Dog helps criminal slip short leash

June 28, 2007
An Israeli criminal slipped away from house arrest by putting his electronic ankle monitor on his dog, police said on Thursday.
It wasn't until police came to take Nabil Farumi, convicted of attempted murder, to a sentencing hearing, that he was gone without a trace.
"After we searched the house we saw that he somehow managed to take the monitor off his leg and place it around he neck of his dog, who continued to walk around the house," said Yoram Danieli, a police commander in northern Israel.

"No it’s not worth it!"

A Russian man is walking through a bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell him some illegal Viagra for 100 rubles.

"No it’s not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 rubles?"

"No it’s not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No it’s not worth it!"

"Ok, how about 10 rubles?"

"No it’s not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost $10 American each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills are worth it, it's my wife is not worth it."

Man dies after drinking cocaine

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6249452.stm

A caravan park owner collapsed and died after drinking several glasses of cocaine mixed with water over a six-hour period, an inquest has heard. Rodney Gray's widow Kathryn told Belfast Coroner's Court he had started putting the class A drug into his drink after complaining of a blocked nose. "He used to snort it. It was only recently he swallowed it," she said. Coroner John Leckey found that the cause of death of the Millisle father of three had been poisoning by cocaine.

Train Splits Tractor-Trailer

Jun 28, 2007
http://wbztv.com/watercooler/watercooler_story_179132623.html#

(CBS) A train tore a tractor-trailer in two at a railroad crossing in a town northeast of Pittsburgh this morning; but amazingly, no one was injured in the accident.

The crash happened around 9a.m. EDT in O'Hara Township and the impact literally ripped the trailer from its cab, reports CBS station KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh.

Officials say the driver of the tractor-trailer was out of the vehicle and walking around at the scene after the accident.

"The trailer is laying here on the side - it was taken off right behind the cab of the tractor," O'Hara Township Police Superintendent James R. Farringer said. "There's considerable amount of damage that was done to the train to the front engines."

A diet pill that swells in the stomach to stop hunger pangs

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6252720.stm

Italian scientists have developed a pill that expands in the stomach to make dieters feel full. They liken the effect to eating a bowl of spaghetti and say the pill can stop hunger for a few hours. It is made from a hydrogel, which the team developed when trying to make more absorbent nappy linings, and may help in the battle against obesity. The tiny pill is powdery when dry but when swallowed with a glass of water turns to a jelly-like ball in the stomach.It is made from an organic compound called cellulose and can be flushed out by the body. The pill, which has yet to be named, is being tested in a further 90 overweight volunteers who will be monitored to see how much weight they lose and if there are any adverse effects.

Village dug out of mountain rock

Farting Girl - Just For Laughs

Cops Chase Weinermobile

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) - Arizona State Police thought they had a hot one on Interstate 10 - that Oscar Meyer Weinermobile cruising through Tucson. Instead, they ended up with some - er - mustard on their face.

The famed Weinermobile, which travels across the nation promoting Kraft Foods' Oscar Meyer brand, was spotted by a state Department of Public Safety officer Wednesday morning on I-10, said officer Carmen Figueroa, a DPS spokeswoman.

The officer, in an unmarked car, ran a computer check and the license plate came back as stolen.

On came the lights, and the dog was nabbed. Other officers headed for the scene as backup.

But after some checks with the Columbia Police Department in Wisconsin, which had registered the warning on the "YUMMY" plate on the traveling ad, the officers backed off.

Wisconsin police had intended to make a note on the computer log that the plate only belonged on the traveling hot dog and that it was stolen if on any other vehicle, Figueroa said. Somehow the distinction didn't translate well, and the state DPS is now changing the computer entry.

