Friday, February 29, 2008

Caption This..........

Leave a comment.
If it's good I will post it under picture and give you credit.
Gross, Nasty, WTF! etc.
mightyattom said...
Oh No! Did Cousin Itt get run over?!?
I Have Just One Word “NASTY”

Ducks on Ice

Uninvited Visitor Lurks Outside

If I were sitting in my kitchen and saw this outside my door,
I would shit my pants.

"Girls Just Want To Have Fun!"

They Done It!

The World's Tallest Snowwoman
It’s just incredible to look up at this 122′1″ beauty.
We built it, now it’s time for the world to come and see her!

Created in Bethel, Maine.
It's taken a month to construct and is over 122 feet tall.
Her eyelashes are made from skis and the buttons are truck tires.
Check out the site to see photo's of it being made.

Man took his young son on burglary run

He brought his toddler son, in footy pajamas, along with him as he robbed a medical building. That's according to Salt Lake City Police, who arrested the man today, after people recognized him from surveillance video. Justin Nuzman was captured on tape entering the building, with his small son. Officer say Nuzman stole cash boxes and medications as he trashed the place.

Only In China

A monkey riding a goat on a tightrope.

This is just Highway Robbery

Drivers in San Mateo, Calif., shell out more than $4 a gallon for gasoline, as crude oil prices extend their march into record territory, hitting $103 a barrel.

I Can See

Blind man regains sight after doctors implant son's tooth in his eye. Bob McNichol has been fighting to get his sight back, tooth and … eye?
The 57-year-old Irishman was blinded two years ago after an aluminum explosion at a recycling plant.

His sight has been miraculously restored after doctors inserted his son’s tooth in his eye. "I thought that I was going to be blind for the rest of my life."

Dogs trap mail carrier, flatten tires

A mail carrier was trapped inside her car for nearly two hours at a home near Hanover after a pair of dogs attacked her tires, flattening three of them. Robin Barton had to summon help by cell phone on Wednesday. When the police arrived, the dogs attacked the cruiser's tire as well. Authorities were preparing to tranquilize the dogs Judge and Justice, a Rottweiler and a pit-bull mix, before the surprised and apologetic homeowner arrived. Stephanie Dekelbaum, the dogs' owner, called them "generally sweethearts" and blamed the attack on a tire toy the dogs had recently been given.
I found this picture before this story happen and I said that's worth keeping.

Take a trip back to the 60’s

This is the one of the best presentations that I have seen online--very well done.
Just click on the link and sit back and enjoy the memories. Great photos and facts.
Thanks B&P

How not to take down a palm tree

Small Bits of News

Minnesota Man Received Huge UPS Shipments of California Marijuana
A Hummer-driving Minnesota man claiming he was a student in need of extra cash was busted for allegedly receiving 213 pounds of marijuana shipped by UPS from California. The Ramsey County, Minn., Attorney's Office charged Doanzell Gieddarr Johnson, 27, of Inver Grove Heights on Thursday with first-degree sale or possession of marijuana. Los Angeles police already had arrested three people on charges of shipping the marijuana, and Twin Cities authorities were alerted that the parcels were sent to their jurisdiction. Police arrested Johnson and seized more than $5,000 in cash, as well as Johnson's Hummer, which police said was used to pick up the parcels, according to the report.
Jealous man emails lover's nude photos
A UK man is facing jail after he emailed pictures of his lover to everyone in her address book when he found out she was flirting with other men.
Stephen Hailes, 48, had been in an "internet romance" with Karen Parker, 36, after the pair met in a chat room last August, the Daily Mail reported.
During the romance Parker, a married mother-of-two, sent a series of nude pictures of herself to Hailes, a former tree surgeon.
Hailes became angry after he hacked into Parker's email account and discovered she was flirting with other men. To get revenge he forwarded the lurid pictures to all the contacts in her email address book.
"She learned of his action when her friends contacted her and asked her why she had sent them naked photographs of herself.
Shop-owners sold chocolate cake with human feces
Funny taste: A hungry customer was horrified when they realized the chocolate cake was covered in human feces
Two shop-owners were today fined for selling chocolate cake - which had been sprinkled with human feces.
A horrified customer ate the foul-smelling gateaux but noticed that it didn't taste or smell "quite right" and handed the cake to public health scientists.
The analysts soon established that the sweet treat was covered in feces and legal proceedings against the shop owners were started.
Pssst! Want to buy a Ferrari?
Italians are used to buying bogus Gucci bags or Rolex watches to look stylish but police found a new height of craftsmanship and cunning when they broke up a ring selling fake Ferrari cars for a fraction of the real price. Police accused 15 people of building the blood red sports cars and selling them to car fanatics on a budget, most of whom knew they were buying a counterfeit classic.
Car body workers who police called "very able" cobbled together mostly fake parts and a few original components. They used body parts from other makes of automobiles, such as chassis, roofs, hoods, trunks and doors. The body parts were modified to look like Ferrari classics such as the 328 Gtb, which went out of production in the late 1980s.
Some of the cars sold for about 20,000 euros, about a tenth of the going price for some versions.
Police confiscated 21 cars, 14 of which had already been sold, and seven in production in Sicilian garages.
Cook accused of adding foreign matter in a steak
A restaurant cook is out of a job and facing a felony charge after being accused of hiding pubic hairs in a ribeye because a customer complained the first steak served to him was overcooked.
Kevin Hansen, who dined at the Texas Roadhouse with friends and family Saturday, said he ordered a 16-ounce ribeye cooked medium rare, with a warm, red center, according to the criminal complaint filed against cook Ryan Kropp.
Georgia Man Kills Motorcyclist Who Was Following Teen Daughters
A Georgia man was arrested for murder after he allegedly shot and killed a motorcyclist who he said was following his teenage daughters home from a Target store.
Richard Harold Gear's two daughters, ages 17 and 19, called their 45-year-old father from their cell phones to tell him they were being followed. When they got home their father was at the end of their driveway with a pistol.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Getting the Shot

