Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Congratulation

You're a Sleeze Bag

Forward and Reverse


JUST SAY “NO” TO CRACK


Seabreacher

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Why It Sucks Being an Egg:

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You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes you ten minutes to get hard.
You have to come in a box of 18 with 17 other guys.
The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.
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"Cockberg", the Penis-Shaped Iceberg:

Believe it or not this is not "Photoshopped"! Could it be a subtle ironic message from Mother Nature to humanity, liable of the global warming which is melting the polar ice?

Why Does Sex Makes Men Sleepy

Ladies, you've just had a passionate roll in the hay with your significant other (or drunken mistake). Since you're a girl, all you want to do after sex is cuddle and talk about marriage and missing your period. But when you roll over, he's already snoring into his pillow!
Anyone who's ever seen a female stand-up comedian has heard this story. He just wants to shoot his wad and doze off, probably immediately after leaving the toilet seat up! Am I right ladies? It fits in nicely with the stereotype that men don't care about romance, and that women are emotionally needy. But it's just a cliche, right?
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It's not their fault.
There's a scientific reason men fall asleep after sex.
According experts, an orgasm literally changes a man's body chemistry. Combine that with the physical exertion of sex and chances are that most dudes will go down like they were hit with a tranquilizer dart.
So please, ladies, stop treating it like a personality flaw. And don't let him have sex with you if he's also flying a helicopter at the time.
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US Warship will not divert its course!

