Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Some Jokes

YOUR COW
One day, a country boy, who liked the neighbor girl found himself lucky enough to be sitting with her on the top rail of the cattle pen.
As they watched a bull servicing a cow, he turned to her, with what he hoped was a suggestive look, and said, "That looks like it would be fun."
She looked over at him, and replied, rather dubiously, "Well… she’s your cow."
.
WHICH GENDER
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were waiting to see their obstetrician. Trying to make conversation, the brunette said, "I'm going to have a boy. I'm sure of it because I was on top." The redhead said, "I know I'm going to have a girl. I'm sure because I was on the bottom." The blonde suddenly burst into tears. The other women tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. "I think I'm going to have puppies," she sobbed.
.
UGLY WOMAN
An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"?
The woman says "No, he’s 9 and she’s 7.
Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies "I just can’t believe you got laid twice"!
.

Brain-Piercing: Extreme Body Piercing Idea

Yes, "BRAIN" Piercing.
Now there are no more body parts left to pierce.

Monkey Sibling Rivalry

The mom freaked out!
She runs up pretty fast, better reaction than most parents!

Toilet News

Gold-toilet tycoon goes to meet his maker
Hong Kong - A jeweler tycoon famed for creating the world's most expensive toilet died suddenly at his Hong Kong home, a newspaper said on Saturday. Lam Sai-wing, 53, the creator of a HK$38-million gold toilet listed in the Guinness Book of World Records, was found dead on Friday in his luxury apartment on Hong Kong's Bowen Road. Thousands of people visit his company's showroom in Hong Kong every week to see the solid-gold toilet, which sits in a garish bathroom with gold fittings, including a gold toilet brush holder. The self-made millionaire who moved to Hong Kong from China at 22 was inspired to build the toilet by his boyhood hero, the Russian revolutionary Vladimir Lenin, who said gold should be used to make toilets after the victory of socialism to remind people of capitalist waste.
.
Police are hunting for a thief who has been stealing toilet parts.
Investigators in Sacramento say the suspect has been taking plumbing and flushing mechanisms from two urinals in California.
And other such incidents have been reported in surrounding states.
The man is thought to dress up as a plumber to pose as a legitimate tradesman in order to carry out his robberies.
It is thought that he is taking the pieces for their value as salvage.
.
University opens trans-gender toilets
The next time you need to take a leak, figure out if you should go to the toilet or toilets with urinals.
A bid to make trans-gender students feel more comfortable has resulted in new gender-friendly toilets at Manchester University.
The longstanding stickman representing the Gents toilet has been replaced with the words 'toilets with urinals'.
And the lady that invites you to the female toilets has been swapped with words which simply say 'toilets'.
But one student at the university said: "This is ridiculous, I can not believe they are changing the signs - everybody knows the traditional male and female toilet signs, it could lead to some confusion."
.
School's stance on toilets
Students was caught short at a secondary school when they were left high and dry without any toilet paper after staff decided to remove the paper from its toilets.
An angry parent contacted the Citizen to report the tissue paper issue after his 14-year-old son was left in pain when he could not go to the toilet because of the lack of toilet paper.
"My son came dashing out of school this afternoon (Wednesday) and said he needed to go to the restroom. I asked what the problem was and he explained he needed to go because he hadn’t been able to go in school because none of the toilets had any paper in them,"
He contacted the school and was told there had been problems with pupils blocking the toilets by flushing whole rolls of toilet paper down them, which had led to flooding.
.

Is Germaphobia Out of Control

Have we gone too far when we feel the need to have our doorknobs automatically sanitized every 15 minutes to feel clean.

The HYSO Doorknob Germ Killer sprays a mist of hospital-grade disinfectant on a handle or doorknob every 15 minutes.
.
Here is someone else's way to avoid germs

