Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How did we ever got by not known

Butt / Face Towel
Butt / Face Bar Soap
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Trunk Monkey Strikes

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The King of Beers on the rocks.

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NO EXCEPTIONS

A pilot was furious at being searched before flying dropped his pants and exposed himself to security staff, then raged: "Do you want to search this?"
His flight had to be cancelled as police were called and the pilot was quizzed — but not arrested.
Thirty-seven passengers on the Swiss International Airlines flight from London City Airport were delayed for two hours yesterday as the row erupted.
"The pilot was asked to take off his shoes and belt like everyone — but completely lost the plot.
"He pulled down his trousers and pants to completely expose himself, then turned to the security guard and asked angrily, ‘Do you want to search this?’"
The incident happened at the East London terminal’s downstairs security gate, which is not used by the public.
"All pilots have to go through these procedures so no one can understand why he reacted the way he did. Perhaps he was having a bad day."
An airport spokeswoman said staff followed Government guidelines on searching pilots. The passengers caught the next flight.
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At the Zoo

Kiss My Ass
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Where did he learn this...

Somebody needs to hide his "Lassie" videos
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Granny

Grandma found my vibrator
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Grandma hits a beerbong!!
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Grandma grows Marijuana in her Backyard
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A Ride Thru Airport X-Ray Machine

In ISTANBUL Airport a man finds alternative way through airport security
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Dealer Texted Police To Demand Drugs Back
A dopey drug dealer who texted police about his heroin and crack cocaine stash has been jailed for six years.
Andrew Law was forced to to dump his jacket containing drugs worth £1,400 in a garden while being chased by officers.
After shaking them off he then began ringing and texting the phone he had left in the pocket demanding the coat back - not knowing it had been handed in to police.
Detectives promptly traced the messages and arrested Law.
Law, 23, was jailed for six years at Gloucester Crown Court after admitting five charges of possessing Class A drugs with intent to supply and four of dealing.
In one message he said: "You can make some money if you get in touch."
When no-one replied he texted: "I know which f****** garden it was. I'll burn your house down. Get in touch otherwise you'll get f*** all apart from a gun in the mouth."
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Man charged in bizarre kidnapping
Police say he took Detroit woman to apartment in Toledo, put diaper, handcuffs on her, read from Bible.
A ride turned into a harrowing, three-day ordeal for a 22-year-old Detroit woman who police say was held captive in a Toledo apartment by an acquaintance who handcuffed her, dressed her in a diaper and read Bible passages to her.
When the woman broke free and banged on the door of a nearby apartment for help, the occupant, seeing the woman in a diaper with handcuffs on her wrists and feet, thought it was a joke, police said.
Troy Brisport, 34, of Toledo picked up Shykea Boykin about midnight Wednesday in Detroit, after she told him she didn't have a place to stay, police and relatives say.
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Goat breaks into home, eats cake
What do you get when a goat follows a dog into a house?
For Sherry Shirley of Westford, the answer is a big mess.
When she opened the front door of her home on Lake Road to let her dog in Saturday morning, a full-grown goat burst into the house, jumped onto a kitchen counter and helped itself to a freshly baked chocolate cake, according to the Dodge County Sheriff's Department.
Deputies responded to a call from Shirley at 11:43 Saturday morning, but a neighbor had dragged the goat from the home by its horns before officers arrived, patrol captain Molly Soblewski said.
"The goat didn't do a lot of damage. It knocked some dishes to the floor that broke and began eating the chocolate cake she had just made," Soblewski said.
The chocolate cake caper, however, was far from a perfect crime. Deputies followed the goat's tracks to a nearby farm on Mill Road and had it behind bars by 12:35 p.m. Saturday.
Soblewski said the owners of the goat will not be cited.
"It was just an unfortunate circumstance," she said. "I feel sorry for the lady, but it is kind of funny."
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Man tries to swipe 'male enhancement tablets'
A Port St. Lucie man’s attempt to swipe "male enhancement tablets" from a Wal-Mart Supercenter ended with a trip to jail instead, according to a recently released affidavit.
Veroy Omar Chin, 29, got a trip to jail Wednesday after trying to abscond with Extenze Male Enhancement tablets from the retail giant in the 5100 block of Okeechobee Road.
A loss prevention worker spied Chin, of the 1700 block of Bella Vista Way, as he selected the tablets, which according to a Wal-Mart web site entry can "increase your size" and are "doctor approved, clinically tested." He walked out without paying and was detained.
Chin reportedly was "argumentative and uncooperative" and asked to be given a break and afforded a chance to pay for the tablets, also billed as being able to "enhance pleasure & performance."

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Cat nips owner's lung cancer
This was no ordinary CAT scan.
But Lionel Adams believes it saved his life.
Now recovering from surgery to remove cancer from his lung, Adams, 59, is crediting his eight-year-old feline friend Tiger for alerting him and his family doctor to a mass in his lung.
"He would climb into bed and take his paw and drag it down my left side -- he was adamant there was something there," he said.
"And it was right where the cancer was."
Adams, who has suffered from bronchitis, asthma and emphysema, had showed no symptoms of lung cancer before his kitty's bizarre examination.
But about seven months ago, after mentioning the cat's strange behavior to his family doctor, he was referred to a specialist who caught the disease at stage one in his left lung.
"They did an X-ray, they spotted something on the left side," he said.
To get rid of the cancer, doctors removed a piece of his lung about the size of a pop can that had been shredded in half.
And now Adams is heralding Tiger as a hero for potentially saving his life.
"I think if he hadn't done the pawing part it could have gone on for another five, six months undetected," he said.
"I feel like it could have been a lot worse if the cat hadn't had tuned in to something there, to something he felt was wrong.
"I would say he's my hero."
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