Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Geography Lesson of the Day

These are names of actual locations:

Arsoli (Lazio, Italy) Bastard (Norway) Beaver (Oklahoma, USA) Beaver Head (Idaho, USA) Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK) Chinaman's Knob (Australia) Climax (Colorado, USA) Cunt (Spain) Cunter (Switzerland)Dikshit (India)Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border) Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic) Effin (Limerick, Ireland)
Fucking (Austria) Fuku (Shensi, China) Fukue (Honshu, Japan) Fukui (Honshu, Japan) Fukum (Yemen)Hold With Hope (Greenland)Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)Lickey End (West Midlands, UK) Little Dix Village (West Indies) Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland) Middle Intercourse Island (Australia) Muff (Northern Ireland) Nobber (Donegal, Ireland) Pis Pis River (Nicaragua) Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines) Seymen (Turkey) Shafter (California, USA) Shag Island (Indian Ocean) Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK) Tittybong (Australia) Tong Fuk (Japan) Turdo (Romania) Twatt (Orkney, UK) Wank (Germany) Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany) Wankener (India) Wankie (Zimbabwe) Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe) Wanks River (Nicaragua) Wankum (Germany) Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)

Guys, How "BIG" Is Yours?

Professor of Andrology in Australia slams men with small balls.

Small testicles a sign of ill health

Testicle size is what counts for a clean bill of health and being able to produce children.
Most men are unaware of how important the size of their testes is in relation to their health, Professor Rob McLachlan, director of Andrology Australia, told Fairfax newspapers.
"I've seen men coming in with (testicles) the size of a sultana and they haven't realized (it's a problem) - it happens all the time," Prof McLachlan said.
Men need to be aware of their testicle size, to measure their own health.
"They don't know how big their testes should be - what's normal and what's abnormal," Prof McLachlan said.
Small testes can indicate there is a testosterone deficiency. This can make a man feel tired, lose muscle, gain fat, lose sex drive.

Skipping stone record...

Is that the best that you can do?

A woman calls into work......

Woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma" she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today"

Man loses 6 stones on baked bean diet 6 stones = 84 pounds

A Suffolk man lost six stone in six months on a diet of plain baked beans.
James Skeates, 28, has trimmed down from 21-stone to 15-stone by eating at least two large cans of beans a day.
The carpenter, of Haverhill, says he now has the energy to keep up with his young children Eleanor, three, and George, 10 months.
James joined his local Slimming World Class in March and lost around a stone a month to hit his target weight, reports the Cambridge Evening News.
James said: "I was getting through two tins a day, eating them in my breaks at work, then at home with jacket potatoes, wholemeal bread or pasta. I was never hungry, but the weight kept coming off. Isabel Hooley, a dietician for Suffolk NHS Primary Care Trust, said: "Baked beans are fine as part of a healthy, balanced diet, but we would not recommend more than one portion a day.
"Baked beans are low calorie, so if you eat them instead of cheese on toast for example, I would expect you to lose weight."

"It didn't really cause me any problems eating all the beans, but now I suffered a bit more wind."

Japanese tin-can bread

The Japanese introduction of bread in a can a few years ago seemed to cover all bases, being little, light and long-lasting.
Lunch and light snacks may never be the same again.

Kitten Jumps But.........

Small Bits of News

Escaped Convict Found At Police Party
An escaped convict has been recaptured in Taiwan - at a barbecue party organised at the local police station.
Police in Xinzhu city invited residents to celebrate the Moon Festival with them. But officers could not believe their eyes when they saw an escaped drug dealer called Chen, who had just been listed as one of the city's most wanted criminals, at the party.
Click Here To Read More

Presumed Idiot Criminal Uploads Pix Of Self From Stolen iMac
Last week a number of computers were stolen from our office in Vancouver, BC.
One of those computers was a shared iMac with Flickrbooth, an app that automatically uploads photo booth shots to our flickr account, installed on it.
Click Here To Read More

Young boy rescued after taking on a dare from his sister

Firefighters were called to rescue a boy in Essex who was stuck inside a washing machine. Patrick Grieves, eight, from The Tythings, Halstead, got into difficulty on Monday evening after being dared to climb in by his sister Jade.
His worried mother, Susan, called Essex Fire and Rescue Service after she was unable to get his out. The fire crews managed to maneuver Patrick so they could get him out without having to cut up the machine.
Jade said: "He went in feet first because he knew that was the only way he could get in and I dared him to do it, so I am a naughty girl."I know I shouldn't have, but my mom has told me off so I have my punishment - grounded for a night."

Man rips off woman's underwear in public

Detectives are baffled by a brazen daylight attack at Newmarket, in Brisbane's inner north on Monday, in which a woman had her underwear ripped off and bag stolen."It's pretty strange. I haven't heard anything like it before," Det-Sen-Sgt Brad Rix said. He said the 23-year-old was grabbed from behind as she walked home from Newmarket train station about 4.30pm.
The offender then lifted her dress up, and pulled off her underwear before grabbing her bag and taking off. "It was absolute daylight, not far from a train station. This person must have felt sure he was going to get away with it," Det-Sen-Sgt Rix said. He said there was no attempt to sexually assault the woman, who did not realise her bag had been stolen until some time later. "It's possible he may have stolen her underwear as a trophy, or perhaps he intended taking the attack further. We don't know," he said.

Roll over accident during TV interview

While Swedish TV is interviewing an emergency worker about recent accidents at a newly built roadway, a car in the background loses control and rolls over.



Hard to Amuse

Sorta Looks Like GW Bush...

Take a bite out of crime

Police Dog Bites Off Teen’s Scrotum After Stolen Car Joy Ride
"I can't explain how painful it was. It was like being tied up and eaten alive."

Oklahoma Teen Says K-9 Bit Him Between The Legs.
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK -- Oklahoma City police are facing allegations of brutality, after a 15-year-old boy claims officers used a K-9 to help arrest him and then bite him between his legs. 15-year-old Mark Adkins is now facing several charges after taking a joy ride in stolen car and getting into a short pursuit with police in southwest Oklahoma city. But along with the charges he's now facing an uphill battle with his health after being captured by a K-9 officer that tore away flesh along with his scrotum. Mark says "the doctors told me they didn't think they would be able to stitch me back together." Mark's mother, Michelle, says "he was in trauma for 7 to 9 days and I've just never seen anything like this done to a minor." Capt. Steve McCool of the Oklahoma City Police Department says "obviously they're not trained to bite in this particular area of the body." Officers say Mark was not handcuffed when the dog attacked, and claim the animal was just doing what it was trained to do. Capt. Steve McCool says "you had the officer on top of the individual, they're on the ground, the guy's resisting, the dog is trying to assist the handler with this aggressive behavior the best he can." Mark says "I can't explain how painful it was. It was like being tied up and eaten alive." But Mark says he was no longer resisting. His mother now hopes legal action will help the police admit they were wrong. Michelle says "there are some good officers out there and there are some bad ones, but I think in order to clean it up let these officers take responsibility for what they do to the public." Police are still investigating the incident and as of Thursday, neither the dog nor his handler has faced any disciplinary action.