Monday, August 31, 2009

Worst survival guide


Camouflage Techniques


Caption One or All............


Pot Protects Brain From Booze

Brain Scans Show Less Damage
Marijuana may protect the brain from some of the damage caused by binge drinking, according to a new study.
Researchers at the University of California San Diego performed brain scans on 16- to 19-year-olds in three groups: binge drinkers, binge drinkers who also smoke pot, and those with very little drug or drinking experience.
Binge drinkers showed damage in their white matter. But those who drink and smoke showed more damage than the control group in only three of eight areas of the brain. In seven of the areas, their brains were in better shape than the binge drinkers.
Researchers said in a news release from the Marijuana Project that the result was unexpected.
They said it could be that marijuana somehow stops alcohol from damaging brain cells.

Weird Food

Grilled Chicken Gizzards

Braised Cow Lips

One of a Kind......

Yeah don't laugh at least I have one.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

How far would you go to save your job?
French factory workers are rejecting redundancy - by stripping in order to save their jobs.
Staff members at struggling boiler manufacturer Chaffoteaux et Maury in Brittany have dared to bare all for a nude calendar, in a desperate attempt to save 204 jobs from the axe.
The calendar features 13 naked men, with nothing to preserve their modesty bar strategically placed helmets and masks.
Workers have revealed they plan to spend the profit raised on a trip to Italy, where they will stage a protest at parent company Ariston Thermo Group.
Union representative Brigitte Coadic said: "Our aim is to show there are workers here who will do anything to save their jobs, even take their clothes off."
Should have driven the Jaguar
An alleged drug dealer seemed to not only have made a costly mistake of running a red light Tuesday with drugs in the trunk, but driving a Chevy instead of his Jaguar.
Jonathan Walsh, 20, of Summerfield, told Sumter County Sheriff's deputies he thought he only had to yield for the red light while turning right, after they stopped him.
Walsh was jailed on possession of marijuana and drug trafficking charges after deputies said they found more than 300 grams of suspected marijuana and almost 170 grams of cocaine in the vehicle.
According to a sheriff's incident report, deputies stopped his blue Chevy car after it ran a red light while making a right turn onto Buenos Aires Road in the Lady Lake area.
While talking to officers, the report added, his 26-year-old Fruitland Park passenger spontaneously said that they didn't have any drugs in the car.
Deputies brought a K-9 to the vehicle, which allegedly smelled narcotics.
During a search, deputies found the bag of drugs in the trunk. The affidavit added that Walsh admitted the drugs were his, he sells them and knew they were in the car -- but he had forgotten the drugs were there.
He said if he had remembered, he would have driven his Jaguar instead, according to the report.
The report noted Walsh said he kept drugs in his car because of burglaries to his home.
More drugs in the crotch area.....
Unzipped driver pulled over, pulls pipe out of her pants
An Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office deputy who had "recently had a conversation" with a woman driving without a license, saw her behind the wheel of a car again on July 10.
He stopped the car and asked her to get out, according to her arrest report. When she did, he noticed her pants were unzipped.
He asked if she had any weapons or narcotics on her person and she said she had a pipe in the front of her pants. She then reached in and produced a pipe that resembled a test tube and had a milky white substance in it.
The contents tested positive for cocaine, according to her arrest report.
The 22-year-old was charged with possession of paraphernalia and knowingly driving while her license was suspended or revoked.
Judge blows steam because her coolness
Circuit Court Judge Marci Goodman was feeling cold and thought that others in her courtroom during a hearing were cold, too.
So she summoned two maintenance workers.
But the workers refused to come into her courtroom because one of them was still smarting from another recent encounter during which the judge dressed him down over the chilly courtroom.
So the judge really lost her cool.
Goodman ordered a Santa Rosa County deputy working security at the Milton courthouse to "tell them I'll threaten them with jail," according to an audio recording from the hearing.
Then she blew more hot air. She ordered the workers held in an adjacent room.
She said she had wanted the workers to "see how cold it was."
"I did not see it as a detention, per se," she said
Maintenance supervisor Thad Allen arrived, and Goodman asked if the air conditioning could be shut down.
"Sure we can," Allen said. "Can you turn my people loose?"
"Sure we can, as soon as you get it shut off," Goodman responded. She added, "Let them just sit in there and freeze like the rest of us."
The workers were released after about 20 minutes.
Man keyed car because it was parked in handicapped spot
A 71-year-old man with no legs is accused of scratching a Nissan parked in a handicapped space at a Walmart Super Center, apparently thinking the Nissan driver was abusing the parking privilege, according to a police spokesman and a report released Thursday.
The 39-year-old victim on Wednesday told an employee at the Walmart that she was picking up her handicapped mother. She was gone for about 30 minutes, and reportedly noticed someone had keyed the driver's side of the 2009 Nissan Altima.
A check of the surveillance system reportedly showed a legless man in a motorized wheel chair come out of a white van.
The man "powered his wheel chair across the parking lot to where (the victim's) car was parked . . . and came from the front to the rear of the driver's side," a report shows.
Stopped while exiting the store, Keith Brian Berry, 71, apologized for the "most stupidest thing" he's ever done. He said "people always abuse the handicapped parking when they are not handicapped."
Berry apologized to the victim, saying he didn't think of the possibility her mother could be handicapped. The Nissan had a handicapped decal hanging from the rear-view mirror.
Berry, of the 3400 block of Bromeliad Court, was issued a notice to appear in court Sept. 23 on a criminal mischief charge. Berry was told he could be arrested for trespassing if he returns to Walmart.