Several "DUMB ASSES" in the news

Thief asks for "time out" in police chase
Tue Jun 26, 9:23 AM ET
Philippine police chased down an unfit thief on Tuesday after he ran out of breath and asked his pursuers for a "time out."
"He was panting and gasping for air when we caught up with him after a 500 meter sprint," Erwin Buenceso, one of the arresting officers, told local radio station dzBB.
Buenceso said the man and an accomplice broke into a house in the Philippine capital and stole two expensive mobile phones. Screams from the residence alerted a local police patrol, which gave chase.
The robber asked for a "time out" using hand signals.
After he regained his composure, police seized the two stolen phones and brought him to a station for questioning.

Man gets 10 years in license shooting
Wed Jun 27, 11:20 PM ET
A 49-year-old truck driver has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for shooting his wife after she failed to renew his driver's license.
Gary Alan Hemsted pleaded no contest earlier this month to attempted voluntary manslaughter, using a firearm and causing great bodily injury in the wounding of his wife, Lisa, 42, in 2005.
Shasta County sheriff's deputies said Hemsted became angry after he was cited for driving with an expired license and blamed his wife for failing to renew it.
Detective Steve Grashoff testified that Hemsted threatened to shoot his wife's horse and fired a round from a .22-caliber rifle that narrowly missed his wife and hit the family's barn.
Lisa Hemsted ran down the driveway of the couple's home while her husband gave chase in his pickup truck. As Lisa Hemsted climbed over a fence to try to get away, Gary Hemsted aimed his rifle at her, told her "you're dead" and fired a shot that hit her in the right thigh, Grashoff said.
A sheriff's patrol car was pulling up as the shooting took place.
Hemsted's attorney, Richard Maxion, said his client could end up serving a little more than six years in prison after the 796 days he has spent in jail and any credits he earns for good behavior are deducted from the sentence.

Wife blames shooting on burglar alarm
Wed Jun 27, 11:21 PM ET
A woman held on a gun charge claims she accidentally shot her husband in the head after becoming startled when the couple's burglar alarm activated, authorities said Wednesday.
April Moylan, 39, was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and ordered held Wednesday on $75,000 bond, according to the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office.
Prosecutors were not immediately seeking additional charges.
"The state attorney's office continues to review the facts of the case, and that review is ongoing," Sheriff Ken Mascara said Wednesday. "That means it is possible there could be additional charges in the future."
It was not immediately clear if she had an attorney.
Michael Eugene Moylan, 45, initially told authorities he awoke early Tuesday morning with a severe headache. The couple went to a hospital where a bullet was discovered in the man's head.
Investigators initially thought Moylan had been hit by a stray bullet, but later realized the couple's story did not match up, Mascara said.
The couple finally told authorities that April Moylan sleeps with a loaded .32-caliber revolver under her pillow. They said that when the burglar alarm sounded at about 4 a.m. Tuesday, she grabbed the gun and it accidentally discharged, shooting her husband in the head just behind his ear.
Mascara said the couple told authorities they couldn't simply call 911 because both are convicted felons and are not allowed to own a gun so they concocted the headache story.

Man Pays $4.88 for Plasma TV at Wal-Mart
June 29, 2007
MONROE, La. (AP) - While Wal-Mart is known for dropping its prices, one West Monroe man took the ad campaign seriously when he dropped the price of a plasma television from $984 to $4.88. Police arrested Chandon L. Simms, 23, on Tuesday at the retail store on a charge of felony theft.

According to police reports, Simms carried a 42-inch Sanyo Plasma TV to a self-checkout aisle after switching the original price tag of $984 with one for only $4.88. Wal-Mart Loss Prevention officers witnessed the alleged transaction and called police.

When the store officers stopped Simms on his way out the door, he produced a receipt for a television purchased at the West Monroe Wal-Mart, authorities said.

Simms told officers that he purchased a TV from the West Monroe store and planned to return that one and keep the one he purchased for only $4.88 from the Monroe store. He was then arrested and booked into the Ouachita Correctional Center.

