Police Comments

Police Comments taken off actual police car videos around the country:
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16. You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.
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15. Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.
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14. If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
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13. If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.
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12. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.
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11. You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?
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10. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?
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9. Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.
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8. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
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7. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.
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6. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
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5. In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
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4. How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?
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3. No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
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2. I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
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AND THE WINNER IS….
1. You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.


Thanks god