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Nice Try
A robber who broke into a house came up with a great excuse when she was nabbed by the homeowners - she was sleepwalking, not breaking in.
The 42-year-old was discovered at the house in Adelaide, Australia, by the homeowners when she crept in and turned on the lights
But when police arrived at the scene she insisted she was asleep and didn't know what she was doing.
Police have, however, rejected her claims and she will be charged for breaking and entering.
.
Robbers' getaway car was too small
Guide to Bank Robbery - Rule #1: Make sure your getaway car is big enough to carry away your stolen goods.
Two dumb criminals had to leave half their loot behind because their car was too small.
The pair of armed raiders could have escaped with almost £1million after hijacking a security van full of cash - but were forced to leave most behind.
The van was later recovered with half of the money still left inside.
The five security men who were guarding the van are now being questioned by police who believe it to be an inside job.
"The bags are quite big. I consider them quite stupid. Their planning was very shortsighted," Police Chief Shakaruddin Che Mood said.
.
Man cuts his arm off with a chainsaw
A gardener who chopped off his arm in a freak chainsaw accident calmly knocked on his neighbor front door and told him: 'Please help, I've cut my arm off.'
John Stirling, 59, was trimming a tree in his garden when he slipped and sliced off the limb.
Shocked neighbor, Steve Francis, then tried to save the arm and hand by sticking them in a bag of frozen sausage rolls.
Mr Francis said: 'He wasn't screaming, he was as relaxed as can be.
I didn't realize anything was wrong until I looked down and saw his arm was missing.
'I ran inside to call the ambulance and he sat outside on a stool. 'I came out and tied his arm up with a belt and towels, the ambulance people talked me through it. 'But through it all he sat there talking away like it was normal. When the ambulance came they put him on a stretcher and asked where the arm was.
'The paramedics were working on him so I went up the road and put it in a plastic shopping bag.
Pictures and More
.
Don’t Call Me Ugly
Teenager stabbed best friend to death in Russia with a pair of TWEEZERS in a row over looks
A teenage girl has killed her best friend by stabbing her over 100 times with a pair of tweezers in a row over looks.
Pretty Kristina Danilova, 18, murdered childhood pal Olga Samoilenko in a fit of rage after being told her she was ugly and would never get a boyfriend.
She pulled her eyebrow tweezers out of her make up bag and attacked her friend, who bled to death.
Danilova told detectives: 'Olga remarked that I was ugly and would never ever find a boyfriend.
'How could I stay calm on hearing something like that from someone who I had always considered my best friend?'
.
Hit Man Always Gets His Victim
Sniper Kills French Murder Suspect From Outside Jail
Like a scene from a crime thriller film, a prisoner who faced interrogation over a murder was shot to death inside his French jail by a sniper positioned on a nearby hill.
The suspected gunman, his rifle still warm from the shooting, was later arrested as he tried to flee the scene on a motorbike.
It was the first time in France that someone in prison had been killed from outside, French Justice Minister Rachida Dati said.
The murdered prisoner was identified by a French newspaper as Sghair Lamiri, who was born in 1979 and had links to organized crime.
Lamiri was serving an eight-year sentence for robberies committed in 2001 and 2002 and was about to be questioned about a murder case, Dati said.
Ms Dati did not name the suspected gunman, but said he was 58 years old and was in custody.
.
It’s snowing on Mars
The NASA Phoenix Mars Lander has identified snow falling from Martian clouds. A Phoenix scientist says, "Nothing like this view has ever been seen on Mars."
NASA Mars Lander sees falling snow, soil data suggests liquid past," that Phoenix has detected snow falling from about 2.5 miles (4.2 kilometers) above the landing site of the spacecraft.
The snow is falling from Martian clouds within its atmosphere The NASA website of the Phoenix Mars Lander mission contains more information. However, Phoenix has shown that the snow is vaporizing before it reaches the ground.
.
'666' road sign thefts
Is the Garden State Parkway the highway to hell? Or is the New Jersey Turnpike the road to damnation? Someone keeps stealing the metal signs at mile marker 66.6 along the heavily traveled toll roads, and the New Jersey Turnpike Authority is having a devil of a time keeping up with the thefts.
It's been happening all over the country, particularly on roads with names like Route 666. Officials aren't sure if the thefts are being committed by religious zealots upset about the number's association in the Bible with the devil, by Satanic scavenger hunters, or by college students who think a '666' sign would look cool in their dorm room.
It costs as much as $50 to replace the signs, which doesn't sound like much, until you keep repeating it over, and over again.
A few years ago, highway officials in Morris County couldn't keep signs for Route 666 on the poles; as quickly as crews put them up, someone would steal them, often within a day or two.
"You almost want to put a camera out there, just to see who has this much free time," Orlando said.
.
Mad Izatie said...
Isn't 616 the true number of the beast?
Maybe they should change the number to 996. See if those crazies still want the sign.
.
616 "six hundred and sixteen" is believed by some Christians to have been the original Number of the Beast in the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible. Different early versions of the Book of Revelation gave different numbers, and 666 had been widely accepted as the original number.

.
Man hangs 'thief' sign on employee and hauls him to police station
A boss who suspected a worker of theft decided to make an example of him.
The 'thief' forced by his boss on a walk of shame through town (but guess who ended up arrested)
A boss who suspected a worker of theft decided to make an example of him - and throw political correctness out of the window at the same time.
Simon Cremer and three of his employees allegedly wrestled Mark Gilbert to the ground, tied his hands behind his back and bundled him into a van.
They then drove him to the town center where he was made to wear a sign naming him as a thief. He was paraded in front of startled shoppers before being taking 350 yards to the police station, where he was arrested on suspicion of theft.
Some might approve of the medieval approach to justice, which is reminiscent of the days when suspects were named and shamed by being sent to the village stocks or tarred and feathered.
But the stunt backfired on the accusers after they were arrested on a range of charges, including false imprisonment.
Picture and More
.

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

$1.2 Trillion
Lost In Stock Market In One Day!
.
CEOs at the Heart of the Crisis

.
Richard Fuld -- Lehman Brothers Holdings, Inc.
Fuld, CEO of Lehman Brothers, has the distinction of being the executive behind the largest bankruptcy filing -- estimated at $613 billion -- in U.S. history.

Angelo Mozilo -- Countrywide Financial Corp.
Mozilo's tenure at Countrywide was marked by his "Friends of Angelo" VIP program that gave below-market rates to the CEO's best friends and several members of Congress.