What's for Dinner

This is a real bat skull, with tongue and eyeballs included, and served for dinner at a restaurant in Koror, Republic of Palau.

Do you need a extra day to study for a test?

What do you think does she swallow?

Have you ever notice his finger?

Ooops! I have already done this one

Bullies NSFW

Badly disfigured woman begs for the right to die

A French woman badly disfigured by facial tumors caused by a rare and incurable disease has appealed to President Nicolas Sarkozy to allow her to die by euthanasia.
In an interview with the Agence France-Presse news agency, former school teacher Chantal Sebire, 52, begged for the right to end the "atrocious" suffering inflicted on her by the disease which has rendered her face unrecognizable because of growing tumors.
She asks the French media and Mr Sarkozy to allow her a dignified death. Euthanasia is illegal in France, unlike in come other European countries such as the Netherlands and Belgium.
Ms Sebire told AFP that she suffered from a very rare disease called esthesioneuroblastoma, which attacks the nasal cavity. It had left her blind and had robbed her of almost all other senses, leaving her in terrible pain. The disease caused "atrocious bouts of pain that can last up to four hours at a time". Pleading to be allowed to die serenely, the mother of three said that only 200 cases of the disease had been reported globally in the last 20 years.

What a “Bitch.” - NSFW

“Red-Fleshed” apples

Apples in a vibrant shade of red may soon be in Britain’s shops.
The new variety — so far unnamed — is being grown by Swiss experts seeking a healthier fruit.
Early tests show the strain is high in antioxidants, which help to prevent cell damage.
And they hope to have them in stores within two years, when there is enough supply.

Watch this to know what “SlamBall” is.

A little bit of every sport rolled into one….

Prisoner drew a treasure map to stolen jewerly

Imprisoned burglar that drew a treasure map leading
LAPD to stolen jewelry worth half a million.
Another story here.

Golfing Accident

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. ‘Please allow me to help I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,’ she told him.
‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several longmoments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?
He replied: ‘It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken.’
Thanks B&P

Sharing a bowl of food or..............

.........It’s my bowl; no it’s my bowl, NO IT’S MY BOWL!

Her Cheerleading Career Is Over

When you need to tell the "TRUTH"

Woman Who Admitted to Cheating on 'Moment of Truth' Says She Did It for Money .
The wife of a New York City cop who admitted to cheating on him and wanting to be married to another man on Monday's episode of Fox's
"The Moment of Truth" says she did it for fame and fortune.
But Lauren Cleri, 26, and her husband, NYPD Officer Frank Cleri, 24, came away from the show with no prize money, no immediate job offers for her and a possible divorce in the future after being eliminated when a polygraph detected a "fib."