Guy Uses His Head To Move Bricks

But He Wasn’t Using His Head "TO THINK" How To Do It
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Newsman in the News for Snooping
A popular TV newsman from Philadelphia has been sentenced to three years of probation for obsessively hacking into his co-anchor's e-mail and leaking gossip about her to the press.
A federal judge ruled Monday that 51-year-old Larry Mendte must serve six months of home confinement during his probation. Mendte also must perform 250 hours of community service and pay a $5,000 fine.
Mendte had admitted hacking into Alycia Lane's e-mail hundreds of times.
The pair had anchored the evening newscasts on the city's CBS affiliate from 2004 to December 2007, when Lane was fired for various off-camera incidents. Mendte was fired in June after the FBI searched his home and office.
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Mans best friend shot him
Police say a Tillamook, Oregon -area man was injured Saturday morning while duck hunting when his shotgun discharged after it may have been contacted by his dog and struck him in the leg as he was outside his boat.
Oregon State Police Sergeant Todd Hoodenpyl, says 23-year old Matthew Markum and his brother were duck hunting at Tillamook Bay at approximately 7:30 AM when the incident took place.
They were near Bay City, using an 11-foot open aluminum boat to go from the land to their decoys. The men were accompanied by their 3-year old male Yellow Labrador.
Hoodenpyl says the shotgun blast happened while both hunters were outside of the boat, the dog and Matthew's loaded 12 gauge shotgun were inside the boat. The shotgun round put a hole in the left side of the boat and struck Matthew Markum's leg
Picture and More
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UFOs, aliens and ghosts are believed in more than God
Believers in UFOs, aliens and ghosts outnumber those who follow mainstream religions, a survey has found. While 54 per cent of people believe in God, 58 per cent believe in the supernatural.
Researchers found women were more likely to believe in the supernatural than men, and were more likely to visit a medium.
Nearly a quarter of the 3,000 questioned by researchers claimed they had an encounter with the paranormal.
Some 37 per cent said aliens and ghosts were the basis of their belief system.
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"Make Some Extra Cash! Drug Use and Criminal Record OK"
The Albuquerque Police Department has turned to the want ads for snitches.
An ad this week in the alternative newspaper The Alibi asks for "people who hang out with crooks" to do part-time work for the police.
It reads in part: "Make some extra cash! Drug use and criminal record OK."
Capt. Joe Hudson says police received more than 30 responses in two days. He says one tip was a "big one" but won't elaborate.
An informant whose tip helps officers arrest a drug dealer could earn $50. A tip about a murder suspect could bring up to $700.
It's not the first time the department has run ads. In a program 10 years ago, police received so many calls they turned the phones off.
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Suspect goes on wild ride with stolen ATM
There's probably an art to stealing - and cracking open - ATMs. But a man apparently hasn't figured out what it is.
Police say a 49-year-old man from Leavenworth Kansas was arrested for prying an ATM loose from a credit union early Sunday by using a stolen skid loader. Then, in a bid to break open the cash machine, police say the suspect used the skid loader to drop the 3,000-pound machine straight down a 50-foot wooded embankment.
But things didn't go as planned. When the skid loader dropped down the hill, the man went with it.
The suspect took a wild ride down the embankment from the skid loader cage. The man, skid loader and ATM tumbled downhill through the woods.
He was found trapped inside the battered machine and was taken to a hospital for his injuries, which were not considered life-threatening. He could end up facing federal charges.
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How Ironic That It Happen In Leavenworth Since It's Home For The Best Known Federal Prison And Since Robbing A Bank/Credit Union Is A Federal Crime.
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Man wins 2 vehicles in 10 days
In a span of 10 days, a man learned he won two automobiles in separate contests. Michel Horton from Topeka Kansas picked up his newest ride on Friday, a 2008 "Bon Jovi Special Edition" Saturn Outlook, at a dealership in Topeka. He was notified of the win on Oct. 15.
The entry also netted him a guitar and gold-plated Bon Jovi records.
But that was his second free vehicle. Horton was notified Oct. 5 he had won a Mitsubishi Lancer in a contest sponsored by Bic lighter.
As if that weren't enough, he also won tickets to a recent Kansas City Chiefs game in another drawing.
Horton said rather than collecting the Lancer, he opted to take the cash-in value of $28,800 for the car. He said that will help pay the taxes on his winnings.
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FLORIDA IN THE NEWS
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Scrub-a-dub...whoops!
An elderly Pensacola woman was trapped in her own bathtub for three days
But miraculously, she survived by drinking the water.
Harriet Patterson, 82, was about to take a bath when she fell in the tub and broke her arm and dislocated her pelvic bone.
Patterson said she tried to get help by banging on the door, but remained hopeful as the days went on.
Patterson's neighbor eventually came to her rescue. She is now undergoing rehabilitation treatment for her injuries.
You gotta love this woman's attitude.
Says Patterson: "The first thing I did was I laughed at myself and thought, "Honey, you got yourself in quite the predicament right now."
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Woman charged in DUI was driving without pants because "I was hot"
A cop discovered a Bonifay woman asleep in her car, slumped over the wheel with the engine running,
And one more thing: She wore no pants.
But give her points for being truthful.
She told the cop she'd just gotten her license back after having it suspended for a DUI, her third.
When the cop asked for her driver's license, she handed him a cigarette.
She admitted to having a few mixed drinks and said she was unsure where she was. But that was obvious. She was facing the wrong way on the shoulder of a state road.
She couldn't get past the letter "M" in reciting her ABCs, even after several attempts.
When the cop asked why she "had no pants on," her answer was this: "I was hot."
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Cops' Conversation Could Let Accused Drug Dealer Go Free
A Daytona Beach Florida courthouse video shows Daytona Beach police ignoring a judge's orders and the video could let an accused drug trafficker off the hook.
The video shows police talking outside a courtroom minutes after a judge told them not to. For about two hours, the video goes on and police are opening their files, having an animated discussion and, at one point, the defense attorney said they may even be reenacting their arrest of a cocaine dealer.
A security camera caught the scene a few feet from a courtroom door. An officer appears to be having an active conversation with other cops. He gestures, points and may be re-enacting, an attorney said, the arrest of Antonio Herndon.
Herndon was arrested in January with hundreds of grams of cocaine and $30,000 in cash. But during a recent hearing at the courthouse, where a judge ordered police sequestered and not to talk about the case, the camera caught them talking.
Video
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