Kerry Killinger -- Washington Mutual Inc.
Killinger led Washington Mutual through sensational growth and into a slew of risky product offerings. The bank finally collapsed and sold its assets to J.P. Morgan Chase.

James Cayne -- Bear Stearns
After 16 years as CEO at Bear Stearns, Cayne handed the reins to Alan D. Schwartz -- then watched the firm collapse.

Daniel Mudd -- Fannie Mae
Mudd was ousted from his post as Fannie Mae's CEO in September when the government placed the company into a conservatorship. He will not receive a severance package.

Richard Syron -- Freddie Mac
Syron was relieved of his duties as Freddie Mac CEO as part of the government's takeover of the troubled company in September.

Martin J. Sullivan -- American International Group, Inc. (AIG)
Sullivan held the CEO post at AIG from 2005 through early 2008. The insurance company was propped up by an $85 billion loan from the U.S. government earlier this month.

Stanley O'Neal -- Merrill Lynch & Co.
O'Neal retired from his post as Merrill Lynch CEO in October 2007 after huge subprime-related losses and writedowns. His successor, John Thain, orchestrated the firm's sale to Bank of America on the same day Lehman Brothers went under.

Charles Prince -- Citigroup, Inc.
Prince stepped down from the CEO position at Citigroup in late 2007 after the company suffered billions in subprime writedowns.

Ken Thompson -- Wachovia Corp.
Wachovia's board forced then-CEO Ken Thompson from his post in June as the bank struggled through subprime-related losses.

.

That’s Why He Is The Boss
One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, the CEO explained, "I’ll tell you its very simple – it’s the only time of the week when none of you seems to want to argue with me."

.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sexy Girl Prank!

This hot girl is working out and her top pops open in front of everyone.
Sorry Guys It’s SFW

One Teeter-Totter gives Double Nut Shot


How to cut down on shoplifting

Have a dog run the shop for you

TRY to think about Tennis ..


DON'T DO DRUGS !

Why You Ask?
This is Amy Winehouse just a few years back...

This is Amy Winehouse today
What a waste
.

You never can have too much protection

Not just a Racing Harness but Double D's Airbags



Man Powers Ferris Wheel -- No Need For Horse Power

There are people in India that’s reducing their carbon footprint somewhat?

Assorted Images

Click to Enlarge
Click on and look close.
This guy put duct tape on a pair of jeans.
What some people do when they get bored.


My kind of Hobby T&A


Exercising - NSFW

Ass n Titties Work Out

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Women's bare flesh in winter 'a bigger turn-on for men'
A group of male subjects were asked, at different times of the year, to rate photos of women. They gave their highest scores in the winter and autumn, and their lowest scores in the summer.
There is no clear explanation for the variation, but the researchers say one theory is that fewer female bodies are on display in the winter, so the rarity makes them more attractive.
In the study, reported in the journal Perception, 114 men were shown pictures every three months over a period of five seasons.
There were three kinds of photographs: full body portraits of women in black swimsuits, exposed breasts of different sizes, and faces of young women.
Results showed that bodies and breasts were rated most attractive in autumn and winter, and least attractive in summer. On the other hand, there was no seasonal variation in ratings for faces -- which the researchers believe may be because women's faces are on view all year round.
.
Man Jailed for Faking Pictures of Rare Tiger
A Chinese farmer who claimed to have taken photos of a rare tiger was sentenced to two and a half years in prison on Saturday for faking the pictures, a court official and state media said.
According to official media accounts, Zhou, aged 54, heard that a reward of about $146,000 had been offered to anyone who found an endangered South China tiger in the wild, where one had not been seen for more than 20 years.
Last October, he emerged from the woods in Shaanxi with his claim of a tiger sighting, plus dozens of digital photos. The provincial forestry department rewarded him with $2,900.
While first intrigued, China's online community quickly exposed the animal as a paper tiger — an old poster propped up among the trees — because it was too shiny and did not change its position no matter where it was snapped.
The public called for an official investigation when someone produced an old poster with a photo that looked strikingly like Zhou's tiger and posted it online.
.
Man Dies After Eating Red-Hot Chili Sauce as a Dare
An aspiring chef died after eating a super-hot chilli sauce as part of an endurance competition with a friend.
Andrew Lee, 33, challenged his girlfriend’s brother to a contest to see who could eat the spiciest sauce that he could create.
Andrew, who wanted to cook for a living, prepared a tomato sauce made with red chillies grown on his father’s allotment. After eating it, however, he suffered intense discomfort and itching. The following morning he was found dead.
Toxicology tests are being conducted to try to establish if he suffered a reaction to the food.
Lee’s sister, Claire Chadbourne, 29, said that he took a jar of the sauce to the home of his girlfriend, Samantha Bailey, and challenged her brother Michael, 29, to see who could eat it.
"He apparently got into bed at 2.30am and started scratching all over. His girlfriend scratched his back until he fell asleep. She woke up and he had gone. It is incredible. Who would have thought he could have died from eating chilli sauce?
.
.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Vandal Text Messages Picture of His Crime

A teenager learned the hard way that a picture if worth a thousand words, and fines.
He sent text messages of his illegal artwork.
It caught the attention of police.