Small Bits of News

CD’s are an endangered species
More teenagers ignoring CDs, report says
48% of teenagers bought no CDs at all in 2007, up from 38% in 2006. Music downloads continue to grow, though, with iTunes leading the way.
The only reason they would buy a CD is for collection purposes. For instance, when the new CD (whenever that is) comes out that they would prefer having the CD case just to add to their collection.
Viagra overdose gives man blue vision
A sex-starved divorcé who defied doctors to order an extra dose of Viagra online has blamed the sex drug for turning his vision blue. Heating engineer John Pettigrew, 58, ignored doctors' warnings and topped up prescription pills with tablets bought on the internet after enduring a year without sex. Now he is suffering from a permanent vision change which turns everything he sees into shades of blue.
Picked the Wrong Bar
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - An armed robber picked the wrong target when he raided an Australian bar where a biker gang was holding a meeting. He ended up hog-tied and in a hospital.
The man and an accomplice, wearing ski masks and waving machetes, stormed into a club in a western Sydney suburb shortly before 9 p.m. Wednesday and yelled at patrons to lie down as they tried to rob the cash register, police said Thursday.
About 50 members of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club had just started a club meeting in another room, and the bikers jumped up to intervene.
One robber escaped by leaping over a balcony, while the other tried to flee through a service entrance, the club's president, who identified himself only as "Jester."
"We caught him at the fence and crash-tackled him and hog-tied him to the ground and waited for the police to get there," Jester said.
"I don't think he did his homework very well," Jester said of the ringleader. "He picked the wrong night."
Woman cheated bottle deposit
KOPING, Sweden, Feb. 27 (UPI) -- Police in Koping, Sweden, said a woman was caught using a fishing line to cheat a bottle deposit machine at a supermarket while her young son shoplifted.
A police spokesman said the 42-year-old mother was spotted by a security guard at Willys supermarket using a single recyclable bottle attached to a fishing line to claim multiple deposits. The woman allegedly instructed her 11-year-old son to shoplift from the store while she used the machine.
Not once but, twice
Feb 27, 2007 - PLAISTOW, N.H. - Police said the same man tried to rob the same bank, wearing the same clothes and telling employees the same thing on Tuesday as he did two weeks ago. The outcome was not the same.
Two weeks ago, the robber got away with cash from the Sovereign Bank branch. On his second attempt, tellers refused to give him money and he took off empty-handed.
Police and bank employees said it was the same guy. The robber said he had a gun and demanded money both times.
Witnesses told police the man got away in a black Chevrolet Avalanche with New Hampshire license plates that contained the numbers 223.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Funny Commercials For Power Tools

Be sure to watch all the way through.
DeWalt Power Drill

Milwaukee Impact Wrenches

Redneck Community

Click to Enlarge

56 Comments Here


I thinking they ment Peonies

"Do you see it?"

What am I supposed to see?

You thought you had bad hair days

Static Electricity
Hair Raising Phenomenon

Sexy Video Ads - NSFW - Duh!





What a "Dumb Ass"

Tow truck towing driver that doesn't know his job.

Is this Cow on Steroids?

Do you have a pet peeve?

Well this guy has one that irritates him to a point that he does
a blog about the misuse of the lowercase “l.”
Ever notice hand-written signs with letters in all-caps, except for the letter L? It looks like an uppercase i ... WHY DO PEOPlE WRITE lIKE THIS?
Click to Enlarge

Check out his blog lowercase L

Do you know what this is? NSFW

Premium Organic Congealed Infants' Blood
A delicious and fun new way to get your daily dose of blood! Instead of drinking it or bathing in it, now try spreading it! Although thick and rich, our regular, liquid Infant's Blood isn't quite thick enough for spreading. Our scientists have come up with a top-secret method of congealing infants' blood while still preserving all the nutrients and fresh, straight-from-the-baby flavor you've come to expect from products!

Choices….. Some are “NO BRAINERS”

Thanks god

German Mardi Gra

Actually, Mardi Gras in Germany is called Karneval or Fasching.
Check out this float with a USA flair!!!

