Friday, November 16, 2007

Prefers Blondes

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The Swedicks! What a bunch of dumbasses!

Breaking News.....

Army Ads
November 16, 2007

This week, the U.S. Army removed several recruiting ads from a Web site because they said the Web site targets homosexual men.
The ads said, “Uncle Sam Wants You - Bad.”

The Connect-The-Dots Tattoo

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Beginning And The End

The Mailman's Last Day

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

What happens when you get old

Clients' Legal Info Found In Lawyer's Dumpster

GREENWOOD VILLAGE, Colo. ― Police collected 17 boxes filled with Social Security numbers and other personal information from a trash container behind an office building in Colorado on Sunday Nov. 11, 2007.
Jeff Smith, a former victim of identity theft himself, found the boxes in Greenwood Village, Colo., and called CBS station KCNC-TV in Denver to complain."
Came over here to throw some trash, noticed all the files in there, thought that was kind of awkward, so I pulled the files out and they were all legal cases," said Smith.
After looking over the documents, they appeared to be from the office of W. Dan Mahoney, an attorney who works in the building.
Mahoney admitted throwing them in the trash."I apologize to my clients whose files I discarded in the private business dumpster," he said in a statement. "I did not anticipate someone trespassing through the dumpster before it was to be dumped Monday morning."Mahoney said he will shred the information in the future and normally does. He said he was cleaning out old files before moving."
If there was a chain of evidence that would show who did, it, I think there could be a good possibility of litigation," said Bob Pence, a retired FBI agent.

Before and After

Amy as she appears these days and how she looked a couple of years back.

Aw.........Yes She is Blonde.........

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail to WALMART!
DUH!!! WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!

Double Dose..............

A man went to his pharmacist to get a double dose of Viagra.

The pharmacist told him that he couldn't give him a double dose.

"Why not?" asked the man.

"Because it's not safe," replied the pharmacist.

"But I need it really bad," said the man.

"Well, why do you need it so badly?" asked the pharmacist.

The man said, "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday. My wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double dose."

The pharmacist finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects."

On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling.

The pharmacist asked "What happened to you?"

The man said, "No one showed up."

Small Bits of News

22 Convictions? Not A Problem
When he applied for a part-time job as a truck driver for the city of Chicago, Jerome Felske admitted he had a criminal past.
He acknowledged having six criminal convictions -- one burglary and five thefts. He got the job anyway.
Click Here To Read More

Police shoot and kill man holding hairbrush
A young man carrying what turned out to be a hairbrush died Monday night in a hail of bullets fired by New York police. Authorities were responding to a 9-1-1 call his mother made about a "family dispute with a gun," police said. When authorities arrived at the Bedford-Stuyvesant apartment, the teenager had something stuffed under his shirt and several times showed a knife to police. "Shoot me, kill me," he shouted, according to Kelly. "Come get me. I have a gun. Let's do this."Twenty shots were fired; Coppin was struck eight times, Kelly said. Kelly said the teen's mother reported he had not taken his anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medication. » Full article here

Man takes laptop from praying preacher
When the Rev. Fidelis Obdike opened his eyes after a prayer, the setting wasn't the same. Gone were his laptop computer and the man with whom he was praying. Police arrested Carl Hagy, 41, on Wednesday on a theft charge after he allegedly pawned the computer. Police responded to a call at Destiny Global Ministries on Friday, where Obidike told officers he had bought a laptop computer from Hagy two weeks before. He said Hagy returned to the church on Friday and asked to pray. Obdike said he was praying with Hagy inside the church, but when he opened his eyes, Hagy and the computer were gone, police said. Hagy was booked into the Sebastian County Jail, where he was freed on $1,500 bond.