Friday, October 17, 2008

Idiot's Are Born Every Day

This idiot here appears to have not only the wood going through the window,
but the sun roof too.

That's a Accident Waiting to Happen.

What do you think guys is she hot or what?

wirecutter said...
Yup, uh huh.


Caption This...............

Tony said...
I bestow upon you this comb over...ear ya go mate.
Bestow - Definition: to present as a gift; grant, give
Etymology: Middle English be- + stowen 'to place'
For God sakes man,
You need to get rid of that ridiculous comb over

Pizza makes some people hopping mad

A restaurant has sparked fury by serving up pizzas with a topping of FROGS’ LEGS. The "Hopper" contains frog legs on a traditional base with capers and an anchovy sorbet.
The £17.95 dish has angered campaigners who slammed it as "barbaric" — because frogs’ legs are amputated while they are still alive.
Chef Sami Wasif came up with the idea on a trip to Paris — and called it "refined".
He said: "I’ve been making pizza for more than 20 years and know that London is a city always looking for something new."
He added: "Pizza is something you can always experiment with. I might try one with snails on it next."

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Beauty Shop Break In Was A Drag
If he was going to rob a beauty parlor, he was going to blend in. Police picked up 42-year-old Frederic M. Koetter outside the Curl and Style beauty shop after receiving a call about a robbery in progress. Koetter — sporting a blonde wig, women's clothing and high heels — confessed to the crime after he was identified as the robber by witnesses.
Remarkably, Koetter has been dressed almost exactly like the shop owner, from the hairstyle to floral print clothing.
Koetter claimed the resemblance was nothing but a coincidence.
Robber Nabbed by Using Stolen Cell Phone
RENO, Nev. — A suspected robber was arrested after he used a stolen cell phone to call a relative, and the relative later called back and instead got the victim who had transferred the number to a new phone, police said Thursday.
According to police, a 68-year-old tourist was gambling at the Silver Legacy Resort downtown on Oct. 7 when he was struck in the head and knocked to the ground by a man who took his fanny pack that contained the victim's cell phone.
The suspect used the phone to call a family member.
When the relative tried to call back later, he instead got the victim who had reactivated the number on a new phone, police said.
The family member gave the victim the suspect's name.
Jason Scott, 34, was arrested Wednesday on charges of robbery and an enhancement for crimes against the elderly, police said.
Police asked woman to check for body
A west Belfast woman has claimed police called her to see if she could check if there was a body in her street.
Deidre Morrison said an officer telephoned her Irwell Court home on Wednesday and said they did not have the "resources" to check it themselves.
Police said officers were "trying to confirm the veracity of a report" and that when it was confirmed later they sent a patrol to the area. It transpired there was a drunk woman lying in the street.
Ms Morrison said she now intends is to make an official complaint to the police.
"I shouldn't have been put in this position, definitely not. Especially whenever you have two children to rear and you're trying to get them out to school in the mornings - you don't need this hassle," she said.
Ms Morrison added that when the officer called he said "they did not want to be lured into the area".
Man shows his political preference with dog poop
A man was ticketed for unlawful dumping after admitting to putting dog feces in his neighbor's truck for political reasons. Police Sgt. Jerry Edblad said a 19-year-old St. Cloud man told police he has found small baggies of dog poop in the back of his pickup truck for the past few weeks.
Donald Esmay said the dog poop started appearing in his truck right after he put a 2-foot-by-4-foot McCain sign there.
He and his family watched the truck trying to catch the culprit, but didn't have any luck until Wednesday when his mother and brother saw someone from the neighborhood.
They confronted the 45-year-old man, who admitted to it and said it was childish.
When police later spoke with the neighbor, Edblad said he told officers he did it because he "hates McCain."
The unlawful dumping ticket comes with a $183 fine.
Man chews up a belly-busting, 15-lb. burger
CLEARFIELD, Pa. - It took Brad Sciullo 4 hours and 39 minutes to finish a marathon. A meat marathon, that is. The 5-foot-11, 180-pound western Pennsylvania chef is the first person to eat a monstrosity called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser: a 15-pound burger with toppings and a bun that brought the total weight to 20.2 pounds.
The mountain of beef is the product of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, about 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh in Clearfield.
Sciullo, 21, of Uniontown, said he was surprised he finished the sandwich. "About three hours into it, things got tough," he said.
The burger included a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish, pub owner Dennis Liegey said.
For completing the challenge in the under-five-hour time limit, Sciullo won $400, three T-shirts, a certificate "and a burger hangover, as I call it," Liegey said.
Palin lookalike strippers to strut in pageant
LAS VEGAS - Some spectacled strippers are looking to score some votes of their own, just for looking like Sarah Palin. A Sin City strip club says it plans to host a lookalike contest in honor of the GOP vice presidential nominee, and is bringing in women from gentlemen's clubs all over the country to compete.
They'll be judged by club guests on how they resemble Palin while wearing a swimsuit and how well they debate, according to news release.
A vote will determine the winner. The prize? A $10,000 package including a trip to Washington for Inauguration Day in January.
Officials for Club Paradise Men's Club in Las Vegas say they're holding the contest because Palin competed as a beauty queen years ago and is widely impersonated today.
Palin came in second at the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, taking home the Miss Congeniality award.
Man shoots himself in leg
BARRE, Vt. - Police say a man was recovering from a gunshot wound after he shot himself in the leg with a handgun while practicing a quick draw. Police said a bullet from a revolver entered the 61-year-old man's leg just below the left knee and lodged in his foot.
Police say when rescue crews arrived at about 7 p.m. Tuesday they found the man sitting on the sidewalk near his home.
Man moves ambulance that blocked his car gets arrested
NEW LONDON, Conn. - Police arrested a man after he got into an ambulance and drove it a few feet because it was partially blocking his car. Police said a 48-year-old man was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, operating a vehicle under a suspended license, interfering with police and taking a vehicle without the owner's permission.
Authorities said the ambulance was parked for an emergency medical call when it partially blocked the man's vehicle, which was illegally parked in a loading zone.
Witnesses told police the man got into the ambulance and moved it. The ambulance was not damaged.