Drivers arrested for speeding at 141 mph
Wed Jun 27, 5:30 PM ET
The Washington State Patrol says a trooper arrested two men speeding 141 mph on I-5 in Snohomish County. The patrol says the trooper thought he was hearing an airplane early Sunday as the cars whizzed by going north, a 2005 BMW 330i with a 2007 Honda Accord right behind.
The trooper caught up with the cars because they had stopped for a passenger from one of the cars to get into the other.
The 22-year-old driver of the BMW and the 18-year-old driver of the Honda were booked into the Snohomish County Jail for charges of reckless driving.

What every man dreams about

I like what I see

Impulsive Buying

http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2007/06/28/budweiser-barbecue-sauce/

http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2007/06/24/froot-loops-cereal-straws/

A Kids Reply

A teacher was giving a lesson to her young students on the circulation of blood in their bodies.
Trying to explain the lesson clearer, she told her class if I stood on my head, the blood as you know would run into my head and I would turn red in the face.
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright position the blood doesn't run into my feet and make them turn red?"
A young boy shouted, "Because your feet ain't empty."

Bush and a visit to New Zealand

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/466/story.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=10448633

A visit to New Zealand by United States President George W. Bush is being actively considered in Washington.

The visit would follow his attendance at the annual Apec summit in Sydney on September 8 and 9.

Would you like George Bush to visit NZ?

Here is a selection of Your Views:

Dave (Auckland CBD) New Zealand customs would never allow well known terrorists into the country, so why let Bush? He is responsible for the hundred's of thousands of deaths in the middle east since his "coalition" of killers invaded Iraq, just so "Daddy and friends" can get their hands on the oil and also make enormous amounts of money in arms dealings. Bush is not welcome in NZ! Let's not let the evil monkey set foot in God zone!

Martina (Auckland)We should not be giving Bush the impression that he is welcome here, because he is obviously not. I would resent us funding his useless little visit, too.

Richard I would welcome Bush into NZ, he is very welcome here. And I hope our Government gives him the welcome he deserves and arrests him, and charges him with war crimes and crimes against humanity. This war criminal should be treated like all war criminals.

Steve Schoenberg I would favor Bush visiting only if we promptly arrest him for war crimes. Providing he is in jail, I would favor him staying a while.

John W No thanks! The only place Bush deserves to visit is a court for war criminals, along with his blood-soaked greedy mates Rove and Cheney.

For every 100 girls

There are a lot of interesting facts with U.S. Census data to back it up.
For instance:
For every 100 girls that are conceived 115 boys are conceived.

For every 100 girls enrolled in gifted and talented programs in public elementary and secondary schools there are 94 boys enrolled.

For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability 276 boys are diagnosed with a learning disability.

For every 100 women enrolled in college there are 77 men enrolled.

For every 100 women ages 18 to 21 in correctional facilities there are 1430 men behind bars.

http://boysproject.net/statistics.html

'PREDATORS' TO WALK

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06292007/tv/predators_to_walk_tv_.htm
June 29, 2007

A Texas district attorney has refused to prosecute any of the 24 alleged pedophiles ensnared in a sting filmed for NBC's "Dateline: To Catch a Predator" series.
Among those caught last year in Murphy, Texas was a prosecutor from a neighboring county who committed suicide when police showed up to arrest him.
The Murphy city manager who approved the operation lost his job in the ensuing furor. And now the local district attorney is refusing to prosecute any of the 24 remaining men, saying many of the cases were tainted by the involvement of amateurs.

Sexy Car Wash Advertising

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007290824,00.html

A COUPLE have been ordered to remove their cheeky car wash firm slogan that promised: “The best hand-job in town.”
The sign on the side of a lorry also showed a bikini-clad blonde soaping down a pink Cadillac.
But councilors in Goole, East Yorks, branded it inappropriate and Soapy Rides owners Nigel and Michaela Kennings, both 37, were fined £400 with £600 costs by magistrates.
Michaela, 37, said: “It’s absolutely ridiculous. The sign has caused great amusement to customers.
“We are surrounded by old warehouses and this brightened up the area.”
A council spokesman said: “We asked a number of times for the sign to be removed.”

