Friday, January 29, 2010

Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know You Needed

Sick of Being Poor
The FBI says a Pennsylvania man told authorities he robbed a bank because he was "sick of being poor."
The FBI says 23-year-old Cameron Minniefield was arrested Tuesday at a bus station in Erie, his hometown. They say he was planning to go to Cleveland.
Police say Minniefield took a bus to Meadville, about 30 miles south of Erie, Tuesday afternoon and robbed the First National Bank. Police say Minniefield gave a teller a note, left with $1,010 and took a taxi back to Erie.
Police say witnesses saw Minniefield at a library across the street from the bank before the heist and later identified him as the robber.
Death row inmate attempts suicide
San Quentin death-row inmate Justin Helzer, convicted in 2004 of murdering five people, including the daughter of blues guitarist Elvin Bishop, tried to kill himself and is hospitalized in critical condition, sources confirmed Friday.
Helzer apparently tried to commit suicide by jamming pens in each of his eyes. Although he didn't kill himself, the sources said Helzer did succeed in paralyzing himself on the right side and causing brain damage.
Man Offers His Left Testicle for Super Bowl Tickets
High capacity, O negative, well traveled, well maintained, larger than average, only used for @ 22 years! (Was in storage before that)
1 available!
History of producing blond haired Caucasian males inclined towards joining the military. (1 army, 1 marine) (results may vary!)
All sales are final!!
Will complete transaction after the game! (And I'll need a ride to the airport and help on a plane!)
Pictures/documentation available upon request.
No perverts!!!!!
Young boy faces court for bee sting prank
A prank has had serious repercussions for an Indonesian boy facing criminal charges because he caused a classmate to be stung by a bee. The boy was alleged to have stuck a bee on the cheek of a female classmate as they returned home from school. Her father then filed a police report. The boy, whose name was not given, has not appeared in court because he is depressed and afraid. This could result in a maximum penalty of a 32-month jail sentence.
Man guilty of indecency, told to destroy shorts
A man has been ordered to destroy his skimpy work shorts after exposing himself to eight women while performing renovations on their kitchens, a court has been told.
Prosecutor Lewis Shillito told the court Owen wore skimpy shorts or stripped down to his underwear while he worked, allowing what the women described as an "extremely large" penis to poke out from the fabric.
The court was told Owen would also masturbate in front of the women, aged between 45 and 83, and rub cream onto his exposed genitals while complaining of a rash.
Magistrate Noel Nunan ordered Owen's work shorts, which were seized by police, be destroyed.
He also refused Owen's request for the return of penis rings he had worn to work to enlarge his genitals.

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