Big boy

Click to Enlarge
I click to enlarge and the only thing got bigger was the picture.
.
Hell said...
EW. If one thing in this world could make me gayer, that was it.

Dating Psychos

First Name : Amy
Last Name : Sincire
Sex : Female
Age : 21
Occupation : Cock Sucking Whore
City : Jersey
State : MI
Alias 1 : Slut
Alias 2 : Cum Junkie
Alias 3 : I'll Suck Your Dick For Coke
.

Sexy Bike Washing

Click to Enlarge




I wish I had a motorcycle

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Police arrest squatter who called them for help
Lincoln police reported the rare occurrence of arresting a man who called them for help. Officials said a 25-year-old man called police Wednesday night to say someone was trying to break into his apartment.
When police arrived, they discovered it was the apartment manager trying to get into the apartment, which was supposed to be vacant.
Police said someone had illegally changed the locks on the apartment, and the man arrested was illegally occupying it.
Police also found more than three pounds of marijuana, equipment used to grow marijuana and nearly $3,500 in cash in the apartment.
.
Stunned Resident Billed for 1.4 Million Gallons of Water
A Utah homeowner was billed for 1.4 million gallons of water for part of last winter, and even though Rick Baur disputes it, he paid the bill.
"I was blown away," said Baur, an Ogden resident who made good on the $9,700 bill in August. "It's enough to buy a used car."
That much water, the Standard-Examiner calculated, is enough to fill a swimming pool at Ben Lomond High School seven times — or a typical home pool 70 times.
Although the couple paid the $9,700, they aren't out of the woods yet. The city says they owe $1,700 for water usage in August.
.
An Iowa woman had more of a jolt than usual from her morning coffee.
The woman had seen a bat in her house, but wasn't particularly concerned about it.
She turned on her automatic coffee maker, went to bed and drank her coffee as usual the next morning.
When she removed the coffee filter that night, however, she discovered a dead bat in the filter that had gone through that morning's brew cycle.
Ann Garvey, public health veterinarian, said the woman underwent rabies treatment for the exposure, which occurred last month.
The bat was sent to University Hygienic Laboratory in Oakdale for rabies testing, but the brain had been cooked by the heat of the brewing water they wasn't able to determine if it had rabies.
.
Drug users 'overdosing on ecstasy by mistake'
Hospitals are facing an influx of drug users who have overdosed on MDMA – the main ingredient of ecstasy – because they thought they were snorting cocaine.
Professor David Nutt, incoming chairman of the Government's Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, said drug users were buying white powder but did not know what it was.
"If you are buying white powders from someone, how do you know if you are getting MDMA, methamphetamine or cocaine? It's potentially very dangerous," he said.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Caption This...............

Click to Enlarge



Making It Look Easy

Time Lapse Of Boeing 720b Demolition

Time Lapse Of Boeing 720b Demolition

Why did I do it?



Modern Restaurant in Taiwan

Toilet Restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan
I have to go around the corner and take a shit!
Why else would they have urinal and stool there?
"This Food Smells Like Shit!"

At Burger King We Employ Only The Best....

....High School Drop Outs

Yeah Right

Women say they don't think about sex that much.


Some Women Just Can't Get Enough.

It's a Dildo Washer

How else would you clean up after a female sex party.

.

Women May Your Best Vibrator Win



You know it's not your day.

.
.
Blow up doll inflates after crash car. Either that, or it was an exotic airbag.
.
It's the last thing you want to happen when you have something in your car of a personal nature.
Crashing is bad enough but when a blow-up doll inflates and pops up at the back window, the latex temptress was there for everyone to see after the Ford Fiesta and Fiat Punto crashed.

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Skeptical bank teller scares off would-be robber
Police say a bank teller in Long Island, New York, had a simple question for a would-be robber: Are you serious?
The skeptical teller's question was apparently enough to spook the female suspect, who fled the Roslyn Savings Bank in Centereach late Thursday afternoon without a dime.
Police say she walked into the bank located inside a supermarket and handed the teller a note demanding cash and threatening to open fire if the teller didn't comply.
That's when the teller expressed her crime-fighting dubiousness and asked if the suspect was serious. Police say the woman left without any money and ever showing a gun.
.
Thieves tried selling goods back to owner
Fort McMurray RCMP have laid a rare charge of extortion after two people allegedly stole a large amount of cash, a laptop computer and other items from a man's vehicle, then tried to sell it back to him.
After a vehicle was cleaned out early Monday morning, the suspected thieves called up the vehicle's owner, police said.
They negotiated the return of some of the items in exchange for more money, Const. Ali Fayad said. But when the suspects arrived to meet the owner for the exchange, police showed up instead.
A 31-year-old Edmonton man and a 20-year-old woman from Fort McMurray are both charged with extortion without a firearm and possession of stolen property over $5,000.
.
Teen Wanted Mom Dead to Pay for Boob Job
A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.
Nikita Lee Weis, 18, was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder, said Fountain Deputy Police Chief Mike Barnett.
His girlfriend, Sophia Nicole Alsept, and two men police said he hired, Juan Antonio Velez Gonzalez, 18, and Brandon Michael Soroka, 19, were arrested on the same charge.
Weis' mother, Hyun Weis, was attacked Thursday with a small wooden baseball bat at her home but escaped, authorities said. She was released Friday from a hospital.
Barnett said Weis wanted to sell his mother's car and use money in her bank accounts to pay for breast implants for Alsept, 21.
Barnett also said the suspects discussed wrapping Hyun Weis' body in plastic and dumping it in the desert in New Mexico or Arizona.
.
Oregon Hospital Tells 71-Year-Old, 'We Know You Are Pregnant'
John Grady Pippen of Gold Beach doesn't look pregnant. And he's not.
But after a hospital visit earlier this month, the staff gave the 71-year-old grandfather pain pills and paperwork explaining his delicate condition.
"Based on your visit today," the paperwork told him, "we know you are pregnant."
The retired mechanic and logger had sought help for agonizing abdominal pain at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach.
Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital's computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions.
.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Naked For PETA