Backwards Feet

How smart are you?

I got 19 out of 25 right with out cheating.

How many can you get right?

Post yours under comments.

Inflation - Most things have gone up in price...

Of all the items listed below, the price of only one item has gone way down since Bush took office. Everything else has become much more expensive.

Dozen eggs
Gallon of Gasoline
Health Care
Gallon of Milk
8-ball of cocaine
College Tuition
Loaf of bread

That one thing is cocaine. Now I'm not really an economics expert, but I do make sure to watch both Fox News and Lou Dobbs in order to get both sides, so I think I know what I'm talking about. The lower price must be because all the money being spent to destroy these drugs in Colombia is making Americans feel guilty about continuing to buy it - and the demand is dropping. And since President Bush makes everyone cherish life so much, the demand for things we need to live is going up. As a result, the terrorists are getting much less money for their drugs than they were just 5 years ago while good people are getting wealthier.

MSNBC rips Paris report

It's a "Zorse"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=464723&in_page_id=1770
June 28, 2007

It looks as if someone tried to give a zebra a respray. . . then ran out of white paint halfway through the job.
But in reality there is no artificial coloring on display here. This amazing but natural coat belongs to Eclyse the zorse.
Her father is a zebra, while her mother is a horse. And she's walking proof of how a child inherits genes from both parents.

The biggest Diehard Movie fan in the world

Prez In Oz

The last four Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.
They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard.

"WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.., I...think I need a brain."
"DONE" says the Wizard.

"WHO IS NEXT?"
Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart." "I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.
The Wizard finally asks "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?!?!"

Officer loses job over "Jail Sex Show"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070627/ap_on_fe_st/odd_officer_sex_show
June 27, 2007

An officer who ordered two women to put on a "sex show" in a jail cell will be fired. Norberto Cappas, 32, was found guilty by a police tribunal of conduct unbecoming an officer and lying during a departmental investigation and will lose his job following a 30-day suspension, the department said Tuesday.
Internal Affairs investigators found that Cappas ordered the two women to kiss and touch each other and expose their breasts in September 2003. The two had been picked up on suspicion of drug possession, but they had no drugs and were not charged with a crime.
Cappas has denied wrongdoing and refused to talk to a Philadelphia Inquirer reporter seeking comment Tuesday.
The case sat idle for years until the Inquirer raised questions about it last year.
One of the women filed a civil lawsuit and was awarded $17,500. The city's own lawyers concluded that she never should have been detained in the first place.

How it works...............

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

She drank a cup of mustard... Ewwwww!!!

Do you know your ass from your elbow?

(Click here to find out)

http://www.zegelin.com/love_files/ArseorElbow.htm

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or door bell rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Only a matter of time before this guy is lion poop

Animal behaviorist Kevin Richardson has such an intimate bond with big cats that he can spend the night curled up with them without the slightest fear of attack. Richardson, 32, who is based in a wildlife conservation area near Johannesburg in South Africa, works his unusual magic on other species too. Cheetahs, leopards and even unpredictable hyenas hold no threats for him.

But lions are his favorite. He lavishes them with unconditional love, he says, treating each individual differently, speaking to them, caressing them and, above all, treating them with respect.

A former student of human physiology who once worked with pre and post-operative human patients, Kevin turned to animals ten years ago when he came to the conclusion that he could trust a lion over one of his own kind.
Kevin says he is most confident with animals he has known since birth, but claims he can become close friends with any lion less than a year old, when it is still flexible enough to accept him as part of its own pride.

Girl, 14, Dies On Ride At Disneyland Paris

http://www.wftv.com/news/13569469/detail.html
June 26, 2007

PARIS -- The death of a 14-year-old Spanish girl after a Disney ride is under investigation in France.

