Sunday, September 14, 2008

Need to Laugh

The two teenagers were arrested for public intoxication and possession of marijuana when they were found smoking a joint while sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the man replied. "I'm just here to deliver them a pizza."
A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"God said "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a truck and killed. Arriving in front of God she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that truck?"
God replied, "I didn't even recognize you!"


When Money Is Not A Problem

It has been called "majestic, ingenious and sleek." Those are only a few of the words that have said, describing this coffee machine - the Clover, an $11,000 device that brews regular coffee one cup at a time.
The machine works using an extremely fine filter on top of a piston that sinks into the machine. Over time, the piston will rise, creating a vacuum that forces water through the grounds.
Finally, the coffee flows into a single cup.

Nice legs! Oh... wait...NOT

“Bust a Nut!”

Corn Nuts - Radio Advertisement
Corn Nuts - Radio Advertisement
Go to your room and lock the door,
'Cause when you try it once you'll wanna try it some more!
Size doesn't matter and that's a fact,
It might be small, but it's a big impact!
Bust a nut! Bust a nut!
Grab a bag of Corn Nuts and bust a nut!
They're lightly toasted and hard as well,
Enjoy yourself, we won't tell...
Everybody does it, they like it a lot,
You can do it at school , just don't get caught!
It takes a few minutes, if you don't delay;
Take your time and make it last all day!
Bust a nut! Bust a nut!
Grab a bag of Corn Nuts and bust a nut!
They're lightly toasted and hard as well,
Enjoy yourself, we won't tell...
Corn Nuts: An intensely crunchy corn snack.
Comes in seven nut-busting flavors.
Bust a nut at a convenience store near you.

China recycling used condoms into hair ties...

In November 2007, news emerged from China that some hair bands manufactured there were found to have been made from recycled condoms. The prophylactic hair ties were discovered in Dongguan and Guangzhou, two cities in the province of Guangdong. (The colorful hair bands were believed to have been manufactured in Jinhua, a city in the province of Zhejiang.) The "secret ingredient" came to light when a young woman in Dongguan thought to investigate the hair bands given to her in a local salon after one began to fray, revealing an unexpected color inside.
"The hair bands are swathed in colorful wool-like materials," said Ms. Chen, the woman who found the condoms. "But a small part came loose when I used the bands to tie my hair up one morning. It looked strange to me because of its different color — not the yellow color we normally see in plastic bands. I peeled deeper and found something that looked like a condom."
Anonymous said...
This is disgusting, another thing china sent over seas to secretly attack us
along with the toxic toys, and medicines.
That's why every American should just buy American made things only.

Pothole From Hell or Pothole To Hell

DIY - Weekend Project

Toilet Paper Launcher
This would have been great when I was a kid.

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Boy’s bizarre claim 'how a fish got in his penis'
Doctors treating a 14 year old boy from India were shocked to find a 2cm long fish had "slipped" up his penis and into his bladder. The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation. Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium.
Picture and More
"I find this story hard to believe as how the entered his bladder. How many people do you know that hold there pet fish in their hand while relieving them self. Sound just to FISHY."
Candy Shop Gets Not-So-Sweet Surprise
A German candy store has been closed down after Berlin police found its sweets were laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.
"In the shop we found 120 pieces of magic mushroom chocolate and countless cannabis lollipops."
All told, police found 70 small bags of various drugs, 20 marijuana joints and jars of drug-laced honey in the shop, which is located in a trendy east Berlin neighborhood.
The 23-year-old owner of the shop has been taken into custody on suspicion of drug-dealing, and a customer was also arrested after trying to buy a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms from a police officer.
Man jailed for selling partner for beer
A man has been sentenced to three years in prison for selling his partner as a sex slave to his neighbor for a crate of beer.
The bizarre deal between the 39-year-old man from Hersfeld-Rotenburg and his 60-year-old neighbor was revealed after a 32-year-old woman told police about her ordeal.
The court in Fulda established that the woman was forced by her alcoholic partner to have sex with the elderly neighbor for several weeks. The neighbor paid with a crate of beer for every visit.
The neighbor was sentenced to a two-year suspended jail sentence and a single payment of €2000 ($3463) to the victim.
Truck driver 'watched Battlestar Galactica' on laptop while driving
Benjamin Trotsman, 37, was spotted driving erratically in the early hours of the morning by another trucker who called police.
He was traveling north on the M6 and was seen veering across the carriageway over a 25-mile stretch between Kendal and Penrith in Cumbria.
A Cumbria Police spokesman said: The driver was seen to be watching a film on a laptop computer that was situated on the dashboard in his cab.
Trotsman, of Bridgnorth, Shropshire, initially pleaded guilty to a charge of driving dangerously at Penrith magistrates court last month.
He then applied to withdraw his guilty plea, and change it to not guilty, but magistrates rejected the request.