Don’t cancel watching it the best is at the end
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The polite way to pee
‘Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?’
Michael said, ‘Just a minute, I have to go pee.’
The teacher responded by saying, ‘That would be rude and impolite.’
‘What about you Sherman, how would you say it?’
Sherman said, ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.’
‘That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.’
‘And you, little Eddie, can you tell us your good manners of using the bathroom?’
‘I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.’
The teacher fainted….
Michael said, ‘Just a minute, I have to go pee.’
The teacher responded by saying, ‘That would be rude and impolite.’
‘What about you Sherman, how would you say it?’
Sherman said, ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.’
‘That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.’
‘And you, little Eddie, can you tell us your good manners of using the bathroom?’
‘I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.’
The teacher fainted….
Size matters in pizza punch up
Pizza chains Domino’s and Eagle Boys are at war in Australia over accusations of shrinking pizzas with one producing a YouTube video suggesting another's pizza delivery drivers have small penises.
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Small Bits of News
Cop Stops Car, Finds 25 Pounds Of Pot Wrapped As Gifts
Someone will find a few less presents under the Christmas tree this year.
A Florida man has been charged with felony drug possession after the Ohio State Highway Patrol found 25 pounds of marijuana wrapped as Christmas gifts in the trunk of his car.
Click Here To Read More
Man Arrested For Massive Weapons Cache
A 73-year-old Modoc County man is in jail after authorities say they discovered a cache of illegal guns and other weapons, including a hand grenade, at his home.
Glenn Edward Daley, who calls himself "Bunker Bob," lives near Alturas, in the far northeast corner of the state.
Click Here To Read More
Curious child hits button, foams airport hanger
A curious child just couldn't resist temptation and hit an emergency button that triggered a sea of fire suppression foam at a Philadelphia airport hanger. The expanse of white foam not only filled the hanger on Saturday but it spilled out onto the tarmac where the wind blew puffs of it into the air like a snow storm.
The incident at Northeast Airport occurred during Agusta Aerospace's family day outing. Authorities said an employee's child hit a button that said "Don't hit button unless in an emergency." The Philadelphia Fire Department was called out to to clean up the mess. There was no word on any damage to the helicopter inside the hanger.
Man trapped in bowling club toilet for four days
There was nobody to wonder what the matter could be when David Leggat got stuck in the lavatory at the Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club in Aberdeen - for four days. The 55-year-old bachelor was trapped in the freezing cold "gents" at his bowling club with nothing but tap water to survive on after a door jammed behind him. He spent most of the time in the dark, managed no more than three hours' sleep a night, and was so cold that that he had to put his feet in a hand basin of hot water in an attempt to stay warm.
Someone will find a few less presents under the Christmas tree this year.
A Florida man has been charged with felony drug possession after the Ohio State Highway Patrol found 25 pounds of marijuana wrapped as Christmas gifts in the trunk of his car.
Click Here To Read More
Man Arrested For Massive Weapons Cache
A 73-year-old Modoc County man is in jail after authorities say they discovered a cache of illegal guns and other weapons, including a hand grenade, at his home.
Glenn Edward Daley, who calls himself "Bunker Bob," lives near Alturas, in the far northeast corner of the state.
Click Here To Read More
Curious child hits button, foams airport hanger
A curious child just couldn't resist temptation and hit an emergency button that triggered a sea of fire suppression foam at a Philadelphia airport hanger. The expanse of white foam not only filled the hanger on Saturday but it spilled out onto the tarmac where the wind blew puffs of it into the air like a snow storm.
The incident at Northeast Airport occurred during Agusta Aerospace's family day outing. Authorities said an employee's child hit a button that said "Don't hit button unless in an emergency." The Philadelphia Fire Department was called out to to clean up the mess. There was no word on any damage to the helicopter inside the hanger.
Man trapped in bowling club toilet for four days
There was nobody to wonder what the matter could be when David Leggat got stuck in the lavatory at the Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club in Aberdeen - for four days. The 55-year-old bachelor was trapped in the freezing cold "gents" at his bowling club with nothing but tap water to survive on after a door jammed behind him. He spent most of the time in the dark, managed no more than three hours' sleep a night, and was so cold that that he had to put his feet in a hand basin of hot water in an attempt to stay warm.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Signs
Signs. . .
We see them everyday, in nearly every placewe go.
Here are some we wanted to share that just may lead to misunderstanding. . .
(and a laugh or two!)
In a restroom:
In a restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES...
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHESWHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY
PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In another office:
In another office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEA POT AND
STAND UPSIDEDOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING -BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONGAND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS ADAY CARE ON THE 1st FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ,
THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOWTO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
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