Sunday, September 30, 2007

My Number......

Do you have a "Dirty" mind?

This is just?????????????

Doctors remove an ancient, calcified fetus from an old lady's body (VIDEO).

Being Easy

Chicago Suburb Uses Humor Stop Signs

OAK LAWN, Ill — A big red sign that says "Stop" sometimes isn't enough to get everyone to stop. Maybe a laugh will get their attention.This Chicago suburb has installed second stop signs beneath the regular ones at 50 intersections with messages, including "WHOAAA" or "Stop ... and smell the roses.""I thought it might make people smile and take notice," Mayor Dave Heilmann said as he launched the campaign Friday. "You've got people on their cell phones, their BlackBerries and iPods while driving. Those are all distractions. Hopefully, when they see a sign they're not expecting it might make them stop."
These are Clearly Photoshop.
Stop me if you've heard this one
OAK LAWN Traffic signs offer humor with a message

Oak Lawn gets quirky new stop signs
STOP . . .Oak Lawn's funky signs: • *In the Naame of Love • *And Smell the Roses • *Really. You Gotta Stop. • *Right There Pilgrim • *Or We'll Hunt You Down • *Hold it Right There Buster • *Then You Can Go • *Whoa Wait a Minute • *Stop Pleeeease • *Or the Police Will Yell at You • *Not an Optional Sign • *It's Really Self-Explanatory • *Means That You Aren't Moving • *Even When No One's Looking • *Whoa • *Billion Dollar Fine

The new signs are red octagons, just like the real stop signs, but instead of just "Stop" they say "Stop ... right there pilgrim" and "Stop ... in the naame of love." Naame? Think of the drawn-out pronunciation in the hit by the Supremes.It might be too soon to know whether the alternative signs will work. But while the mayor was posing for a photo with one of the new signs, a driver sped by without stopping.

Which One Is More Weird?

The man with the Gilligan's hat or the mushroom he is holding.

Look at His ASS!

Lookie Here!

I never want to be in this position with a audience.

I wonder what so interesting that it drew a crowd?

Small Bits of News

Woman Goes After Boyfriend With Hammer, Police Say
A Mesa woman chased her live-in boyfriend with a hammer after he tried to break up with her, police said.
Pamela Ruth, 47, was booked for prior outstanding warrants, criminal damage, domestic violence and false reporting to law enforcement.
Click Here To Read More
No wonder he wanted to break up with her.

Toilet Paper Thief On The Loose In Wisconsin
Someone is either too cheap to buy his own toilet paper or planning a big prank.
Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men's public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June.
Click Here To Read More

Suspect Named As Kiddie Crook Mastermind
Seaside Heights police have named a suspect they say was videotaped using his granddaughter to steal a purse from an arcade.
Police signed an arrest warrant for Daniel Twomey. The 52-year-old lives in Teaneck. The theft happened just after midnight Sunday at Lucky Leo's on the boardwalk.
Click Here To Read More

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Bike Hits 130.7 mph. On Snow

33 year old Austrian Markus Stoeckl has smashed the World Speed Record for series mountain bikes.
Stoeckl, nicknamed "Hercules" because of his 6'4", 220 lbs. frame, broke the 8 year old record by 14 mph on a 2000 meter, 45 degree run in the Chilean Alps. Because of the extreme cold, Hercules had to hold his breath for the 40 second duration so his helmet didn't fog up.
Crazy, indeed, but we wonder how on Earth he stopped. Those disc brakes were surely useless. See the video below, wherein Stoeckl makes it all look effortless.
Markus Stoeckl breaks record for series mountain bikes by 23 km/h [Intense Cycles via Bicivilizate]

Jessica Biel to Play Wonder Woman in 'Justice League' Movie!

Jessica Biel is in talks to lasso up as Wonder Woman in Warner Bros.' all-star superhero film "Justice League of America."
Potential deal marks the first piece of casting to emerge from the DC Comics-based ensemble project, which is expected to feature Superman, Batman, the Flash and Aquaman in addition to Wonder Woman.

Sexy Young Female....