When you have to go..........


Japan holds diaper fashion show for adults
One after the other, the models strutted across the stage to bouncy '80s dance tunes, all showing off designs of the same article of clothing — adult diapers.

Samuel L Jackson - NSFW

This is really funny for hockey fans.
"Do I look like a bitch? DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH?! Well, why you skating for me like a bitch?"

.
Samuel L. Jackson GPS

Just A Dumb Sign

A employee hangs out dumb sign and gets a fun response at bottom.
Click to Enlarge

Why Quarterbacks Should Not Do TD’s

TD by Quarterback ends with spiking the ball and it hits himself in the nuts

Revenge can be painful - NSFW

Labrador having sexy dream

He looked embarrassed when he wakes up!

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

German dentist extracts payment from patient
A German dentist overpowered a female patient in her home and yanked out two dental bridges from her mouth because she had failed to pay her bill.
The dentist from the Bavarian town of Neu-Ulm is now under investigation for assault and theft after arriving at the woman's home with his medical instruments to perform the unwanted surgery.
According to police, the dentist knocked on the door of the 35-year-old woman on Monday evening and without saying a word forced her into her living room and tied her hands.
In a scene reminiscent of the movie Marathon Man, he then forced open her mouth and removed the £320 worth of dental work which the woman's insurance company had refused to pay.
.
PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk
Group Says Move Would Help Humans, Cows
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.
"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.
News Video

Poll that was taken from above link
Do you think Ben and Jerry's should use human milk in its ice cream?
Votes Percentage of 43354 Votes
Yes 7376 – 17%
No 35978 – 83%
.
Women with death wish
Police had to deal with two women spotted walking between speeding cars
The women, twin sisters from Sweden, ran in front of oncoming traffic after wrestling with the police. Strangely no one was killed.
You really want to see this (Short Version)
.
The Longer Version
Swedish Twins Cause Mayhem
.
Car with more than $ 3 million in accumulated fines
.
Brazilian caught with £1m in driving fines to his name
Driver claims he didn't know about 1,000 tickets because car was not registered in his name
Police in Brazil have finally caught a driver who owes the equivalent of £1m in unpaid driving penalties after receiving almost 1,000 tickets for speeding and running red lights.
Officers pulled over Armando Clemente da Silva, 36, for a routine document check on Wednesday night, said the Brazilian news website Folha OnLine.
The tickets are worth a total of 3.4m reales and date back to 2001 when he bought his car. Police have impounded the car – worth about £3,500 - and will auction it if Silva fails to pay his fines.
Silva told police he did not receive notice of the penalties because he had always been too busy to bother registering the car in his name.
.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Squat and go Toilet

One reason why Asians are not over weight they don’t sit down.
OR HURRY UP AND GO FEMALES SO THERE WILL BE NO WAITING
.
This would be bad to squat over to use or vomit into when you're drunk.

Holy Sh*t

Weird stuff like this will happen if you do drugs, failed high school, grew up without a father, hate yourself and have no girlfriend.

Need to Laugh

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
3. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
5. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
6. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
7. Great news . . . Virginity can be cured !!!
8. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she... was happy with the Thing......

The sexiest girls of the Pac10

They call him "Lil Bill Bill" - NSFW

He’s 7 years old and he f**ks bitches in the booty.

7 Year Old Pimp
.
THIS IS WHY THIS WORLD GOING TO HELL. HIS PARENTS ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB AND TEACH THIS KID FROM RIGHT AND WRONG.

NSFW - Prank


ALL THE WOMEN HURRY AND COVER THEMSELVES EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THAT DOING SOMETHING IN HER CAR'S TRUNK IT APPEARS SHE LIKED IT.
.
Anyone up for a copy cat of this in America? LOL!!

