"Are you a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!" "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out and if you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker and slots whatever you want to play. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow".
Are you into drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean...?" "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or meth. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, and who cares!"
"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" The demon said, "Are you gay?" "No" came the reply. "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"
Oh Hell No!