Hey we all want something we can’t have that’s life right.

High School Security Gaurd Going Beyond His Job

High school security guard's questions spark tampon protests
A high school security guard is accused of asking girls whether they were menstruating, leading to a protest in which some students wore tampons on their clothing or carried purses made of tampon boxes.

Samantha Martin, 14, said she had a small purse with her at Tri-Valley High School in Sullivan County, northwest of New York City, when security guard Mike Bunce called her out of class Sept. 19. She said Bunce told her she couldn't have a purse unless she was having her period, then asked her whether she was.
The school had banned backpacks in hallways this year for safety and security reasons.

The Surfer Bike

Perhaps no surprise that this is the brainchild of an Australian who likes cycling.
This is the StreetSurfer, a contraption that looks like a bike, but is handled like a surfboard. Its unusual four front wheels allow the rider to negotiate obstacles more easily and maneuver the machine using their body weight, rather than the handlebars.
Tony Varrone was inspired to create the StreetSurfer after seeing a bicycle prototype with the front wheel replaced by four skateboard wheels in 1998.

He spent years perfecting his design and it is now arriving in British shops — with a £ 399 = 806.30 U.S. dollars price tag.

Pump Cast News

You may have seen this but I think it's funny as hell.

Somebody - QUICK! - turn the water on!!!

What are you looking at?
What are you two doing?

This guy is just frickin' nuts

Those are BEES thats on him!

You will not believe the information you will find with your Zip Code!

Get The Skinny on your Zip Code

Friday, September 28, 2007

Enlarge your Penis

Alicia Silverstone Bares All for PETA Ad

Actress Alicia Silverstone, a longtime vegetarian advocate says she wasn’t always a vegetarian, but she’s always loved animals. So I think that she's more than happy to bare all for the campaign of the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) organization.
Longtime PETA supporter Alicia Silverstone has taken off her clothes in a new ad campaign for the organization.
In a series of print and video spots, the very naked (though covered where it counts) actress poses, sprawled out in front of a pool.
In the print version, the words “I’m a Alicia Silverstone, and I’m a vegetarian,” appear above the nude actress. Silverstone says the same words in the video rendition of the ad, also noting that “there’s nothing in the world that’s changed me as much as this. I feel so much better and have so much more energy.”
The PETA-Silverstone campaign will air on Food Network, Lifetime and E! in Houston before expanding nationwide.
PETA chose Houston for the campaign because they noted in a statement, “it repeatedly ranks among the least healthy in the country.”

Show of Hands

Enlarge to read her shirt

I Will!

Serious Gamer

This Girl Loves Computer Games
I am guessing it is a NEC Plasma.

Bath Time with Noodles

Japanese, Thinking up Crazy Shit

No Time Gum: Chew Your Toothbrush!
No time to brush your teeth?
No problem - if you've got No Time Gum! This multifunctional minty mélange contains tiny granules that scrub your teeth clean as a whistle while you chew. Is this cool, or what? Gum that works as hard as you do while saving you time and, presumably, dentist visits. I can just hear Mom now... "Chew your gum before going to bed!"

"Man Smell" Gum - Not Just for Athletic Supporters

Yes, the title threw me too, but that's what "Otoko Kaoru" translates to. Luckily there's much more to it than that - like the previously mentioned Fuwarinka Scented Gum, Man Smell gum contains those special Rose oils that escape through your skin after chewing. This one exudes a manly Menthol Rose aroma, not just your average sweaty-guy funkiness.

Sex Gum for Men: Like Chewable Viagra?

Suplitol Tongkat Ali Gum for Men contains a variety of natural herbs and extracts proven (they say) to improve blood flow and muscular function - and they don't mean in your arms, regardless of what the ad photo displays. The gum also contains something called "plant testosterone"... hey, have you ever seen a limp tree?

What is it?

This is what the first set of handcuffs looked like.

Yeah and That Ketchup is Slow too...

Sometimes its better not knowing what you eating.