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Cop Gets Attacked With Gas
Driver arrested after farting on police officer
A man arrested for driving under the influence in West Virginia got himself into a lot more trouble later at the police station.
Jose Cruz was pulled over Monday night on Route 60 in South Charleston for driving with his headlights off. He was subsequently arrested after failing a series of sobriety tests.
During fingerprinting, Cruz then allegedly moved closer to one of the officers and passed gas, the station reported. In the complaint, the investigating officer wrote that police noticed a "very strong" odor.
The alleged stunt led Cruz to be charged with another offense — battery on an officer — in addition to DUI and obstruction,
Picture
.
Battery on an officer??
Wow...that’s some bad ass gas if it beats up a policeman.
Lets hope the terrorists don’t get wind of it...
.
When Bumper Sticker Goes 'Beyond a Joke'
Australian gun lobbyist Ron Owen has been told he is entitled to express his homophobic views, but that he went too far with the bumper sticker: "Gay Rights? Under God's law the only rights gays have is the right to die."
The tribunal ruled that Owen — while not the registered owner of the car — had use of it and that the sticker went "beyond a mere joke."
.
Man Sues Doctor Over Stapled Rectum
A 64-year-old West Virginia man is suing a Maryland doctor for allegedly stapling his rectum shut during an operation. Ronald Watkins claims the 2004 surgery for a rectal tumor left him with permanent bowel problems. Watkins then underwent four additional surgeries after being unable to defecate for 17 days. The attorney for Doctor Manuel Casiano tells that the bowels were merely swollen shut do to other medical problems. The federal lawsuit is being heard in a Baltimore courtroom. A judgment is expected before the week is out.
.
NOTHING LIKE BEING FULL OF SHIT LITERALY
.
Man Wakes Up To Half A Sex Change
A Shelby County man and his wife said two doctors amputated the man's penis without his consent, and have filed a lawsuit.
According to the lawsuit, Philip Seaton went to have a circumcision last October. Seaton said when he woke up from the procedure, he realized his penis had been amputated.
Seaton has suffered mental anguish, pain, and has lost the enjoyment of life, according to the lawsuit.
The lawsuit was filed in Shelby County court last week against Dr. John Patterson, who performed the procedure, Dr. Oliver James, who administered anesthesia, and Commonwealth Urology, PSC.
The lawsuit states that Patterson received consent to perform a circumcision and only a circumcision, and that Seaton did not consent to his penis being removed.
Kevin George, the plaintiff's attorney, said Patterson amputated the organ after finding cancer, but he only had consent to remove the foreskin.
"Sometimes you have an emergency and you have to do this, but he could very easily closed him up and said, 'Here are your options. You have cancer,' and the family would have said, 'We want a second opinion. This is a big deal,'" George said.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Over The Top Limousines

Click on Pictures



What happens when you use the sat-nav in Russia


Why marriages sometimes don’t work out

A couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.
The counselor sits them on the couch and says 'For starters, lets talk about something you both have in common.
The husband says 'Well, neither of us suck dick.'
Well, this could be the problem.

Just Signs

Daily High Protein
Evil Taxi, I guess you need to sell your soul to catch this taxi!
That's is how it is.
The Only Time You're Able

Why did I post this?

Hard-boiled eggs can be annoying and time consuming to peel.
Tim Ferris demonstrates how easy it is to get the egg without having to peel it!

Instructions:
You need to use the freshest and healthiest eggs possiable
Cover the eggs with water and boil on low for about 12 minutes
Cool the eggs by placing them in cold water with 1 teaspoon of baking soda and ice. The baking soda raises the pH level and reduces adherence. If you choose not to use baking soda, be sure to move the eggs into cold water with plenty of ice immediately after boiling
Crack the top of the egg and remove a small piece
Crack the bottom (wide end) of the egg and remove a small piece
Hold the egg in your hand and blow vigorously into the narrow end of the egg, which will expel it out the wide end
Doesn’t get much easier than that! Just be ready to catch it when it comes out…
.

.
Anonymous said...
Cool!! I'm going try it.
.
Anonymous said...
Great idea for personal use.
I hope nobody in food services are blowing on my eggs... (wow, that sounds naughty)

