Do you see what I see?

Of course you notice the bare butt of the girl in the background?

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Then go and see an eye doctor because this is the shoulder of the girl taking the picture

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Royal Mail is a Royal Pain, 'demands baby’s signature'

A pensioner has complained that a postal worker refused to hand over a parcel to him unless his nine-day-old baby granddaughter signed for it.
John Berry, 70, said he was startled when he was told by the worker at a sorting office that he could not pick up the package on behalf of his new-born granddaughter, Amber.
The retired man went to the depot in Cheltenham, Glos, after a postman dropped a card through his letter box to say a package was waiting for the infant.
But when he arrived he was told that only Amber could sign for it because her name was on the parcel.
“It was absolutely ridiculous,” said Mr. Berry, who was frustrated because I had many forms of identification on me, including my driving license, which proved I lived at the address on the parcel.
“He still wouldn’t allow me to take the package claiming that Amber needed to sign for it herself. I told him she was a baby but he kept persisting.”
Mr. Berry’s wife, Hazel, 65, a civil servant, said that when she complained, Royal Mail cited data protection law. “This country has gone stupid, there is red tape everywhere," she said.

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Inmates come to guard's aid in jail attack

Hillsborough County, Florida, Deputy Kenneth Moon was alone at his station at a county jail facility near Tampa when an inmate attacked him with no warning.
Moon, 64, was no match for Douglas Burden, 24, in custody on various drug charges. With Moon still in his chair, Burden put him in a choke hold and pulled tight.
And then, surveillance video of the Monday attack showed, other inmates jumped into the fray.
But the other inmates joined the fight on the guard's side, pulling Burden away from Moon and punching him in the head. One inmate grabbed Moon's radio and called for back-up. The inmates held Burden down until other guards arrived as one of them extended a hand to help Moon up, according to the video.
Col. James Previtera, commander of Hillsborough County's Department of Detention Services, told reporters he believed that the inmates "saved the deputy's life."
"The response of the inmates in this case, I think, speaks volumes as to the fact that we treat these men and women ... in our facilities with a lot of respect," Previtera said.
Previtera said that Burden was moved to administrative confinement after the attack and that Moon was not seriously hurt.
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Ex-Employees Charged With Serving Bad Salsa

Two former restaurant employees been charged with adding poison to salsa that made customers sick at Mi Ranchito in Lenexa in August.
Arnoldo Bazan, 30, and Yini De La Torre, 19, both of Shawnee, are accused of mixing a Methomyl-based pesticide into the salsa.
Dozens of customers became ill, suffering from nausea, abdominal cramps, weakness, sweating and discomfort.
According to the indictment, Bazan claimed the owner of Mi Ranchito restaurants as responsible for him losing his job and his vehicle.
Prosecutors said the couple devised a plan to use the poison in hopes the owner would be blamed and suffer financial harm.
If convicted, the pair could face 20 years in prison and fines of $250,000.
VIDEO

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Sweet Revenge

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Takes Woman 950 times to pass her driving test

A South Korean woman is celebrating after passing the written exam for a driving license - on her 950th attempt.
After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test.
The grandmother has spent more than 5m won ($4,200, £2,600) on application fees for the test.
Now Mrs. Cha, who lives in Jeonju, 130 miles (210km) south of Seoul, must pass the practical test to get on the road.
'Didn't give up'
According to the Korean Driver's License Agency, the 50-minute written test consists of 50 multiple-choice questions on road regulations and car maintenance.
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Fugitive taunts officers with police van photo

An on-the-run burglary suspect taunted the authorities today with a home-made mug shot showing him standing next to a police van.
Matthew Maynard, 23, is wanted in connection with a burglary in the Mount Pleasant area of Swansea, south Wales, in September.
His mug shot appeared in a South Wales newspaper over the weekend, together with seven others, as part of a police appeal to track down wanted suspects.
Staff at the newspaper was then bemused to get a phone call from Maynard claiming he was unhappy with the photograph they used and that he would send in another.”
“We just didn’t believe that he would do it.”
Maynard did send in a photo of himself via his mobile phone, taunting the authorities by standing in front of a police van.
The snapshot features on the newspaper’s front page today, ensuring the public gets a far clearer image of the fugitive’s face.
The newspaper's editor also used the paper’s opinion column to express his hope that Maynard will be caught sooner rather than later as a result of the extra publicity.
Maynard still remains at large.
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Wife is allergic to her husband's sperm