What Twinkies are made from?
America is well-known across the globe as a country with an obesity problem, a problem that's become so bad; our snacking habits have turned us into a so-called "Twinkie nation."
Over 500 million of the popular golden cakes are sold each year, but what exactly are they made of?
CBS 2's Dr. Holly Phillips decided to dissect the anatomy of a Twinkie, worshiped today on sites across the Web and even on the big screen. Dr. Phillips says there are 39 ingredients packed into the dessert, and all but one is processed.
The ingredients cellulose gum, calcium sulfate, and polysorbate 60 are also used in sheetrock, shampoo, laundry detergent, and even rocket fuel. Author Steve Ettlinger spent five years tracking down the source of every ingredient found in a Twinkie. "I was surprised that so many not only came from petroleum, but at least five came from rocks," Ettlinger says.The vitamins, artificial flavors, and colorings all come from petroleum. Phosphates from limestone make Twinkies light and airy. "Sorbic acid is made from natural gas. That really blew my mind," Ettlinger says.
And the creamy middle?" There is no cream in the cream, as they say. It's mostly Crisco," Ettlinger says.

Read the story

Small Bits of News

Girls are nolonger nice and sweet
Police break up brawl at Chuck E. Cheese
Police were called to break up a weekend fight among a rowdy group of teenage girls at the family-themed pizza restaurant, Chuck E. Cheese. The more than a dozen girls, between 13 and 16 years old, went berserk in the restaurant's lobby Saturday night, police said.Witnesses said the fight erupted with two girls using profanities near the front entrance and ended with several girls involved in a physical fight. The group had apparently been dropped off and left alone at the restaurant, known for its singing and dancing animatronics rodents.Assistant Police Chief Alfred Sexton said the incident wasn't the first time Chuck E. Cheese was nearly overrun by unruly teens. » Article here

Robbers Hypnotize Store Clerk
We know criminals go to extreme lengths to get what they want, but this might be the first account of robbers hypnotizing a store clerk to steal money.
The robbery happened at a convenience store in New Hampshire.
Click Here To Read More

'Scohol' zone

Not Bad Manners But Good Food

Here's a burping elephant

WTH? Two-headed turtle

Two-headed turtle comes out of its shell
The two-headed red slider turtle has turned up at a reptile center in Pennsylvania, where owners are amazed by its freak appearance. The unnamed curiosity has two heads on opposite sides of a single shell, as well as six legs and a combined tail. A collector in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, passed the freak of nature to Big Al's Aquarium Supercenter in East Norriton. Jay Jacobi, the shop's exotic reptile manager, said: "The two heads seem to have their own thoughts, operating independently." There are more photos and a news video on this page.

It's not in my job description

Road Workers Paint Stripes Over Road Kill Instead of Moving it....
This show you how lazy we are getting.

You can be charged with the weirdest of assault weapons

Man charged with “coughing” assault
Morrisville police have charged a man with assault on a government official after an officer said the man coughed into his face during a traffic stop. Officer Chris Gill said in his report that Kent Kauffman looked into his eyes before "hacking" in his face three times, according to Morrisville spokeswoman Stacie Galloway. Kauffman said he did cough from the window of his minivan but did so toward Gill's waist. "He says I coughed in his face," Kauffman said. "But that would only work if he had a 4-foot-long face. "Kauffman said he developed a cough after his dog died last week. He said Gill put him in handcuffs and threw him into the side of the patrol car. Gill pulled Kauffman over Tuesday for not wearing a seat belt. He now faces a misdemeanor charge and, if convicted, could spend up to 60 days in jail.

First it was a bag of "Cheetos" then a "Onion" and now a "Cough" what's next???

This makes me squeamish just watching it.

Ouch, girl gets drilled.

Bowling would be better if it was hockey.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Does that mean I can have all the Krispy Kremes I want to eat?


Oktoberfest 2007 - world's largest beer festival

Oktoberfest 2007 - world's largest beer festival

"No Shit Blondie"

What is it? #1

CLUE - To be able to insert.
To put hole in what to insert what?

What is it? #2

CLUE - It will give you the edge you need.

What is it? #3

CLUE - Majority of people in the United States sees this every day while driving.

Yeah, I Love You Too!

