Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or door bell rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Only a matter of time before this guy is lion poop

Animal behaviorist Kevin Richardson has such an intimate bond with big cats that he can spend the night curled up with them without the slightest fear of attack. Richardson, 32, who is based in a wildlife conservation area near Johannesburg in South Africa, works his unusual magic on other species too. Cheetahs, leopards and even unpredictable hyenas hold no threats for him.

But lions are his favorite. He lavishes them with unconditional love, he says, treating each individual differently, speaking to them, caressing them and, above all, treating them with respect.

A former student of human physiology who once worked with pre and post-operative human patients, Kevin turned to animals ten years ago when he came to the conclusion that he could trust a lion over one of his own kind.
Kevin says he is most confident with animals he has known since birth, but claims he can become close friends with any lion less than a year old, when it is still flexible enough to accept him as part of its own pride.

Girl, 14, Dies On Ride At Disneyland Paris

PARIS -- The death of a 14-year-old Spanish girl after a Disney ride is under investigation in France.

Disneyland Paris officials said the girl lost consciousness while riding a roller coaster.

The cause of the girl's death remains unclear. A preliminary inspection of the Rock'n'Roller Coaster ride found no malfunctions with the machinery.

The girl boarded the ride on Monday at the theme park east of the French capital, and when the ride stopped, her friends found her unconscious.

Medical teams at the theme park tried to revive her, but by the time the ambulance arrived, the girl had died.

Police have opened an investigation, and an autopsy is planned Tuesday.

The ride is shut down.

Man Wakes Up With Headache, Doesn't Know Wife Shot Him

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A man who woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible headache, ended up having a bullet lodged in his head. His wife was arrested Tuesday.

St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputies initially thought Michael Eugene Moylan had been hit by a stray bullet, but later realized the couples story did not match up, Sheriff Ken Mascara said.

The woman, who was not identified, was arrested Tuesday night and was in the process of being charged with attempted murder, Mascara said.

USB Speed Typing Mouse

If you have your own private office, you might find yourself getting a bit lonely from time to time.
This little pedalling mouse will keep you company and let you challenge your typing ability.
The mouse plugs into any USB port on your computer.
The faster you type, the faster he pedals.
He also keeps record of your daily word count.

"Heinz" Makes More Then Just Ketchup

Spotted dick is a steamed pudding, containing dried fruits, usually currants. The dessert originates in and continues to be especially popular in the United Kingdom, usually served either with custard or with butter and brown sugar. Spotted refers to the currants (which resemble spots) and dick may be a contraction/corruption of the word pudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough.

Where Red Headed Babies Comes From..........

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor," the man said, "I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can't possibly be mine."

"Nonsense," the doctor said.
"Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

"It isn't possible," the man insisted.
"This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed.
"I've been working very hard for the past year.
We only had sex few times over the past year."

"Well, there you have it!" The doctor said confidently. "It's rust".

China opens longest sea bridge in the world

A 22-mile bridge that its builders claim is the world's longest sea-crossing structure was formally linked-up Tuesday just south of the business hub of Shanghai. The bridge links Shanghai to the industrial city of Ningbo across Hangzhou Bay, cutting the distance between them from about 250 miles to just 50 miles. Costing 11.8 billion yuan (£0.77 billion), the structure will open to traffic next year following completion of the six-lane roadway that will permit vehicles to travel at speeds of up to 62 miles per hour. The bridge, a mix of viaducts and cable-stayed spans to allow shipping to pass beneath, lies just south of the Yangtze River Delta, one of China's most economically vital regions which is undergoing a massive construction boom aimed at boosting transport links.

This guy has an interesting job