Another Crazy Idiot

Guy intentionally sets fire to his parachute with a flare gun so that he can land with his backup

Small Bits of News

The Mother of all Panty Raids
About 500 pairs of women's underwear were reported missing Friday from the Victoria’s Secret store in the Treasure Coast Square mall.
A store co-manager told Martin County sheriff’s investigators at 1:30 p.m. Friday she “noticed the front side of the panty bar in the ‘pink’ room was missing panties,” the report states.
The co-manager went to tell a manager, and when they returned they spotted some mesh shorts also missing.
Along with the roughly 500 pairs of panties — each valued at $7.50 — store officials said three dozen pairs of mesh shorts and about three dozen tank tops were missing. The total amount of missing merchandise is $5,245.50.
Sheriff’s officials were flagged down to this incident while investigating the theft of $4,679 of clothes from the Hollister store, which is directly across from Victoria’s Secret.
This isn’t the first time hundreds of pairs of panties have been stolen from this Victoria's Secret store.
Sales associates found almost 400 pairs of pink designer panties missing from three storage drawers near the back of the store in January 2007, according to a Martin County Sheriff's Office report. The panties were worth more than $3,600.
Horse racing bet makes man a millionaire
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man celebrated his 60th birthday in unexpected style at the weekend when a 50 pence ($1) bet on the horses turned him into an instant millionaire.
Fred Craggs, from Yorkshire in northern England, was not even aware of his win when he walked into a branch of the William Hill betting agency to see how he had done with his accumulator bet.
When he was informed of his good fortune he was said to have turned rather pale and muttered that he had better go home to tell his wife.
“Starbucks Closed”
All 7,100 U.S. Starbucks were closed for training.
The company shut all stores from 5:30 p.m. till 9 p.m. to train 135,000 baristas to "perfect the art of espresso."
The corporate memo on the closure noted that 12,600 seconds passed without a Starbucks serving coffee anywhere in the United States of America.
The country hadn't really known life without Starbucks since the first store opened in Seattle in 1971.
Picture caffeine-deprived patrons with their faces pressed up against the glass as their servers practice foam, no foam, decaf, mocha frap, cappuccino, vanilla soy latte half caf with extra foam and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
Bus Driver Abandoned Passengers 60 Miles Short of Final Destination
A driver who apparently took her work rules very seriously abandoned a bus full of former prisoners along a highway because her hours for the day were over, police said.
The 40 passengers had been paroled or released from the state prison in Huntsville. Some wore ankle bracelet monitors. They were aboard a charter bus that was headed Thursday to a terminal in Dallas but wound up 60 miles short.
"In 31 years in law enforcement I've never seen anything like this," Corsicana Police Sgt. Lamoin Lawhon said. Police said the bus was chartered from Greyhound Bus Lines Inc. The driver pulled over in front of a convenience store around 4 p.m. and told the passengers her allotted driving time was up and another driver was on the way.
Police said there were no incidents involving the passengers while they were stranded.
"Their behavior was exemplary," Officer Travis Wallace said.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

6 in 1 VIDEOS

When you put stuffed animals in the back window of the car.
Trunk Monkey
Suburban Auto Group in Sandy, Oregon has a great series of “Trunk Monkey” commercials created by r-west. Hilarious stuff, more cars need this feature. This video is a compilation of a few of them. To see the rest, click the Trunk monkey link above.
“Rock Me Gently”
Great song, I dare you NOT to sing along!

The original came out in ‘74 sung by Andy Kim. Click Here to view it.
Failed Handstand on a Moving Treadmill

Harassment in the Animal World
Kitty Kitty

Picture of Obama Leaked

February 26, 2008 WASHINGTON (AP) --- A photograph circulating in the Internet of Democratic Sen. Barack Obama dressed in traditional local garments during a visit to Kenya in 2006 is causing a dustup in the presidential campaign over what constitutes a smear.
The Associated Press photograph portrays Obama wearing a white turban and a wraparound white robe presented to him by elders in Wajir, in northeastern Kenya. Obama's estranged late father was Kenyan and Obama visited the country in 2006, attracting thousands of well-wishers.
The gossip and news Web site The Drudge Report posted the photograph Monday and said it was being circulated by "Clinton staffers" and quoted an e-mail from an unidentified campaign aide. Drudge did not include proof of the e-mail in the report.
"I have not previously seen this photograph," Clinton spokesman Howard Wolfson said Monday. "I'm certainly not aware that anyone in this campaign has anything to do with it."

SNL Returns From Writers Strike With New Obama Impersonation

Take Time To Laugh Every Day

Train Ride
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged French lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, 'Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?'
The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, 'You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?'
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, 'Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired.'
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, 'You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!'
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, 'You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'
Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'
Wheelbarrow Sex
After hearing a couple’s complaints that their intimate life wasn’t what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions.
“For example,” he suggested, “you might try the wheel barrel. Lift her legs from behind and off you go.”
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
“Well, okay,” the hesitant wife agreed, “but on two conditions - First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second,” she continued, “you have to promise we won’t go past my mother’s house.”