Small Bits of News

Handcuffed Mexican kids steal U.S. border agent car
Three Mexican minors detained in California on suspicion of smuggling drugs stole a U.S. Border Patrol car while still wearing handcuffs and drove it back across the border to Mexico.
Police in the Mexican border city of Mexicali said on Tuesday the three boys had been driving a pick-up truck on a remote Californian highway when a Border Patrol agent stopped them.
Suspicious they were carrying marijuana; he handcuffed them and put them in his patrol car while he searched their truck.
"As the agent was doing his search, he left the vehicle running and the keys in the ignition, so one of the lads, still wearing handcuffs, grabbed the steering wheel and they headed back to Mexico," a police spokesman said.

Giant ads set for world's busiest runways
Advertisers aiming to reach high-flyers with no alternative distraction will soon have a new method: adverts the size of three football pitches seen by plane passengers coming in to land.
UK-based Ad-Air launched its new service in London on Tuesday; offering brands the chance to place huge adverts near the runways of some of the world's busiest runways.
Ad-Air, backed by 5 million pounds ($10 million) of private equity finance, said it had spent five years securing sites around the world's busiest airports including London Heathrow, Paris, Geneva, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Tokyo and Abu Dhabi.
The first advert will appear in Dubai next month.
Paul Jenkins, managing director of Ad-Air, said the adverts would appear in "clutter-free environments and moments free of any other commercial messages."
Operations Director Haakon Dewing told Reuters the adverts could develop to produce a moving image that starts each time a plane comes into sight.
The adverts, which are low to the ground and 20,000 square meters in size, will only be illuminated where local legislation allows.

Man convicted of murdering parents and sisters won't get estate
KEOSAUQUA (AP) --- Shawn Bentler, who killed his parents and three teenage sisters last year at their southeast Iowa home, is not eligible to receive his family's $2.8 million estate, a judge has ruled.
Bentler also can no longer use the estate to cover his legal expenses, Van Buren County District Judge Daniel P. Wilson ordered in the ruling Friday. State law prohibits convicted murderers from getting any benefit from the slayings, including inheritance by will. The estate will be divided between two girls Bentler fathered with two women, lawyers have said.
Bentler, 23, is serving life in prison for driving from his home in Quincy, Ill., last October and shooting his family in their rural Bonaparte home. He was convicted in May of five counts of first-degree murder, but has filed an appeal to the Iowa Supreme Court. During the trial, prosecutors argued that the unemployed father wanted to inherit money from his parents' successful grain elevator and lumberyard businesses. They said that led Bentler to shoot his parents, Michael and Sandra, and sisters, Sheena, 17, Shelby, 15, and Shayne, 14, each in the head with a .22 caliber rifle.

Man Fined For Sending Text Messages To Ex-Girlfriend
A Virginia Beach man has been convicted of sending annoying text messages to an ex-girlfriend.
A Chesapeake judge fined Brian Query $50, plus $72 for court fees, last week. The charge carried a maximum fine of $500. It's a misdemeanor to call another person's telephone intending to annoy them.
Click Here To Read More

Lawyers are sneaky bastards

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them", replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill".
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Boy of 14 who shot a girl in the eye is let off for being 'too young'

A boy of 14 who shot a girl in the eye has escaped punishment — because it is claimed he’s too young to realize what he was doing.
Lorna De-Ste-Croix, 15, was nearly blinded after the lead pellet from an air rifle embedded in her eye.
Her attacker, who can’t be named for legal reasons, was arrested. But now the Crown Prosecution Service say he will not go to court — because he is not old enough to understand the danger of his actions.
A CPS letter to the family says there is “insufficient evidence” to proceed with a charge of grievous bodily harm. It adds: “The prosecution would have to prove the youth intended to cause injury or was reckless.“Although an adult ought to know that one should never pull a trigger of a gun if there is anyone in front of him, such sensible considerations may not be expected of a youth.”

That's One Way

Easy Catch

Just Give It Up

Why you don't piss off your girl friend

Click to Enlarge
Disgruntle Worker = This
Pay Back is a BITCH
You get a broken window, Oh yeah a free bucket of shit dumped in your car too!