Cheating husband's faked kidnapping leads to $4,000 manhunt
Wikler Moran-Mora texted his wife to say he had been kidnapped and wouldn't be let go until he gave his captors money.
His worried wife called law enforcement.
He texted her again, saying, "Don't call, take it easy, they said they will let me go," and "Everything is alright, I'll be home soon," a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office report states.
After a full-scale manhunt, deputies tracked him down. Turns out, it was a hoax – Moran-Mora faked his kidnapping so he could cheat on his wife, sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway said.
The incident began shortly after midnight Wednesday. About 6 a.m. Wednesday, Moran-Mora, 38, of Tampa, was arrested and charged with giving a false report to law enforcement. He has been released on $500 bail.
Twenty deputies — including canine units — searched for Moran-Mora on Wednesday morning.
Deputies traced Moran-Mora through his cell phone and found him at a 7-Eleven on West Waters Avenue. He told deputies he is a church elder for a Seventh Day Adventist church and had sent his wife the texts even though he had never been in danger.
Moran-Mora declined to comment today other than to say the situation with his wife has been resolved. His wife said she had nothing to do with what happened but confirmed she received text messages from him.
Callaway said the search cost $4,000.
"Thank God we didn't have a legitimate emergency that would have required those resources," he said.


Bear climbs ladder, escapes skate park

Steep concrete sides kept animal trapped until officials helped out

Friday, August 28, 2009

What's a Obamatone?

Need to See More

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Inmate farted in officer's face before punching him
A mighty rude wind flew in the face of corrections officer Mathew Knowles on May 13. Knowles was three days on the job when inmate Kareem Haskins, 21, farted in his face at the Monroe County Correctional.
During a routine cell search, Knowles patted Haskins down. While Knowles worked down the right leg, Haskins said, "I've been saving this for you," and let one go.
"I said nothing and continued my search," Knowles testified Monday at a preliminary hearing in front of Judge Jolana Krawitz. Knowles claims the gas was a prelude to a punch.
Haskins was charged with aggravated assault after the cell search turned into a scuffle. A videotape of the incident exists but it has not been made public. It will likely be a key piece of evidence in the case, which has been held for court.
The $8.00 Ice For The Perfect Drinks - (Oops Not News)
A Japanese company has introduced a mold that seamlessly creates a perfect sphere, no chipping and shaving required. Simple place a chunk of ice into the metal press and, as it melts, the device will close around the ice forming a ball, which is then released by the flick of a switch.
Spheres of ice are preferred by serious on the rocks drinkers because the reduced surface size means that the ice melts at a slower pace, keeping your drink from getting watery to quickly.