"Dumb Ass" Crane Operator

What happens when the load you are lifting is not level

Extreme videos

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Man Remembers Woman’s Butt Weeks Later
An alleged bank robber was caught as she tried to raid the same branch twice - when a witness identified her by her big butt.
Police say Sandra Meiser, 26, got away with a £12,000 robbery in Norf, western Germany, after threatening bank staff with a gun.
Witnesses told officers that the raider was a woman with a "very large butt" and "powerful thighs".
Then weeks later one witness found himself behind what he believes to be the same butt as they stood in a queue at the same branch.
"He called the police and they arrested her and found her ski mask and hand gun in her jacket. He said he recognized her butt right away - he'd never forget something that big," said one bank worker.
Now Meiser is facing up to 10 years in jail on robbery and firearms charges while the 61-year-old witness has landed a £4,000 reward.
.
Woman sets tow truck on fire
A Portland woman who allegedly set a tow truck on fire as the driver was preparing to take her car faces arson and criminal mischief charges. A twenty-year-old woman was arraigned last week.
Court papers said the tow truck driver went to a Portland apartment complex Tuesday to tow the illegally parked car and became surrounded by an angry crowd.
The driver offered to release the car for $150, but police said the woman threatened to set the truck on fire if he didn't release the car.
The driver locked himself in the cab and called 911 and was told soon after that his truck was ablaze. He put it out with a fire extinguisher.
.
Drunk driver thanks the officers that stopped him.
Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.
A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me" after he was stopped early last Friday.
The complaint says he added, "I shouldn't have been driving and deserve to get caught."
According to the complaint filed in Sheboygan County Circuit Court, a Plymouth police officer saw Hyland's vehicle weaving and pulled him over.
After he failed field sobriety tests and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, or over the limit of 0.08 percent, he told officers he knew he had been drinking too much to drive.
The felony charge carries up to three years in prison.
.
"Cops told me I look like a man"
A woman driver is furious after police said she looked like a man.
Short-haired Pauline Synnott, 59, was caught speeding and admitted it in a letter to cops.
She expected a £60 fine and three penalty points for doing 52mph in a 40mph zone. But cops who looked at the speed camera photo were convinced the driver was a man.
They wrote to Pauline’s partner Roy Watkins, 65, who owns the car, to confirm who was driving.
A letter to him read: "From the copy of the photograph it appears that the driver was a male."
"I am fuming and Pauline is very upset — any woman would be if they were told they look like a man. I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused."
Picture and More
.
DAMN SHE'S ONE UGLY WOMAN
.
Eleven-year-old Sent Home from School for Offensive Shirt
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
An Aurora, Wis., father says his 11-year-old should not have been sent home from school for wearing a "Barack Obama is a terrorist's best friend" shirt. Dann Dalton, a self-proclaimed "proud conservative," said administrators at Aurora Frontier K-8 School were biased against his son, Daxx.
"It's the public school system," Dalton said. "Let's be honest, it's full of liberal loons."
School administrators said Daxx Dalton chose the suspension over changing out of the home-made shirt or turning the garment inside out.
The boy said his shirt is protected by his First Amendment rights.
"They're taking away my right of freedom of speech," he said. "If I have the right to wear this shirt I'm going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I'm going to get suspended."
The elder Dalton said he plans to fight his son's punishment in court.
.
SOUNDS LIKE HIS FATHER HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS HOMEMADE SHIRT.
.
I’m Not Ready To Die Yet
Free Funeral Winner Has Not Claimed Prize. The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy.
The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in the southern Italian town of San Marco in Lamis.
The holder of the winning ticket in the raffle is entitled to a free lined coffin, a tombstone, copper candlesticks and a grave site.
There is no deadline for claiming the prize and the winner can give it to somebody else, raffle organizers said, according to the paper.
.
$182,000 In Nickels Spill Onto Florida Interstate
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway.
A section of Interstate 95 was closed in Florida after a fatal truck crash spilled $182,000 worth of nickels onto the road, police said.
Highway Patrol troopers said the more than 3.5 million coins were strewn about the southbound lanes of the highway in Brevard County after a truck that was carrying the nickels to Miami from the U.S. mint in Philadelphia was involved in a side-swipe collision with another truck.
One of the two guards riding in the money truck was declared dead at the scene and the other guard was hospitalized. The driver of the second truck also was taken to a hospital for treatment.
.
Judge Who Used Sex Device in Court Disbarred
The Oklahoma Supreme Court on Tuesday disbarred a former judge who served prison time for using a sexual device while presiding over trials.
Former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, 61, was accused of using a "penis pump" in court and convicted in June 2006 on four counts of indecent exposure.
Thompson was released in April after serving 20 months of a four-year prison term and has had to register as a sex offender. He was suspended from the bar association in late 2006.
The opinion written by Supreme Court Justice John Reif states that discipline less than disbarment has been imposed in cases involving felony convictions.
"However, the nature of the crimes in this matter led this Court to conclude that nothing less than disbarment is appropriate. The conduct was not isolated, having occurred over a fairly lengthy period of time and on four separate occasions," Reif wrote.
Thompson maintained during trial that the device was given to him as a gag gift by a hunting buddy and denied ever using it during trials. The Supreme Court said he never responded to requests for a hearing on his disbarment.
.
Fans Complains About Skimpy Cheerleaders Uniforms
Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another make over after spectators complained that cheerleaders' uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.
After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.
"A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate," said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. "To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them."
The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.
"I'm not quite sure what will happen to them," he said.
The cheerleaders coach ordered the uniforms and paid for them with $4,200 from a spirit squad fund, part of which is drawn from student fees, Pitman said. The squad has ordered new uniforms with $2,200 in private money, he added.
Picture
.
MORE MATERIAL IN CHEERLEADER UNIFORMS COST ALMOST HALF THE MONEY.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What do you expect it's in Bulgaria

It looked like a scene from a comedy show -
a bull attempts to mount a woman.
Unfortunately the cow, named Dana, will not get off so lightly after her antics - and will now become Christmas dinner for the woman's family.
Rositza, from the village of Krustatitsa in Bulgaria, said: "My cow has never done such a thing before and has left me battered and bruised.
"Worst of all - even the donkey was laughing at me."

What do you think guys is she hot or what?

Bill Clinton says he understands why Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin is popular with voters.

Girl gets owned with funnel prank

Thong Prank

With a pair of ordinary household scissors.

Cool videos

Close call for skater

Kid shows incredible skill going down a hill but, then wipes out - missing a car by inches.

