Thursday, January 15, 2009

What women should tell men…. but don’t

1. The reason why our bras don’t always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we’re watching football with you - it’s not bonding - it’s their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn’t ask in bed.
8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who’s easy"?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don’t care.
11. When you’re not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don’t mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you’re out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. a negative grunt.
15. Don’t insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women’s work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling… however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.
Tonytc said...
11. When you’re not around, I belch loudly, too.
I knew it and farts loudly as well I bet hahaha

Serious Shit

Thanks for the Heads Up

Coffin Nails

Not So Smart Tow Truck Driver


Woman Refuses Get Towed


The Most Amazing Streets/Roads In The World

Road To Giza Egypt - World’s oldest paved road

de Julio Avenue Argentina - World’s widest street

Parliament Street England - World’s narrowest street

The Magic Roundabout England - World’s worst roundabout

Ebenezer Place Scotland - World’s Shortest street

Steepest Street New Zealand - Steepest street in the world

Savoy Court England - Only street in Britain where you must drive on the right

Lombard Street United States - World’s crookedest street

Pan-American Highway - World’s longest road
Gravity hills appear to defy the laws of physics

Car Climbing A Slope With Engines Off?

Spinning ice disc phenomenon

A rare phenomenon normally associated with Scandinavia has been recorded on the River Otter in Devon for what could be the first time.
It was of perfect circle of spinning ice spotted in River Otter in Devon.
The giant spinning disc of ice was spotted near Honiton by Roy Jefferies who was out walking his dog along the riverbank on Wednesday, January 7.
The slowly rotating ten foot wide and perfectly circular phenomenon which was stationary in the current and about six foot from the bank near where a stream joined the river.

How to fix a broken plasma screen.

Tools needed for the job: Baseball bat and a wall.

Maxim's Swimsuit Issue Has Not One, But Two Hot Covers

Minneapolis, Minnesota, where the high temperature is forecast to be six degrees is going to sell out of the hot new Maxim Swimsuit Issue in about three hours.
Because the photos in the February issue are guaranteed to raise temperatures through the roof.
And this year, Maxim is featuring not one, but two hot covers to their annual swimsuit edition.
The first cover features model Sarah Mutch, the second Jamie Gunns.
Inside, Sarah and Jamie are joined by models Melissa Baker, Landi Swanepoel, Quiana Grant, and Violet Budd in 24 pages of smoking images full of seriously sexy bikinis.
PHOTOS: Click for both covers and two more exclusive photos.

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Pennsylvania Pair Accused of Exploiting $175G Banking Error
Police say a northeastern Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania couple did not call the bank when a $1,772.50 deposit showed up in their account as $177,250.
Authorities say 50-year-old Randy Pratt and 36-year-old Melissa Marie Pratt of Bloomsburg took out all the money, quit their jobs and moved to Florida.
The two were arraigned Tuesday and jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail. District Judge Donna Coombe says a public defender and a conflicts lawyer are being assigned.
The pair, now legally separated, faces felony theft charges, counts of receiving stolen property and criminal conspiracy to commit theft,
Melissa Pratt said her husband often got large checks and she wasn't aware of any banking error. However, police said Randy Pratt was employed as a metal roofing installer and only earned about $3,800 as a roofer all last year.
Police say Melissa Pratt deposited the check at FNB Bank last summer. When the big balance showed up investigators say the two wrote checks to another account, bought a new vehicle and were buying a house in the Orlando area when the mistake was traced.
It was reported that the couple managed to spend all but about $50,000 of the money.
Bikini-waxed Criminal Sentenced
A woman who refused to pay for a bikini wax has walked free from court.
Erin Ferguson, 20, admitted making off without payment for the £41 service at Essential Beauty in High Street.
But afterwards claimed she had left her purse in her car and could not pay the bill.
Gabby Henty, prosecuting, said: "She said she would go and get the money and ran out of the salon. There was no suggestion she was not satisfied with the treatment."
Ferguson, who had booked the treatment with a false name and address, left her handbag behind and the salon owner found details of her real name in the bag.
She had been a previous customer and the salon had a record of her address.
Ms Henty said when she was interviewed by police Ferguson said she was not satisfied with the treatment and made it clear to the owner she would not pay.
But the prosecution did not accept Ferguson's claim she had complained.
Man shot twice in year outside same pizza place
He's expected to survive second shooting in front of Mass. restaurant
A 26-year-old Worcester man may want to avoid a certain pizza place — after he was shot in front of the restaurant twice in less than a year.
Police said the man, whose name was not immediately released, is expected to survive three gunshot wounds he suffered in front of the Golden Pizza on Tuesday, after surviving another shooting there in April.
Detective Capt. Edward McGinn said the man had just gotten a haircut at a barber shop Tuesday when he went across the street and got into a skirmish with a person in front of Golden Pizza. McGinn said the man was hospitalized after being shot in the legs and abdomen. The shooter fled.
In the April 13 incident, police said three people were arrested after the same man was shot multiple times.
Thief Caught After Stealing Sheriff's Office Car
A car thief made a bad choice when he picked a car to steal in Ocala. He went up to the sheriff's office building and stole a Citizen on Patrol car marked with sheriff's office logos, but the thief was caught across state lines in Georgia.
Deputies said the thief not only stole a car with a sheriff's logo on it and flashing lights, he repeatedly used the cell phone inside and that's how they were able to catch him.
Stolen cars are nothing new to Lt. Dennis McFatten, but this was definitely different.
"First thing I thought of was, wow," he said.
This time, the sheriff's office was the victim.
Police in Hahira, Georgia, 150 miles away, spotted the stolen sheriff's car and found Bolduan in a truck stop parking lot listening to music. Deputies knew roughly where he was, because he repeatedly used the patrol car's cell phone.
"He was calm, not violent or anything, just said he was trying to get home to Minnesota," McFatten said.
The sheriff's office said it will change the way it stores the key so that the vehicles don't get into the wrong hands again.
Robber mistaking water office for bank
A would-be armed robber left empty-handed Tuesday after realizing that his intended target was no longer a bank but the office of a local water district.
About 1 p.m. Tuesday, a man entered the office of the Jessamine South Elkhorn Water District at 802 South Main Street — formerly a branch of Farmers Bank — showed a revolver and demanded money, Nicholasville police spokesman Scott Harvey said.
Harvey said an employee told the man, "We really don't have any money."
Harvey said the robber responded: "I know you have money. It's a bank."
But he was told, "No, sir, it's not a bank anymore."
"He looked around, realized it wasn't, and he left with nothing," Harvey said.
Perks of a fast food joint
A man was served hot chips at a Territory eatery wearing nothing but his birthday suit.
The late night reveler stripped bare before putting in his order at the Darwin City 24-Hour Eatery on Smith St early on Monday.
A witness said the naked man walked into the shop to order two buckets of chips with gravy.
And the female attendant was reportedly only too happy to serve the nude customer.
Steven Bastick, 23, watched the naked act when he walked past the eatery.
He said he "bumped into" two men standing in front of the shop.
"I was just walking home when I saw the two guys," he said. "They were talking about doing a Jack Ass thing.
"They were really drunk and asked me to take photos."
One of the men soon bared all before entering the premises.
His companion stayed outside because he was allegedly "too embarrassed".
Mr Bastick said he was surprised when the naked customer did not receive much resistance from the woman behind the counter.
"The lady was just smiling," he said.
"It didn't bother her at all.