Bizarre Laugh


MAOAM sour candies feature 'fruits in pornographic poses'

A father-of-two has spoken of his disgust after spotting fruity cartoon characters appearing to have sex on SWEET wrappers.
Simon Simpkins was buying Haribo MAOAM sour candies for his children when he noticed the 'pornographic' illustrations of limes, lemons and cherries romping with each other.
Mr Simpkins, of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, said: 'The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter.

Fruity: According to Mr Simpkins, the lime has a 'particularly lurid' expression on its face during its encounter with a lemon
Debauched: The lime enjoys a similarly smutty experience with a willing pair of cherries
'The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.'
He said: 'I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.'
A spokesman for Haribo said the 'fun' packaging of the sweets was introduced in Germany 2002 and added: 'This jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans.'

Prisoner sues after catching hepatitis C in jail

A violent drunken bully who killed his girlfriend's three-year-old son is suing for damages because he caught hepatitis C in jail. Killer Mark Mietto, who escaped with just four years in prison over the 2001 killing of little Jonathan Guiver, has demanded compensation for his "pain and suffering". His plight has attracted little sympathy from the shattered dad of his young victim.
Drunken Mietto smashed Jonathan's skull at the boy's mother's Vermont home in June 2001. He pleaded guilty to manslaughter, saying he had dropped the young boy on his head accidentally, a claim rejected by the court. Jonathan had complained Mietto had harmed him previously and an autopsy found bruises on his body consistent with previous child abuse. Now Mietto claims he is suffering and deserves to be paid damages.
In a writ lodged in the Victorian County Court on Monday, the 34-year-old alleged he had contracted hepatitis C from fellow inmates at Port Phillip Prison. His suffered liver dysfunction, fatigue, abdominal pain, night sweats and pain and suffering, the writ said. The former laborer and painter was also permanently "incapacitated for employments to which he is suited", the writ alleges. Mietto has accused the private prison's operator, G4S Custodial Services, of failing to protect him from the deadly disease. The prison operator should have warned him about the dangers of sharing electric razors and other personal items with other inmates, and should have isolated prisoners with the disease, the writ claims. It is believed Mietto has claimed to the prison he was infected with hepatitis C while using a communal electric razor in the prison's high-security Charlotte Unit, which is designed to manage difficult prisoners. Mietto was shifted to the unit after several prisoners alleged he was standing over them.

Husband takes punishment from wife for doing wrong

A wife took revenge on her husband after she discovered he was having an affair by making him stand in public with a sign saying 'I cheated'.
William Taylor stood shame-faced on a busy road with the large homemade sign draped round his neck saying: 'I cheated. This is my punishment.'
Taylor said his wife had come up with the humiliating punishment after she found out he had cheated on her.
William Taylor was forced to stand at a busy junction wearing this sign after his wife caught him cheating on her with another woman
The wife, who has not been named, found evidence of his affair on his mobile phone.
Taylor, of Centreville, Virginia, said his wife had wanted him to stand with the sign for a week.
But after a couple of hours he received a call to say his punishment was over.
He told a local TV station in Virginia that he thought his wife was joking when she suggested the idea.
'I thought she was kidding, but she was serious,' he said.
'I figured I got to do what I got to do to makes things right. So here I am.'
Dozens of drivers honked their car horns as they saw Taylor standing forlornly on the busy junction during the morning rush hour.
He began his punishment at 9am and two hours later received a call from his wife telling him he could return home.

