Happy Valentine's Day

Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store in hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style and class especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished but now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass our love has grown . . . but so has your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny so, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

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Radio station giving away free divorce

Charleston radio station is observing Valentine's Day with a reminder that Cupid sometimes misses his mark. WKLC-FM, better known as Rock 105, is giving away a free divorce. Valentine's Day isn't all hearts and flowers, says WKLC Program Director Jay Nunley. There is a darker side, he said, "where maybe you despise your spouse and resent the entire day."Until p.m. on Thursday, Valentine's Day, applications for the free divorce will be accepted on the classic rock station's Web site, www.wklc.com. The winning name will be drawn at 5 p.m.
Nunley cautions that this is a real divorce and people shouldn't enter if they aren't serious. Also, people expecting a long, drawn-out legal battle should hire a lawyer because the Rock 105 contest is for a relatively uncomplicated divorce. Charleston attorney Rusty Webb will handle the actual filing. "Sure we can give away concert tickets, and we do," said Nunley. "That's going to make you happy for a little while. This is the chance to make someone happy for the rest of their life."