Have You Ever Gone.........

.....Squirrel Fishing

All you need is a string and some acorns and some hungry squirrels.

SB&P in the news

The poll ended early because the majority didn't like the changes.
I have changed back to the way I was posting.
I want to change my blog header but I have to do some thinking.
Any Suggestions?

Why it is that all the “GOOD TASTING” foods are always “BAD” for you?

The 20 Worst Foods in America
Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing

2,900 calories 182 g fat 240 g carbs.
Even if you split this "starter" with three friends, you'll have downed a dinner's worth of calories before your entree arrives. Follow this up with a steak, sides, and a dessert and you could easily break the 3,500 calorie barrier.

Taking it to the next level

A Grenade in a Washing Machine

Guess the person’s crime they committed

Look at their mugshot here

Are you ready to put this in your “ASS”?

This is a unique piece of Nickelodeon merchandising
Yes, it’s musical.
And yes, it’s clearly marked for rectal use.
It actually plays the Spongebob theme in your ass when your temperature is taken!

I Love NAKED PETA Protesters

But, they never do it where I live.

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation

With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

Diebold Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early


Small Bits of News

Accused Witch Gives Birth While Being Hung
February 26, 2008 - A PREGNANT woman in Papua New Guinea who was hung from a tree after being accused of sorcery gave birth to her baby while struggling to free herself.
Nolan Yekum and her husband Paul were dragged from their house and hung from a tree by fellow tribesmen who accused them of sorcery after the couple's neighbor suddenly died.
Their ordeal occurred in Kilip village near Banz in Western Highlands Province.
The woman and her baby girl, her third child, were doing well in Mt Hagen Hospital after two weeks in hiding, the report said.
Her husband said men entered their house in the middle of the night with a rope and tied it round their necks, accusing them of sorcery over their neighbor’s death.
They were dragged outside and hung from a tree, he said.
"We managed to loosen the noose to get our feet on the ground ... we were able to free ourselves. "My wife, who was about seven months pregnant, delivered the baby while struggling to free herself.
Man Found Living Under A Crack House
PALATKA,FL -- Palatka Police say they busted a crack house Monday morning, and what they found at the house surprised them.Officers went to 1107 South 10th Street to serve an arrest warrant and arrested six people in the house.

Officers also found someone living underneath the front porch. In a space that was only four-and-a-half feet tall, there was a television; bed, chair, and microwave... even a toaster.
Assistant Chief James Griffith with the Palatka Police said, he's never come across something like that before. "As far as setting up a residence with electricity running off of extension cords underneath a house, no -- I can't recall any like that," Griffith said.
Police say 23-year-old Thomas Tyrone Williams was living under the house. He was arrested for drug possession. While investigators said they found one of the worst crack houses they've ever seen and an unusual dwelling underneath it, they also discovered seven children in the house.
All of the children are younger than six years old. "Most disturbing was some of the crack cocaine was found in one of the backpacks that belonged to one of the children," Griffith said.
Naked trio seen having sex in moving car
Feb. 25, 2008 VICTORIA, British Columbia -- Police in Victoria, British Columbia, was alerted by startled motorists to a car on the Trans Canada Highway with a naked man and two naked women having sex. Calls began coming in Sunday afternoon from witnesses, some of whom trailed the car into the provincial capital city, Victoria Police Constable Kris Rice told the Victoria Times-Colonist. "There were some reports that they seemed to want attention from other drivers as they engaged in sexual acts," he said. The owner of the vehicle was traced from the license plates and officers went to that address to await the car's return, Rice said. On arrival, only one of the women was inside with the male driver, both in their 20s, the report said. The unidentified driver said he had dropped the other woman off. "Both were determined to be in the nude," Rice said.The woman was taken to a hospital for psychiatric assessment, while the driver will likely only face such charges as driving without due care and attention, as police didn't witness any sexual acts, the report said.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Did You Learn These Too?

25 Things I Learned From My Mom
Love your Mamma, for she will give you the tools to build a successful life.
Even though Mother’s Day is still months away, appericiating your mother is always in season.

Here’s why…
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
Because I said so, that’s why.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
Stop acting like your father!
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
Just wait until we get home.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
You are going to get it when you get home!
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
20. My mother taught me HUMOR (so that I could write this blog… ummm yea).
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
You’re just like your father.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

IFH Mondays (NSFW)

A New Drug

Urban Eyesores

Science Fair Experiments.

High School sure has changed since I was in school.