For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed.....+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings......+5 In the snow.....+8 But return with beer.....-5 And no liners.....-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 It's her cat.....-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday.....0 You buy a card and flowers.....0 You take her out to dinner.....0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0 The pal is happily married.....+1 The pal is single.....-7 He drives a Ferrari.....-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.....+2 You take her to a movie she likes.....+4 You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 You take her to a movie you like.....-2 It's called Death Cop III.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat human’s.....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15 YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-500 THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.....-10 You reply, "Where?".....-35 You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"......-100 Any other response.....-20 COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50 You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 You have fallen asleep.....-200 IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH You talk.....-100 You don't talk.....-150 You spend time with her......-200 You don't spend time with her.....-500 You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000 Game Over - YOU LOSE
Police recover 123 stolen parking meters from man's home Cambridge, Mass. police have arrested a man after finding 123 stolen parking meters stashed away in his home. Police say they went to Thomas Gannon's apartment on Plymouth Street to arrest him on Monday night because he was wanted for larceny in Everett.
As they were about to handcuff him, officers say they noticed the parking meters. The meters were allegedly stolen from streets in Cambridge and Somerville in the last year. Gannon, 38, was arraigned in Cambridge District Court and ordered held on $5,000 bail.
Prostitute takes kids on the job and snorts coke off her baby Albany NY. Wendy Nolton-Cooke had her 5-year-old daughter and 2-month-old son with her as she took drugs and performed sex for money, New York police said. Wendy Cook, 37, of Saratoga was arrested along with four other women during a prostitution sweep early Monday, according to Schenectady Police Lt. Brian Kilcullen.
Cook was arrested when she offered to perform a sex act on an undercover officer for money, Kilcullen said. While Cook's children were in the car with her, she performed oral sex acts on at least two men for money, smoked crack cocaine in the car and even snorted cocaine off the infant's stomach while she was breastfeeding, Kilcullen said. Cook is in Schenectady County Jail without bail on charges of prostitution and child endangerment, pending a court appearance Tuesday. Her children were turned over to family members.
Man Arrested For Airport Al-Qaida Joke A Washington taxi driver faces a criminal charge because he joked about being a member of al-Qaida to an airline worker in Boston. Ermiyaf A. Asfaw, an Ethiopian national, was returning to Washington from a visit to his girlfriend Saturday when an Air-Tran check-in employee asked him about stickers on his luggage from Dubai. He told her he had been in the United Arab Emirates. Click Here To Read More
Women Yelled 'Eat My Pork, Feel My Fork' An upset grandmother stabbed her partner after he ate her chops, yelling: "eat my pork, feel my fork." Tracy Wenn became enraged after Anthony Donkin stole her dinner - and promptly turned on him with a steak knife.As she stabbed him in the leg, causing a seven-inch wound, the enraged 45-year-old bellowed "eat my pork, feel my fork," the slogan from the Quorn TV ad. Click Here To Read More
Car Thief's Nightmare In Cemetery It's best not to steal a car when you've been on a binge, because you could just end up passed out in a stolen car in a cemetery - with the police knocking on the car's window. That's the lesson an intoxicated car thief learnt at the weekend. Gareth Crocker, spokesperson for the Tracker vehicle recovery company said the Flying Squad had nailed the suspected car thief at the wheel of a stolen vehicle at a cemetery in Mamelodi East. Click Here To Read More
Police have asked an art gallery to turn around a sculpture of Buddha with comical genitalia, on the grounds that it upset passers-by. Police said they received a number of complaints from members of the public who saw the bronze statue - which shows a penis and testicles in the shape of a banana and eggs - on display in the window of the Saint Giles Street Gallery in Norwich. Now gallery owner David Koppel has agreed to turn the sculpture - A Trilogy: The Iconoclasts, by artist Colin Self - so that the front cannot be seen from the street.
You may wonder why I used this flag for a picture. I have another "All Family" blog tied to this blog and what image I use has to be appropriate for that blog. Otherwise one image two blogs. It’s called FUNNY & MORE. Feel free to check it out but remember it's an "All Family" blog so if you post a comment NO SWEARING
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