Wednesday, October 10, 2007

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Thirty Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Then Women......

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
7. A dog's parents never visit.
8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
12. Dogs can't talk.
13. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready 24-hours a day.
15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
16. Dogs like to go hunting.
17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.
21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad; they just think it's interesting.
25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
29. Dogs are not allowed in Nordstrom’s or Neiman-Marcus.
30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.

WTH!!! A Dr. Phil Tattoo

I wouldn't waste the time or money and certainly not the pain for this.
The only thing that's funny about this it's on his ass.

Birds that don't know right from wrong

Bird Steals Burger

Seagull Steals

Those Born 1930-1979


TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930s, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms........
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Skilled bear playing with stick

A cat encountering ice cubes for the first time

The Top 10 Signs You've Joined A Cheap HMO

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
7. Only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
6. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
5. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day".
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m's" on them.

And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO.....

1. You ask for Viagra. You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Chick Tries Cinnamon Challenge and She Fails Hard

The guy is the best. Just keeps laughing

OH MY! The girl is almost choking to death and he continues to laugh. No blowjob for him, I imagine.

Lol, SWALLOW SWALLOW!!! SPIT IT IN THERE!!! So many innuendos on a better note, she is hot, and she will be tasting cinnamon for at least a day

Eat your heart out boys that girl looks just like my wife, and my wife is almost as dumb

Has anyone else noticed that this dumbass, while standing in front of a SINK, runs to the fridge, opens it, pulls out a bottle of water, twists off the cap, and then drinks it - instead of going right to the TAP? I hope your looks get you somewhere, because your brains surely won't, MORON!

Just One

Small Bits of News

Woman sits in jail for 50 days because of cat urine
Cat urine kept Cynthia Hunter in jail for 50 days. Hunter, 38, was arrested for petty theft and possession of a controlled substance. The theft charge came after she was accused of stealing from a Brandon Wal-Mart store. The controlled substance charge came because deputies found a vial containing a yellow substance in her purse and thought it was methamphetamine. Hunter was released Thursday, after lab tests found the substance was cat urine, as Hunter had claimed all along, court records show. Hunter told a deputy the dehydrated cat urine was for her son's science project, according to a court transcript. The deputy, though, did a field test for drugs and the substance came back positive for methamphetamine, according to court records. » Article here
Women from LA and Miami are the kinkiest in bed.
New York women have among the naughtiest tastes of women in the country, according to a new survey. While 8 of 10 New York women polled said they would consider using handcuffs or a blindfold during a sexual encounter, more than half - 55 percent - say they already have. Six out of 10 admitted to having hot hookups with a guy on the first date.
Overall, Gotham gals come in third as the naughtiest ladies in the 10 cities polled. That's behind the luscious ladies of Los Angeles and the magnificent mamas of Miami. Four out of 10 say they have gone to a bar without wearing any underwear. And while nine out of 10 consider themselves to be "nice," eight of 10 of those girls admit they have a "naughty side." With that in mind, when asked about the "naughtiest" hook-up location, the 1,244 women polled listed a chicken factory, a Christmas-tree farm, the Eiffel Tower, a nun's car and Grandpa's 80th-birthday party, among the more notable responses.
95 percent of the women polled nationally said they would rather endure the pain of a Brazilian bikini wax to hooking up with a guy who smells. » Article here

75-Year-Old Woman Smashes Up Comcast Office With Hammer
"Have I got your attention now?" asked Mona Shaw of the Comcast payment center employees as she smashed their keyboard, monitor and telephone. The 75-year-old woman was outraged after multiple delays and broken promises surrounding her Comcast Triple Play installation. Her little scene got her arrested for disorderly conduct and an apology from Comcast and assurances that her installation would be taken care of promptly. But Shaw had enough, she's switching back to Verizon. "It's totally not like me to do stuff like this," said Shaw. "But it is so irresponsible and so disrespectful. I can't think of any company reacting that way. It's like they got you in their clutches and they'll do what they damn well please." "What the hell, I'm 75," she added. » Article here
Anonymous said...
Wish I have the guts to do the same...Comcast is a complete asshole company...period.

Woman fined $55,000 for not cutting her grass
Officials in Palm Bay are seeing green in a dispute with a woman who refuses to cut her lawn. The woman now faces $55,000 in fines. Police said the 38-year-old ignored cutting the grass despite mounting fines. Police later found her lawn scattered with trash and debris and she was also cited for having nine adult dogs inside her home. The woman has to head to court to face a judge on October 22. » Article here

Teens Nabbed After Police Station Turn
Talk about a wrong turn. Three teens suspected of burglarizing vehicles were arrested after they attempted to elude a police car by turning into a police station.
An area resident reported the break-ins about 3 a.m. Monday and gave police a description of the teens and their car.
Click Here To Read More

Vodka drip saves poisoned Italian
Australian doctors revealed yesterday that they drip-fed an Italian tourist a steady dose of vodka over three days to save his life after he poisoned himself. The 24-year-old man was taken to a north Queensland hospital two months ago after he swallowed a large amount of a potentially-fatal substance found in antifreeze in an apparent suicide attempt.
Doctors at Mackay Base Hospital decided the best method of saving the unconscious man's life was to reverse the effect of the poison, ethylene glycol, by giving him pharmaceutical-grade alcohol. Dr Pascal Gelperowicz said that once the hospital's alcohol supplies ran out doctors sent out for a case of vodka and the unusual drip was set up. "We quickly used all the available vials of 100 percent alcohol and decided the next best way to get alcohol into the man's system was by feeding him spirits through a nasal-gastric tube," Gelperowicz said.
His colleague Dr Todd Fraser said the patient was given about three standard drinks an hour for three days in the intensive care unit. The patient regained full health and was discharged from hospital after 20 days.