Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Two girls, one cake.

What’s that brown shit all over them?

Put your head between your legs and Kiss Your Ass Good Bye

Airplane has a tough time landing.
Blind Pilots
Airplane passengers watch nervously as two men wearing pilots’ uniforms and dark glasses use canes to feel their way into the cockpit. The plane starts barreling down the runway, and the passengers begin to get scared as the water at the end of the airstrip nears. With only a few yards left, everyone screams, but the plane lifts off just in time. The passengers think it was all a joke, while in the cockpit, the pilot’s high-five. “You know,” says one pilot to the other, “one day they’re gonna scream too late, and we’re all gonna die.”


Damn Good Catch.

Road maps are useless when it comes to finding the womans G-Spot

Multi-million dollar jet and the damn instructions in Chinese

Clean Up Your Dirty Mouth - NSFW

Funny Orbit Commercial

Creative Animation

Just click on the link, then click on play, then sit back and enjoy.
Thanks Shelley

Breaking News..........

Coyote catches the Road Runner

The high point advantage

For Women On The Go

PMS - Just once a year - very funny ending.

Cutting Trees With a Minigun - Kari Byron fires the Dillon M134D

Mythbusters Kari Byron mows down a tree with a minigun.

I think I can if I only had the courage.

Thanks B&P


The video shows a soldier appear to pick up and then throw a stray puppy off a cliff. The Marines are examining whether the video is authentic.
HONOLULU — Military officials are investigating an Internet video that purports to show a Marine throwing a puppy off a rocky cliff.
Maj. Chris Perrine of the Marine Corps Base in Kaneohe, Hawaii says it appears the man is a lance corporal based with a unit in the islands.
Marine officials are calling the YouTube video "shocking and deplorable" and say it violates "the high standard we expect of every Marine."
The low-quality clip shows two Marines joking as one holds up what appears to be a motionless black and white puppy, which he then hurls into a rocky gully.
“Oh, I tripped,” the man in the clip said as the puppy was thrown. An unseen man could be heard saying: “That’s mean. That was mean, Motari.” A yelping sound is heard as it flies through the air.
Three US Soldiers Torture Little Puppy in Iraq
YouTube pull the plug on this video however, you can watch it here.

Worker caught having sex with Henry Hoover

A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.

How About That: More weird news from around the world
The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.

The man claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover

A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".

According to the report the contractor was supposed to be locking up the building site near the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital where his firm is refurbishing administration offices.

The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to "clean himself and the hoover" before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.

When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.

The man's employers, HG Construction, told The Sun: "That behavior is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh".

Small Bits of News

21-year-old fathers seventh child
A 21-year-old who fathered his first child at 13 is about to become a dad for the seventh time. Keith Macdonald, from Washington, Tyne and Wear has been branded a "reckless Romeo" after it emerged that all his children are by different women.
He is reported to be living apart from the mother-to-be. As he is unemployed he does not support his children financially, but Mr Macdonald says he has no plans to father any more children. Mr Macdonald said he did not want to have any more children and that his mother has strong views about the situation. He said: "My mom not happy about all these kids. She tells me to pack it in and keep it in my trousers."
Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese
NATICK, Mass. - A child's birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant was cut short after a fight broke out between two mothers. Natick police said the mom of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman's son was "hogging" an arcade game.
Sgt. Paul Thompson said Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, would be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle.
Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.
He said what started as a birthday celebration turned into a "birthday melee."
Boss bans smelly undies
The boss of a Serbian company has banned staff from coming into work with dirty underwear.
Milomir Gligorijevic said: "I am fed up with people with poor personal hygiene standards. I have now made it a sackable offence for people to come in without having a shower - or with dirty underwear."
He has also banned staff from smelling after eating garlic - warning that they need to make sure they brush their teeth - and use perfume and deodorant.
Gligorijevic, who runs a 30-staff stationery company in the capital Belgrade, sent out an official memo to all employees demanding they adopt good standards of personal hygiene.
The memo warned all employees to make sure they brush their teeth, take showers regularly and change their underpants every day.
He did not say how he would make sure his clean underpants rule was followed but warned it would be enforced.
Man beheads his nephew in Saudi supermarket
A man beheaded his nephew, aged just fifteen months, in front of his mother in a crowded Saudi Arabian supermarket, a newspaper in the country has reported.
According to Arab News, the 25-year-old man, of Syrian nationality, picked up a large knife from a nearby store and decapitated the infant following a family argument at around 9:30am on Sunday.
It is believed the row involved his sister and his brother-in-law. "The murderer was in a dispute with the boy’s mother and her husband. He chopped off the boy's head in front of the mother to get back at her."
The mother was taken to hospital after she and an onlooker both fainted at the scene.
Murder is punishable by death in the Islamic country, and the sentence is usually carried out by beheading.
Iranian court orders 'stingy' husband to buy 124,000 roses
A "stingy" husband has received a court order forcing him to buy his neglected wife 124,000 red roses.The woman decided to claim her mahr, or dowry, after ten years of marriage as a way of punishing her husband's tight grip on the family purse-strings. "Shortly after marriage I realized that Shahin was very cheap. He even refused to pay for my coffee if we went to a cafe or restaurant," she said. A long-stemmed rose in the Islamic Republic costs 20,000 rials, or a little over £1 - so the full bouquet, if such a vast array can be so called, will weigh in at around £134,000. Iranian authorities have seized Hengameh's husband's apartment - worth 600 million rials or around £32,500 - until he has bought her all 124,000.The husband, identified as Shahin, denies the accusations of thriftiness. Claiming that he can only afford five roses a day, he complained that it was "her billionaire friends who had put such ideas in her head."
Young Teens Sharing Naked Photos of Themselves
FARMINGTON, Utah — Teenagers using cell phones, Web cams and the Internet to share naked images of themselves have prompted a Utah attorney general to revisit how such cases should be handled.
A group of 13- and 14-year-old boys and girls at Farmington Junior High School traded headless nude self-portraits with each other on cell phones in January, but there are several other similar unrelated cases.
"The conduct involved here runs the spectrum from being less severe to some shocking-type behavior," said Davis County Attorney Troy Rawlings.
"Some were engaged in producing and distributing, some were engaged in just taking pictures of themselves and showing."
Rawlings said law enforcement expects to see more of this, so his office has been working on a blueprint of fair legal options that take into consideration such variables as the age of the person who sends the photo and the one who receives it.
Teens have been carrying cell phones with cameras for several years. Rawlings said he isn't sure why there's been a surge in this kind of image sharing. Many of the cases under review occurred before the Farmington Junior High case was made public.