Hide and go seek

Manhunt finds missing boy – asleep under bed.
Police with dogs, dozens of neighbors and a helicopter spent two hours searching for a missing five-year-old boy who eventually turned up — asleep under his bed. A search was launched for Alex Olver — during which 11 people rummaged through his bedroom — after his parents reported him missing on Tuesday evening in Saltash, Cornwall. The town mayor, a local football team, troupes of teenagers and elderly residents all turned out to help search. But Alex was eventually discovered by a sniffer dog safe and well covered by a blanket under his bed. Alex's mother, Clare Olver, 35, yesterday described him as "a cheeky little monkey — who sleeps like a log". Mrs Olver said seven people and four police officers searched the house from top to bottom looking for Alex. "The dog handler came in and went upstairs," she said. "I then heard him shout 'Look what I found' and he came downstairs with Alex asleep across his chest."

Doggy Window

How much is that doggy in the window?
Dog's window to the world at least beyond the fence.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Geography Lesson of the Day

These are names of actual locations:

Arsoli (Lazio, Italy) Bastard (Norway) Beaver (Oklahoma, USA) Beaver Head (Idaho, USA) Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK) Chinaman's Knob (Australia) Climax (Colorado, USA) Cunt (Spain) Cunter (Switzerland)Dikshit (India)Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border) Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic) Effin (Limerick, Ireland)
Fucking (Austria) Fuku (Shensi, China) Fukue (Honshu, Japan) Fukui (Honshu, Japan) Fukum (Yemen)Hold With Hope (Greenland)Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)Lickey End (West Midlands, UK) Little Dix Village (West Indies) Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland) Middle Intercourse Island (Australia) Muff (Northern Ireland) Nobber (Donegal, Ireland) Pis Pis River (Nicaragua) Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines) Seymen (Turkey) Shafter (California, USA) Shag Island (Indian Ocean) Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK) Tittybong (Australia) Tong Fuk (Japan) Turdo (Romania) Twatt (Orkney, UK) Wank (Germany) Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany) Wankener (India) Wankie (Zimbabwe) Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe) Wanks River (Nicaragua) Wankum (Germany) Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)

Guys, How "BIG" Is Yours?

Professor of Andrology in Australia slams men with small balls.

Small testicles a sign of ill health

Testicle size is what counts for a clean bill of health and being able to produce children.
Most men are unaware of how important the size of their testes is in relation to their health, Professor Rob McLachlan, director of Andrology Australia, told Fairfax newspapers.
"I've seen men coming in with (testicles) the size of a sultana and they haven't realized (it's a problem) - it happens all the time," Prof McLachlan said.
Men need to be aware of their testicle size, to measure their own health.
"They don't know how big their testes should be - what's normal and what's abnormal," Prof McLachlan said.
Small testes can indicate there is a testosterone deficiency. This can make a man feel tired, lose muscle, gain fat, lose sex drive.

Skipping stone record...

Is that the best that you can do?

A woman calls into work......

Woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma" she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today"

Man loses 6 stones on baked bean diet 6 stones = 84 pounds

A Suffolk man lost six stone in six months on a diet of plain baked beans.
James Skeates, 28, has trimmed down from 21-stone to 15-stone by eating at least two large cans of beans a day.
The carpenter, of Haverhill, says he now has the energy to keep up with his young children Eleanor, three, and George, 10 months.
James joined his local Slimming World Class in March and lost around a stone a month to hit his target weight, reports the Cambridge Evening News.
James said: "I was getting through two tins a day, eating them in my breaks at work, then at home with jacket potatoes, wholemeal bread or pasta. I was never hungry, but the weight kept coming off. Isabel Hooley, a dietician for Suffolk NHS Primary Care Trust, said: "Baked beans are fine as part of a healthy, balanced diet, but we would not recommend more than one portion a day.
"Baked beans are low calorie, so if you eat them instead of cheese on toast for example, I would expect you to lose weight."

"It didn't really cause me any problems eating all the beans, but now I suffered a bit more wind."