Thursday, December 4, 2008

Man can keep £10,000 in cut-up banknotes.

A street cleaner who found £10,000 in cut-up bank notes has been told he can keep the cash - as long as he can piece it back together.
Graham Hill has in front of him the most lucrative jigsaw puzzle in history, a combination of £10 and £20 notes he found while emptying bins.
It was unclaimed for six months and Mr Hill can have it, and any of it he can piece back together will be legal tender.
Lincolnshire Police launched an investigation but gave him it back when no-one came forward.
Det Con Nick Cobb said: "Following extensive inquiries, there was no evidence that the money was stolen or linked to any criminal activity.
The Bank of England and established that the money was genuine and according to the Bank of England, the finder is obliged to try to piece it back together.

New Financial Terms for 2009

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
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