Disneyland Paris officials said the girl lost consciousness while riding a roller coaster.

The cause of the girl's death remains unclear. A preliminary inspection of the Rock'n'Roller Coaster ride found no malfunctions with the machinery.

The girl boarded the ride on Monday at the theme park east of the French capital, and when the ride stopped, her friends found her unconscious.

Medical teams at the theme park tried to revive her, but by the time the ambulance arrived, the girl had died.

Police have opened an investigation, and an autopsy is planned Tuesday.

The ride is shut down.

Man Wakes Up With Headache, Doesn't Know Wife Shot Him

http://www.wftv.com/news/13575241/detail.html?rss=orlc&psp=irresistible
June 26, 2007

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A man who woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible headache, ended up having a bullet lodged in his head. His wife was arrested Tuesday.

St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputies initially thought Michael Eugene Moylan had been hit by a stray bullet, but later realized the couples story did not match up, Sheriff Ken Mascara said.

The woman, who was not identified, was arrested Tuesday night and was in the process of being charged with attempted murder, Mascara said.

USB Speed Typing Mouse

If you have your own private office, you might find yourself getting a bit lonely from time to time.
This little pedalling mouse will keep you company and let you challenge your typing ability.
The mouse plugs into any USB port on your computer.
The faster you type, the faster he pedals.
He also keeps record of your daily word count.

"Heinz" Makes More Then Just Ketchup

Spotted dick is a steamed pudding, containing dried fruits, usually currants. The dessert originates in and continues to be especially popular in the United Kingdom, usually served either with custard or with butter and brown sugar. Spotted refers to the currants (which resemble spots) and dick may be a contraction/corruption of the word pudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough.

Where Red Headed Babies Comes From..........

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor," the man said, "I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can't possibly be mine."

"Nonsense," the doctor said.
"Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

"It isn't possible," the man insisted.
"This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed.
"I've been working very hard for the past year.
We only had sex few times over the past year."

"Well, there you have it!" The doctor said confidently. "It's rust".

China opens longest sea bridge in the world

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=464471&in_page_id=1811

A 22-mile bridge that its builders claim is the world's longest sea-crossing structure was formally linked-up Tuesday just south of the business hub of Shanghai. The bridge links Shanghai to the industrial city of Ningbo across Hangzhou Bay, cutting the distance between them from about 250 miles to just 50 miles. Costing 11.8 billion yuan (£0.77 billion), the structure will open to traffic next year following completion of the six-lane roadway that will permit vehicles to travel at speeds of up to 62 miles per hour. The bridge, a mix of viaducts and cable-stayed spans to allow shipping to pass beneath, lies just south of the Yangtze River Delta, one of China's most economically vital regions which is undergoing a massive construction boom aimed at boosting transport links.

This guy has an interesting job

Someone should check Granny's pulse.

Look at that funny guy on the toilet

Why Math is Important in Life

The other night, a friend and I ordered a 12″ round pizza for the two of us. (Pepperoni, sausage, green peppers, and onions, though the toppings are immaterial.) A little while later, the waitress came by with an 8″ round pizza, explaining that another waitress had mistakenly given our pizza to someone else. She said we could have this 8″ pizza now, and she’d have the cook throw another 8″ pizza in the oven for us. She claimed that we’d be getting more total pieces of pizza, so this was a good deal for us.
After doing some quick mental math (area of a circle = pi*radius². Two 8″ pizzas = 2*pi*(4)² = 32*pi square inches, One 12″ pizza = pi*(6)² = 36*pi square inches), I told her we’d be missing out on over 12 square inches of pizza, so we’d rather just have the one 12″ pizza. She complied, and as a nice bonus (probably because she was impressed by my quick geometry skills), she let us have the extra 8″ pizza anyways. Score one for geometry! I know that math is used all of the time in personal finance situations - calculating per unit prices in the grocery store, figuring out payments on credit cards or mortgages, preparing your tax return, etc., but for some reason I was really proud of my quick math skills at thebar that night. I think sometimes the simplest things can be the most rewarding.