A newlywed couple fear they will be unable to have a baby after they discovered the wife was allergic to her husband's semen.
Julie Boyde, 26, discovered the problem when she and husband Mike, 27, had unprotected sexual intercourse for the first time on their wedding night.
The couple had been dating for two years when they got married, but had always used protection. As soon as they had unprotected intercourse for the first time she knew something was wrong.
"Before we were always very careful and, you know, used protection, and that time we didn't," so we figured we were married now, so if we got pregnant, we got pregnant."
Mrs. Boyde, from Ambridge, Pennsylvania, added: "The pain that I was feeling was inside, kind of like, somebody was sticking needles up inside of me and like a burning, like really painful burning."
Doctors were unable to explain why she experienced pain after intercourse, until a friend of hers suggested she might be allergic to her husband's semen. She was eventually diagnoses with Seminal Plasma Hypersensitivity, which can cause itching and burning.
Dr Andrew Goldstein, from the University of Cincinnati Medical Center said: "The body recognizes semen as a foreign protein just as it would recognize a peanut allergen or pollen." "So you have swelling, you have itching; you have inflammation of the nerve endings."
His colleague Jonathan Bernstein developed a desensitization treatment similar to receiving an allergy shot. After determining the proteins in Mr. Boyde's semen that triggered his wife's reaction, he created a serum to counteract the problem. Although the treatment works for some couples, it did not for the Boydes. They have now started adoption proceedings.
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Civilian having a joyride grabs ejection lever