The fight from right to left driving

Rebellion is stirring in the normally laid-back Pacific island nation of Samoa, with threats to torch buses and stage mass demonstrations – all over an official plan to oblige citizens to drive on the left.
Thanks to a brief period of German rule in the early 20th century, Samoans have always driven on the right. The government plans to change that on 7 September, making this the first country to swap sides since Ghana in 1974. The rationale is that the switch will encourage Samoans' relatives in Australia and New Zealand to send home their used right-hand-drive cars. At present, most vehicles on the streets of the archipelago are gas-guzzling American left-hand drives.

Cillit Bang used to clean nuclear waste

The £1.99 household product Cillit Bang is being used to help clean plutonium stains at the defunct Dounreay nuclear power plant in Caithness.
Dounreay Site Restoration Limited (DSRL) said it would help reduce the £2.6bn cost of dismantling the site.
The cleaner's use has also drawn interest from operators of other nuclear sites in the UK.
A different domestic product has already been applied in the cleaning of contaminated glass tubes.
Randall Bargelt, of the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority, which owns Dounreay, said such innovative thinking would save taxpayers, who are funding the cost of the dismantling project.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

KFC Sandwich Replaces Bread With Fried Chicken

KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich

They Are Inside Me

Maggots in My Head
While living inside the host, the presence of
botflies creates painful pustules that secrete pus and other fluids.
Someone’s Nostrils Full of Maggots

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Stimulus Checks Sent to 1,700 Inmates
The inspector generals office for the Social Security Administration is looking into the problem as part of its broader audit on stimulus spending. The Social Security Administration acknowledged the $425,000 glitch following a report that nearly two-dozen inmates in Massachusetts had wrongly received the $250 stimulus checks.
A total of 3,900 inmates not receiving benefits were sent a stimulus check and that of those, 2,200 were due the payment because they were out of prison late last year. The other 1,700 were mistakenly sent the checks.
The number was "relatively small" given the fact that 52 million total payments were made, and that most of the mistaken payments have been returned by the correctional institutions. He did not provide specifics for how much of the $425,000 had been returned.
Robber Dies After Spray Painting Face to Conceal His Identity
A robbery suspect in South Carolina has died after police say he spray painted his face to conceal his identity during the crime..
Investigators said 24-year-old Thomas James started having trouble breathing immediately after the crime and died shortly thereafter, the station reported. Cause of death had not been released.
Officers said 23-year-old Michael Gregory Thomas held five employees of a cell phone store at gunpoint and stole wallets, purses and credit cards.
The employees identified Thomas as a suspect.
Giraffe penis repeatedly stolen over and over
Visitors to a tourist attraction in Berlin have been making off with an unusual memento -- the 30 cm long penis of a Lego giraffe.
The Lego phallus belongs to a six meter tall model that has stood outside the entrance to the Legoland Discovery Center on Potsdamer Platz since 2007.
"It's a popular souvenir," a spokeswoman for the center said Tuesday. "It's been stolen four times now ..."
The penis is made out of 15,000 Lego bricks. It takes model workers about one week to restore the long-necked animal's manhood at a cost of 3,000 euros (2,600 pounds), the spokeswoman said.
The center is now erecting a metal construction to protect the giraffe's genitalia.
Turkeys Found Stuffed.......With Cocaine
Two turkeys are recovering after being cut open by drug smugglers and stuffed with five kilograms of cocaine.
Police were amazed to find the drug surgically implanted in the bloated birds in Peru.
Acting on a tip-off, officers stopped a Turismo Ejecutivo SRL bus outside the city of Tarapoto in the central jungle state of San Martin, officials said.
Police were puzzled when they found the turkeys in the crate, but didn't find the cocaine, Tarapoto's anti-drug police chief Otero Gonzalez said.
They then noticed that the two turkeys were bloated.
"Lifting up the feathers of the bird, in the chest area, police detected a handmade seam," he said.
A vet extracted 11 oval-shaped plastic capsules containing 1.9 kilograms (4.2 pounds) of cocaine from one turkey.
A further 17 capsules with 2.9 kilograms (6.4 pounds) were recovered from the other, he said.
Their feathers were ruffled but both turkeys survived the procedure.