You could have worked that out without having to use pi at all, 12″ is 1.5 times bigger than 8″, so the area of a 12″ is (1.5 * 1.5) 2.25 times that of an 8″.
Two 8″ pizzas won’t cut it; you need a 4″ pizza too!

Thief gets stuck while burglarizing college

This man faces a burglary rap after getting stuck behind bars — of a window he was trying to climb through. Nicholas Forster, 35, was caught red-faced after getting wedged in security grilles.
Firemen spent 30 minutes trying to free him — and he was arrested by cops as soon as he was released from the window at Peterborough Regional College, Cambs. An onlooker said: He was so embarrassed he wouldn’t even lift his head to face the firemen. He was with his girlfriend — and she claimed he was trying to retrieve his watch that she’d thrown through the window. Forster and Natalie Leach, 24, both of Peterborough, were charged with burglary.

This is your brain while using cocaine

This was made by a drug user who attempting to escape from police in his father's car. Four police cars were damaged in a desperate attempt to prevent the crazed driver from reaching public roads, but they could not save the crop from irreparable damage. In the end, the man was captured when he crashed the car into a ditch.

Is your computer little slow?

You Want Speed............
U.S. places 6th in Internet speed at 1.97 megabits per second.
No. 1 Japan offers users 61 mbps at the same price as U.S. service.

Would You Look At That

I never want to find myself in this position.

Girl HUMILIATES herself at Ice Hockey Game

Do you have a problem oversleeping?

Creative alarm-clock carpet

This will definitely help you get up in the morning.
Do you find it hard to get up in the morning? There have been quite a few ingenious alarm clock concepts of late. But this one is the best ever. In order to turn it off, you have to get up and step on it. If you really want to make it a challenge, place it far away from your bed. Of course it wouldn’t be a clock if it didn’t have and LCD screen to indicate time too.

But, will it keep you from going back to bed?

Still have problems try the "Sonic Bomb"

The Sonic Bomb Clock has an adjustable volume alarm with a maximum loudness of 113 decibels (just for reference, a jackhammer is about 100 decibels!) And the bed shaker does just that. Slip it under your mattress and your ears will bleed and your bed will shake, and there is no way you will oversleep. Or, you could turn the sound alarm off and tape the bed shaker to your office chair. You'll be vibrated awake without disturbing the drones. Then you can get back to your Ninja activity refreshed and ready for action.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/?cpg=48H

Top 10 sports most bizarre races

According to “The Man”

A person needs only two tools:

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.

If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

Fashion critic don’t wear your Crocs in public

Wear the damn things while at home and in your garden, but please don't go shopping with them on! That's how I feel about this "most annoyingly omnipresent style of summer footwear."

George W. Bush was photographed recently in a pair of black Crocs – as he was heading out from the White House to ride his bike. He wore the clunky resin clogs -- which have ventilation holes and a heel strap --.He had the backstraps of his Crocs flipped forward so they rested on the top of the shoes -- turning them into slides.

How is your Sex Life

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?" Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M." Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He Snores while I Masturbate."

"DUMB ASSES"

Playing with the Microwave

WARNING: Don't be a "Dumb Ass"
Match Under A Glass In A Microwave


Microwave One Dozen Light Bulb Buffet


Making Fresh Diamonds in the Microwave

Knock-out name for baby girl

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070623135058.isaofua7&show_article=1&catnum=9&image=large
June 23, 2007

Baby Autumn Brown has a name to live up - in fact she has over 25 of them.


The little girl's mother Maria, in keeping with her boxing-mad family's bizarre tradition, decided to give her 25 middle names - all culled from the greatest exponents inside the ring.Her full name, which left register office staff in Perton, Wolverhampton reeling is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.