A passenger enjoying a civilian joyride accidentally cut the trip short when he ejected himself from the plane after grabbing the eject lever while trying to brace himself.
The passenger was flying in a Pilatus PC-7 Mk II with an air force pilot friend.
He was instantly blasted 320-feet into the sky by the rocket-powered chair, before floating to the ground with an automatic parachute.
Air Force officers quickly deployed a helicopter to retrieve the passenger after his fall 80 miles south of Cape Town, South Africa.
The pilot of the craft, Captain Gerhard Lourens, is a long-time member of the Silver Falcons air force air display team.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Drunken man fouls car seat, wipes himself with Bible
A man was arrested in the Vancouver suburb of Surrey after he defecated on the seat of a car, wiped himself off with a Bible and then sought refuge in a nearby police vehicle.
The 33-year-old intoxicated man was at a Halloween party Saturday night when he stumbled out the door and use another guest's car as a toilet.
The outraged partygoers began yelling at the man, who then climbed into a police vehicle, where he was bit by a service dog and then arrested.
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Man blames diarrhea for indecent exposure charge
A Lehigh Acres man was arrested in Collier County Monday on charges of Indecent Exposure in Public after he allegedly exposed himself to two women in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
The incident occurred at 5420 Juliet Blvd. in Naples.
According to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report:
David Todd Napodano, 42, told investigators he was found naked in his van because he had “explosive diarrhea” and was using his underwear to clean himself.
The victims told investigators they were looking for their vehicle in the parking lot when they saw Napodano naked in his van and exposing him to them.
The underwear in question was located with stains, but the responding deputy determined the stains weren’t consistent with explosive diarrhea.
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Man robs same bank 4 times
Investigators are searching for a man who has robbed the same South Florida bank four times in the past year. The suspect has targeted a Tamarac BankAtlantic so many times that during the last heist one of the tellers said, "He's here again." The alleged robber is heavyset and has with dreadlocks. He wears different clothes each time, but during Saturday's heist the suspect wore all-black clothes, gloves and a black hat.
Sheriff's investigators said the man ordered tellers to fill a plastic bag with cash, then casually walked out.
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70 cases of brat pizzas stolen
Someone stole $3,400 worth of brat pizzas over the weekend from a frozen pizza processor in the Town of Holland, according to the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department.
The burglar broke into Luige’s Frozen Pizza, Inc., sometime between Friday afternoon and Monday morning. Employees reported that 20 bags of pizza spice were missing, along with 70 cases of brat pizzas.
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DUI suspect to cop: 'Dude, I do this every night'
A northwest Indiana man was arrested near Portage for driving with a blood-alcohol level almost four times the state's legal limit of .08 percent.
"Dude, I do this every night; I'm straight up and not drunk!" Zachary R. Duis told an Indiana state trooper after he was pulled over, police said.
Duis, 24, of Portage, was arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. He was also wanted on two warrants out of Porter County for resisting law enforcement and furnishing alcohol to a minor, both misdemeanors.
About 2:20 a.m., the Porter County sheriff's department received a call about a 1995 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck driving erratically, state police said. A sheriff's deputy pulled the truck over.
Shortly thereafter, the trooper administer a field sobriety test which Duis failed field; and was taken to the Portage Police Department for a certified breath test, state police said.
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Drunken man challenged lamppost to fight
Drunken 22-year-old David Robinson turned his anger on streetlights in Perth after passers-by refused to fight him.
David Robinson turned on the innocent streetlight after a number of walkers ignored his pleas to engage him in a stand-up fight.
As police officers watched, Robinson directed his anger at the lamppost and shouted at it to "come and have a go."
The bizarre incident was recounted at Perth Sheriff Court, where Robinson admitted breaching the peace and was ordered to carry out 80 hours community service.
The court was told that the police were on patrol in the early hours of the morning when they spotted Robinson shouting and swearing at passers-by. He challenged a passing stranger to a fight and it was clear to the officers as they got closer that Robinson was heavily under the influence of alcohol. "He must have been very drunk because when he ran out of passers-by he began to shout at the lampposts, similarly challenging them to 'have a go'."
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Man calls 9-1-1, twice to report that someone stole his "weed"
A 21-year-old man who called 9-1-1 to report that his marijuana stash had been stolen was arrested earlier this week in Salem, the Marion County Sheriff's Office announced.
Emergency dispatchers received a call from Calvin Hoover of Salem about 12:52 a.m.
Hoover was angry, he told the 9-1-1 operator, because someone had broken into his truck -- parked at the Free Loader Tavern in Salem -- and stolen his Carhartt jacket, $400 in cash and less than an ounce of marijuana.
Sheriff's deputies responded to the tavern and to Hoover's home, but he could not be found.
About an hour later, Hoover called 9-1-1 again. This time he was driving, upset that authorities were not working harder to recover his stuff. The dispatcher had trouble understanding Hoover, who stopped several times to throw up.
Deputies soon found Hoover's truck in Southeast Salem. Hoover was walking about 100 feet away. He told deputies he was looking for the people who stole his "weed."
Hoover was arrested on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants and took him to the Marion County Jail.
Deputies took a theft report, and then warned Hoover, who does not have a medical marijuana card, that reporting the pot theft might not have been such a smart idea. If he had been caught with the pot, they said, he could have been charged with possession of a controlled substance.
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Couple was told to drive 400 yards to recycle
A couple who tried to walk to their local recycling tip were turned away for health and safety reasons and told to make the 400 yard journey in their car instead.
David and Katie France thought they were being "doubly green" by taking their waste to the rubbish dump on foot.
But on arrival they were told it was unsafe for them to walk onto the site in case they got run over by a car.
Mr. France, 67, left his wife and the rubbish at the gate while he walked back home to get their car.
When he reached the depot he picked up his wife, loaded the vehicle with the recycling, drove onto the site and disposed of the rubbish before driving home.
Mr. France said: "It was farcical. I thought we were being doubly green by taking our recycling there on foot.
"But whatever good we did in recycling our waste was probably counteracted by the CO2 emissions we used up in our car."
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