A Plethora of Puns

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Tony said...
Number 3 bought back a couple of memories...
She was only a pickpockets daughter but you should have seen her snatch...
She was only a butchers daughter but her undercut was dripping...
She was only a hatters daughter but she liked her ol felt at...

Real names that sound like a joke

SOME parents can be cruel – or down right stupid – when naming their kids.
SUE AGE - Born Glasgow, 1849.
PETER PIDDLE - Baptized Fowey, Cornwall, 1649.
ENEMA BOTTOMLEY WOOD - Died Huddersfield, 1904.
SEYMOUR BUST - Born Halstead, Essex, 1841.
PLEASANT TITTY - Baptized Margate, Kent, 1768.
(She was named after her mom — so the family had a pair of Pleasant Tittys.)
SEXEY BUTT - Born Dundry, Somerset, 1803.
EFFING DICK - Born Glasgow, 1848.
WILLY MUSCLE - Born Holme, Huntingdonshire, 1685.
GOLDEN BALLS - Baptized Aylsham, Norfolk, 1813.
KENNETH McSHAGGER - Born Scotland, 1841.
WILLIE STRETCH - Born Winsford, Cheshire, 1894.
NANCY BOYS - Born Brighton, 1842.
MAD LOONEY - Died Warwicks, 1894.
CONSTANT PAIN - Born Hackney, London, 1901.
MINNIE BAR - Baptized Galston, Ayr, 1761.
AL DENTE - Born Whitechapel, London, 1900.
POSTHUMOUS MINCE - Died Greenwich, Kent, 1839.
AGNES ETTA PEPPER - Born Ipswich, 1881.
EASTER BUNNY - Born Yorkshire, 1851.
KITTY LITTER - Born Marston, Cheshire, 1839.
HOLLY BERRY - Born Barnsley, 1880.
PEARLY GATES - Married Westminster, 1996.
RICK O’SHEA - Married Kennington, London, 1864.
SENSITIVE REDHEAD - Born Bridlington, E Yorks, 1873.
JIMMY RIDDLE - Born Melrose, Midlothian, 1648
PETE SAKE - Born Cheshire, 1840.
PECULIAR BUTTERY - Married Wolverhampton, 1871.
ALICE MAY FALL - Born Shoreditch, London, 1894.
NICHOLAS STREAKER - Born Durham, 1747.
LETTICE SPRAY - Baptized Greasley, Notts, 1633.
IRIS TEW - Died Chester, 1985.
DICK BRAIN - Born Stoke-on-Trent, 1871.
TURD COLLAR - Born Ireland, 1821.
TERESA FARTWANGLER - Born Usk, Monmouth, 1828.
PHILIP PLONKER - Baptized Shalford, Surrey, 1632.
WILLY LEAK - Born Poplar, London, 1886.
ANICE BOTTOM - Baptized Dewsbury, W Yorks, 1837.
IVA LONGBOTTOM - Born Balby, S Yorks, 1899.
TRANNIE PICKUP - Born Portsmouth, 1853.
SILLY TROLLOPE - Born Doncaster, 1894.
DICK HANDLER - Baptized Earls Colne, Essex, 1585.
JOYCE MOODY NUTTER - Died Braintree, Essex, 2001.
HUGH SWELLING - Born Ireland, 1811.
PHIL GRAVES - Died Rotherham 1879.
DEMOSTHENES CUPPA - Married London, 1886.
BASIL LEAF - Born York, 1895.
LARGE BEE - Born Notts, 1829.
LOW FEE - Married Chorlton, Cheshire, 1908.
COLLY FLOWER - Father of girl married in Soho, London, 1797.
MAUD STALE BUN - Born Sunderland, 1851.
LOW FAT - Married Cardiff, 1905.
FAY KING - Died Bromley, Kent, 1998.
SANDY BEACH - Born East London, 1899.
DAILY BONER - Born Hernhill, Kent, 1898.