Thursday, December 11, 2008

Best Butt

Pit bulls must pass a test to avoid muzzles

The Nebraska Humane Society is offering "good citizen" classes for pit bulls to allow owners to comply with Omaha's new muzzle law.
The Omaha ordinance, which takes effect in January, requires all pit bulls in the city to be muzzled in public unless they pass a canine "good citizen" test, KETV in Omaha, reported Thursday.
"They have to be able to put up with distractions, loud noise, somebody running and they have to be allowed to walk on a loose leash," trainer Cathy Guinane said of the "good citizen" test.
The Humane Society said 10 pit bulls have already taken the $10 class and passed the test allowing them to go muzzle-free. The society said about 40 dogs are currently enrolled in the class, which officials said they will continue to offer for the next several weeks.


Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Man handcuffs his wife to the bed, loses key
Police say situation was an intimate relationship, not an imprisonment
If you love something, set it free. And if you can't, call the police. The police responded to a call Thursday morning by a Dearborn man who handcuffed his wife to their bed but misplaced the key. Police used a universal key to free the woman. Sgt. Ray Patrick said the situation was "more of an intimate relationship than an unlawful imprisonment."
Young women sleep around more than men
The average 21-year-old female has nine sexual partners compared with seven for men. The average young woman has sex three times a week but would prefer to do it five times.
Cat and 30,000 in cash left on trains
A pet cat and a bag containing 30,000 in cash were among the unlikely objects left on trains this year, according to a rail operator.
Little boys are getting their pee-pee smashed by toilet seats
Little boys are being admitted to hospital suffering crush injuries to their penises when heavy toilet seats drop on them, doctors have warned.
Fashionable heavy wooden or ceramic lavatories seats are to blame as they are more likely to fall when the lavatory is in use, urology specialists said.
Writing in the British Journal of Urology International Dr Joe Philip and his colleagues said they have seen four cases of boys under the age of four being admitted to hospital with crushing injuries to their penises.
The injuries were serious enough to require an overnight stay in hospital but did not leave lasting damage, they said.
Hell this isn't anything new every since the start putting covers on the toilet seat 40 or so years ago the problem has haunted many young males.
The seat (cover or lid) wasn't designed to put covers on them that so many females thought it made the toilet more pleasant to look at.

Boy survives arrow shot through the eye

A schoolboy archer had a narrow escape after being shot through the eye by a friend.
The arrow went through 11-year-old sharp shooter Liu Cheong's eye socket, completely through his head and was only stopped by the back of his skull.
"If the arrow had been shot with just a bit more force, it would have come out the back of his head," said doctors at Jida Hospital in Changchun, eastern China.
The boy only survived because the arrow had miraculously missed his brain.

KFC Bathing

Three Kentucky Fried Chicken workers in Anderson California have been fired after being accused of using a restaurant sink as a bathtub, a company spokesman said.
KFC spokesman Rick Maynard said the three unidentified female employees were initially suspended for allegedly bathing in a dishwashing sink in Anderson, Calif., but were later fired over the incident.
"KFC has zero tolerance for violations of our operating standards, and our franchisee has taken immediate action by terminating the employees who were involved," Maynard said in an e-mail.
The incident came to light after photographs of the female workers that allegedly show them bathing in the sink were posted on a MySpace profile.

Happy Birthday Mouse !

Believe it or not your mouse is 40 today! (12-9-08) Looking like something that could take your fingers clean off, the wooden block with a single red button on top was unveiled to the world 40 years ago. Douglas Engelbart invented the mouse and worked with Bill English to build the device.

Mistake could have had serious consequences

Catherine Roots had been expecting a horse harness in the post, instead she opened her package to find a Heckler & Koch black submachine gun.
The package was delivered by a courier to Mrs Roots when it should have been sent to firearms officers at the nearby police headquarters.
She called the station and two armed officers turned up and took it away.
Police later explained a gun supply company made a mistake with the postcode when they sent it to Dorset Police in Winfrith near Dorchester.
Instead of writing down DT2 8DZ a clerk put Mrs Roots' postcode of DT2 8DT on the package.


Council chiefs have sworn to stamp out town center swearing in a poster campaign against anti-social behavior.
Zero tolerance for bad language is being spelled out in signs and banners across Preston in Lancashire, laying out "Rules 'Round Town" in slang terms such as "No 'Effin & 'Jeffin". But the phrase will probably baffle even the sober as it is slang used in the USA's Deep South to describe someone who is useless and grumpy at work because they are hung over and appears to have been picked just because it rhymes. Clearer messages are "No Pavement Pizza" which depicts a character being sick in the street and "Don't Pee Anti-Social" which shows someone urinating.
The Respect Our City campaign is designed to reduce swearing, spitting, litter dropping and dog fouling. Police can give out fixed penalty notices of up to £80 while council officers can impose £75 on-the-spot fines for litter.

UPDATE: 130,000 Missing Boobs Have Been Found

Lost in transportation the inflatable breasts have turned up just in time for the next edition.
The inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men's magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne. The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said. They had been due to dock in Sydney last week, but have since turned up at a Melbourne dock, where they've been sitting for a week. Workers are now frantically working to put them in bags to go out with the December 15 issue.
The magazine is expected to break the Guinness world record for the most boobs given away at one time.
If these are what they given away they should have been lost at sea.

Do you think you have a hot car?

Top 10 Most Frequently Stolen Vehicles
If it’s on this list, there’s a good chance it will be someday.
The most frequently stolen vehicles in the United States from the 2005-2007 model years.
#10 (tie) 2005-2007 Honda S2000.
#10 (tie) 2005-2007 Dodge Durango.
#8 2005-2007 Hummer H2.
#7 2005-2007 Dodge Magnum.
#6 2005-2007 Hummer H2 SUT.
#5 2005-2007 Ford F-350 Supercrew.
#4 2006-2007 Dodge Charger.
#3 2007 Cadillac Escalade.
#2 2005-2007 Ford F-250 Supercrew.
#1 2007 Cadillac Escalade ESV.