The show must go on

A fire broke out during a live radio broadcast in Greece.
.
I get paid for reading the news, not putting out fires or wait this is news

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

I’m Innocent
A Kirksville resident was arrested yesterday after being found watering 15 marijuana plants on private property north of the water treatment facility.
However, Dover says he was taking care of the plants for a friend and was unaware they were marijuana."A friend of mine asked me to water them," Dover said. "And me being stupid enough said yes."
When asked whom his friend was Dover stated, "I don’t want to turn nobody in."
Officials searched his residence located at 47 Doyle Way and found less than 35 grams of marijuana.
Dover stated those drugs weren’t his either.
"It was a baggy that was left in my shop," Dover said. "I guess I have too many friends in low places."
Dover was released on his own recognizance pending the filing of formal charges.
Picture and More
.
'I'm holding for someone else Dad!.' Sound familiar?
.
Seems funny he had drugs and growing them and then had drugs in his home. why is it he is not in jail on a 100,000 cash only bond like all the other druggies.. Oh wait, he was even released, he must be a supplier to someone in a higher up.
.
Robber Leaves His Drivers License Behind
A man with a knife who tried to rob a convenience store this morning in West Penn Township, left behind his driver's license after the clerk refused to give him any money, police said.
Authorities are looking for John Maculloch, 23, of Danville, who apparently showed the clerk his real driver's license during the 7 a.m. robbery attempt, said Officer Melissa Johnson of township police.
Maculloch took out his ID at the Fegley convenience store, 551 W. Penn Pike, to show his proof of age when he asked to buy a pack of cigarettes, Johnson said. He then pulled out a knife and demanded money.
But the clerk refused, saying, "I cannot give you money without a sale." That answer seemed to confuse Maculloch, who eventually gave up and pushed the cigarettes back across the counter. He drove south on Route 309 in a gold-colored Chevrolet Cavalier, possibly headed to Northampton County.
.
Why women need to drop their maiden name when they get married
A woman was stopped from boarding a budget jet — because her name was too long.
Ulrika Örtegren-Kärjenmäki would not fit on Ryanair’s boarding pass.
And dots on the letters invalidated it in security checks at Stansted Airport, Essex.
Furious Swede Ulrika, who was with her daughter, had to pay an extra £380 for a flight next day.
The same problem happened but an alternative pass was printed and she was allowed to fly home.
.
It was the ultimate expression of road rage.
A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames.
Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator.
She spun the wheels so fast that her tires disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire.
Onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to "F*** off."
.
Bruce the pig holds woman hostage
A pig named Bruce the size of a shetland pony held an elderly woman hostage in her home in eastern Australia. The domesticated hog ran amok on Caroline Hayes’s property at Uki in a regional area of northern NSW after wandering in from an adjacent rainforest where it had been left to live in the wild by its previous owners a few weeks ago. But by 4am (AEST) on Monday their friendship had soured when Bruce – a white boar pig weighing approximately 175 pounds. He began ramming Ms Hayes’s bedroom door, grunting loudly and demanding to be fed. He became so aggressive that the woman could not leave her bedroom in order to go to the outside toilet.
.
Woman Delivers Baby on Lawn
All alone and in labor, Jessica Higgins found the first place she could to give birth — her front yard.
The 36-year-old was driving home from the mall Tuesday when little Mary Claire gave her the shock of a lifetime by deciding to arrive six weeks early.
Higgins — with her 2-year-old son sleeping in the back seat — called 911 as she arrived at her Fullerton home, but she had already pushed her daughter out when police arrived.
"She was just standing in the driveway rocking the newborn, who was still attached to the placenta," Officer Manny Ramos said Wednesday.
Higgins' husband, Jeff, arrived in time to cut the baby's umbilical cord under the front-yard ficus tree.
.
You will think a neighbor would have seen or heard her screaming and came to help out.
But just think all the money was saved by DIY.
.
Stolen Jamie Lynn Spears Breast-Feeding Photo
A stolen photo of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding her baby girl has sparked a federal pornography investigation.
Federal and local authorities are looking for someone peddling 12 photos of Jamie Lynn, her older sister Britney Spears, her infant daughter Maddie and the baby's father Casey Aldridge.
One of the pictures shows Jamie Lynn breast feeding Maddie, and the 17-year-old's left breast is exposed were taken on Aldridge's digital camera.
Aldridge took the camera card to his local Wal-Mart in Louisiana for copies, and law enforcement believes someone at the Wal-Mart may have made extra copies.
Because Jamie Lynn is a minor, selling the photos — or buying them — could constitute a violation of federal laws prohibiting pornography. Peddling pictures of a minor's breast — even if not taken for sexual purposes, could land the seller and buyer in federal prison if they are marketed across state lines for the purpose of being lurid.
.
QUESTION: Since it was a photo of a underage female why wasn’t Casey Aldridge arrested for child porn or sexual abusing a minor?
.
Mad Izatie said...
You would think that them being famous and well off that they would be smart enough to buy a photo printer but noooo they just had to develop the photos at Wal-Mart. They probably wanted to see whether if people were going to spread the photos. Idiots.

Monday, September 22, 2008

How To...

Man's way to open beer

.
Woman's way to open beer

Just for Laughs.....

....Lady Farts at The Gym