Sears Web Site Offers Grill to 'Cook Babies'

The Web site for department store giant Sears offered a gruesome sales pitch Thursday — a grill that could "cook babies" and be used to roast body parts.
The goof, first reported by, listed any grill viewed by visitors to the company's Web site under the category of "human cooking > Grills to Cook Babies and More > Body Part Roaster." The wording apparently was the work of a mischievous customer and, when discovered, was quickly changed, but not before captured a screengrab.
Representatives from Sears said they were victimized by "someone visiting" the company's Web site.
"We discovered earlier today that someone visiting our site had defaced a limited number of product pages," the company said. "It’s important for our customers to know that we have no reason to believe that any of our customer or financial data were compromised.
"We’ve already taken steps to prevent this from happening again. We sincerely apologize to any customers who may have seen this on our site."

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Caption One or All............


Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Australian man glued to toilet seat by pranksters
A man who used a public toilet in a shopping mall was taken to a hospital to have the toilet seat removed from his backside after someone smeared it with glue in what an official condemned Monday as a sick joke.
Police urged possible witnesses to come forward after the man was humiliated by the prank.
An ambulance was called to help the man after he was found stuck by fast-acting adhesive glue to a toilet seat on Saturday in the busy shopping mall.
Paramedics removed the seat from the toilet and took him to a hospital, where medical staff used solvents to get it off.
Police said it was the second case of a strong, fast-acting glue being smeared on a seat in the same men’s toilets that day, although in the earlier incident the man had been able to get up before the glue set.
Is this the cruellest pet owner?
A dog owner fired five nails into his pet's head because he did not have a car to take him to the vet to be put down.
When his mastiff, Winchester, did not die from the nail-gun attack, John Delahaye killed him by stabbing him in the neck and smashing him over the head with a sledgehammer.
The RSPCA has expressed disbelief that Delahaye has been spared jail.
Animal welfare campaigners say it is one of the most severe cases of cruelty they have seen.
Instead of being sent to jail, the Traralgon man was given a suspended sentence for killing the three-year-old dog.
And he will be able to own another pet within three years.
A prostitute gave birth, and the accidental dad's in court
A man who paid a woman for sex is resisting child support requests after the prostitute had his baby.
The married Melbourne man argues the child is potentially a breach of the Trade Practices Act.
He told a federal magistrate he shouldn't have to pay for the inadvertent offspring given the circumstances of the conception.
The accidental dad - who can be referred to only by the pseudonym Mr Lilley - told magistrate Grant Riethmuller he'd had "a consumer transaction" with the child's mother.
Mr Lilley argued an implied term of the "contract" between clients and sex workers was that women would take measures to avoid pregnancy.
Mr Lilley told the court he was not disputing paternity.
The prostitute - known only by the pseudonym Ms Logan - did not appear in court, and details of her employer were not publicly revealed.
The magistrate heard Mr Lilley initially contributed about $100 a week towards the infant's upkeep under an informal arrangement with Ms Logan. The matter spilled into court in June after he lost his $140,000-a-year job and fell behind in the payments.

Tasered Homeless Man Catches on Fire

Police in Ohio say officers using a new Taser stun gun briefly set a homeless man on fire while trying to subdue him. A police report in Lancaster about 30 miles southeast of Columbus, says one officer had seen the man inhaling a chemical from an aerosol can Monday night. That officer and another then struggled with the suspect, and the Taser was used. A flame appeared on the man's chest, and officers patted it down. Police Chief David Bailey says 31-year-old Daniel Wood was not seriously hurt. The department's policy warns against using Tasers when flammable chemicals may be present. Bailey says officers acted appropriately. Wood was charged with abusing harmful intoxicants and other counts. Court records do not list his attorney.



I Fixed It

Thanks to Richard for sending these to me.