgeons at Texas Children's Fetal Center cut into McCartney's abdomen in an effort to remove the life-threatening mass, according to a report.
"Prenatal surgery is still done in very few select areas in the United States," "And there are a limited number of medical conditions where prenatal surgery is indicated and this is one of them."
.
On the Wrong Track...
A depressed man tried to end it all by getting run over by a train in Italy - but lay down on the wrong set of tracks.
Martin Rapos, 31, settled onto the rails at Deiva Marina waiting for the express train to Genoa to hit him at more than 100mph.
Instead he watched it tear past him at high speed on another set of tracks beside him.
The train driver spotted Slovakian-born Mr Rapos and called police who took him to hospital where he is being treated for depression.
A police spokesman said: "He had planned his suicide very carefully and knew exactly when the train was due - he just mixed up the tracks."
.
Man Bites Cobra Back
In a case that has baffled Thai police, a 40-year-old man was found dead on Sunday with a badly bitten cobra carcass in his hands and a condom on his penis. Wiroj Banlen, 40, was found dead on the side of a dirt road near Lamsai village of Ayutthaya province at 07:00 on Sunday. A preliminary police autopsy revealed Wiroj had several snake bites on his right leg and cheeks.
The dead cobra found clenched in Wiroj's hands had also been bitten several times, and snake remnants were found in the dead man's teeth, suggesting a case of man-bites-snake in revenge. More puzzling for police investigating the case was the condom, which contained no semen, found on Wiroj's penis. Police speculated that Wiroj was removing his trousers when the cobra struck.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Giving H2S Gas to Stroke Victims
Stink bomb gas to give stroke victims new hope
The gas that provides millions of schoolchildren with hours of fun and gives stink bombs their revolting smell could soon provide doctors with new treatments for conditions ranging from strokes to chronic arthritis. Some researchers are even trying to use hydrogen sulphide - the source of rotten eggs' unpleasant odor - to put patients with strokes or serious injuries into a form of suspended animation to help them survive severe traumas. This research is now being backed by the US military, who believe it could help their surgeons cope with injuries suffered by soldiers in battle.
'Hydrogen sulphide is made in very low doses in the body and, far from doing harm, it has become clear that it can do a great deal of good,' said Dr John Wallace, a pharmacologist at the University of Calgary in Canada. 'It is found in the brain and is also thought to control blood pressure. It is quite pervasive, in fact.'Hydrogen sulphide is corrosive, foul-smelling, flammable and deadly in sufficient concentrations. A single breath can kill. Yet the gas has recently become a buzzword in scientific circles following discoveries that in tiny doses it plays a significant role in influencing some chemical pathways in the body.
The gas that provides millions of schoolchildren with hours of fun and gives stink bombs their revolting smell could soon provide doctors with new treatments for conditions ranging from strokes to chronic arthritis. Some researchers are even trying to use hydrogen sulphide - the source of rotten eggs' unpleasant odor - to put patients with strokes or serious injuries into a form of suspended animation to help them survive severe traumas. This research is now being backed by the US military, who believe it could help their surgeons cope with injuries suffered by soldiers in battle.
'Hydrogen sulphide is made in very low doses in the body and, far from doing harm, it has become clear that it can do a great deal of good,' said Dr John Wallace, a pharmacologist at the University of Calgary in Canada. 'It is found in the brain and is also thought to control blood pressure. It is quite pervasive, in fact.'Hydrogen sulphide is corrosive, foul-smelling, flammable and deadly in sufficient concentrations. A single breath can kill. Yet the gas has recently become a buzzword in scientific circles following discoveries that in tiny doses it plays a significant role in influencing some chemical pathways in the body.
Got the Munchies
In the west of Scotland, in the towns and villages surrounding Glasgow, there is a delicacy available in some of the fast-food outlets. It’s called the Munchy Box (sometimes just Munch Box) and it’s a sight to behold.
Best Gas Prices
With gas prices — and driver frustration — soaring, here are two Web sites that help track national prices and best value near you:.
AAA's Fuel Report — Web site tracks the daily national average price of unleaded gasoline.
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GasBuddy — Web site searches for the cheapest unleaded gas prices in your area.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed
Man jumps 10,000 feet from plane with camera but no parachute
A 29-year-old man body was found next to a house with a damaged roof, police said.
Sloan Carafello of Schenectady, who was observing on the flight, followed an instructor, student and videographer out the door, wearing no skydiving gear, officials said.
Police said they did not suspect foul play but would not elaborate.
Robert Rawlins, pilot and owner of the Duanesburg Skydiving Club, said he was flying the single-engine plane and had begun to close the door when Carafello jumped.
His body was found next to a house west of Albany.
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Child's Kiss of Deaf
This is a story about a kiss - an expression of love so potent from a little girl -- that it caused her mother not only to lose her hearing in one ear after a buss on the ear, but to be thrust into the pages of medical history. Yet it wasn't the sound of the smackaroo that damaged the hearing of Hicksville homemaker Gail Schwartzman, but a suction force that displaced the woman's eardrum, paralyzed a tiny trio of bones and left residual sounds in her head. Schwartzman's case will be the subject of a medical journal report within the coming weeks, outlining for the first time what the author calls "the kiss of deaf."
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Man masturbated while laughing at us
Police used a laser to measure exactly how far away a suspect was when witnesses said he masturbated and laughed at them.
The 44-year-old man is charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor.
Witnesses said he was standing just inside an opened second-story window of a residence on Wright Parkway, holding the organ in his hand and laughing, according to a police report.
When police went into the residence, the man was lying on a bed in the upstairs bedroom and said he was just preparing for a post-shower nap. His hair was not damp, though, police said, and it did not appear that he had recently showered.
The distance between the witnesses' doorstep and the man's bedroom window was 80 feet, an officer said after measuring it with a certified laser instrument.
The man later told a detective he was urinating out of his bedroom window.
A 29-year-old man body was found next to a house with a damaged roof, police said.
Sloan Carafello of Schenectady, who was observing on the flight, followed an instructor, student and videographer out the door, wearing no skydiving gear, officials said.
Police said they did not suspect foul play but would not elaborate.
Robert Rawlins, pilot and owner of the Duanesburg Skydiving Club, said he was flying the single-engine plane and had begun to close the door when Carafello jumped.
His body was found next to a house west of Albany.
.
Child's Kiss of Deaf
This is a story about a kiss - an expression of love so potent from a little girl -- that it caused her mother not only to lose her hearing in one ear after a buss on the ear, but to be thrust into the pages of medical history. Yet it wasn't the sound of the smackaroo that damaged the hearing of Hicksville homemaker Gail Schwartzman, but a suction force that displaced the woman's eardrum, paralyzed a tiny trio of bones and left residual sounds in her head. Schwartzman's case will be the subject of a medical journal report within the coming weeks, outlining for the first time what the author calls "the kiss of deaf."
.
Man masturbated while laughing at us
Police used a laser to measure exactly how far away a suspect was when witnesses said he masturbated and laughed at them.
The 44-year-old man is charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor.
Witnesses said he was standing just inside an opened second-story window of a residence on Wright Parkway, holding the organ in his hand and laughing, according to a police report.
When police went into the residence, the man was lying on a bed in the upstairs bedroom and said he was just preparing for a post-shower nap. His hair was not damp, though, police said, and it did not appear that he had recently showered.
The distance between the witnesses' doorstep and the man's bedroom window was 80 feet, an officer said after measuring it with a certified laser instrument.
The man later told a detective he was urinating out of his bedroom window.
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