Where does it hurt?

Truck driver impaled on metal pole tells boss: "I'm in a spot of bother"
A critically-hurt driver sits impaled to his truck by a pole - moments after calmly telling his boss: "I'm in a spot of bother."
Jason Ripley, 39, was speared just inches from his heart when a loose barrier hidden by overgrown bushes bounced on to the bonnet and through his windscreen.
But without a hint of panic, the dad-of-two grabbed his phone, called work and explained his horrific plight to colleagues.
He revealed: "There was seven or eight feet of pole sticking out. It could have been the adrenaline but I managed to stay calm.
"I told my boss, 'I've had a bit of an accident.”
"I don't think they understood, but something must have clicked because they called me back and I told them, 'I'm not messing about, I'm dying'.
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Man Who Thought He Was a Ninja
Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.
An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.
Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.
Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Co-worker attacked over perfume
One worker's strong perfume allegedly sparked an attack from a second worker tired of the smell, officials in Motala, Sweden said.
The two Motala City Council employees, both in their 40s, had repeatedly argued over the strong scent before the unscented woman allegedly grabbed the overly scented woman by the throat and threatened to kill her during a lunch break.
A police report was filed and the alleged attacker was suspended from her job pending the outcome of an internal investigation, said council spokeswoman Christina Welin.
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Suspect returns to crime scene
Sioux Falls Police arrested a 20-year-old man on Wednesday when he returned to the scene of a crime to retrieve his cell phone. Police said they got a call Wednesday evening from a woman who saw a man inside her unlocked car. She and a neighbor shooed the man away - but she noticed later that her digital camera was gone.
The woman called police about an hour later when she saw the same man back in the parking lot of her apartment building.
Officers said they arrested the suspect with the camera. He told police he was looking for his cell phone.
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She had the balls to wear shorts

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Different angles shots of the woman falling on train tracks

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Chefs Create Dessert Made With Viagra

A group of young Colombian student chefs have unveiled a new dessert made from passion fruit and Viagra, claiming it had aphrodisiac effects on everybody who has tried it.
"We got the idea four months ago when we were dealing with a nutrition project for older people," Juan Sebastian Gomez said at an international gastronomy fair on Thursday.
"It occurred to us that we could use passion fruit, with all its connotations.. and Viagra, and we came up with this dessert," added Gomez, who along with his three colleagues is studying the culinary arts at a national college.
Gomez said the new dessert was tried on a group of volunteers.
"It's really an aphrodisiac. By trial and error we found out it works. We gave it to a group without telling them it contained Viagra. A second group was in the know and both experienced heightened libido," he said.
"They felt their bodies' need to quench that desire," he added.
The young chef said women have been the most enthusiastic about the desert.
"They eat slowly, savoring every little spoonful. They take very small portions and after few minutes begin to smile and confess that they feel delicious little tickles," he said. "We know it's an innovative idea that might seem crazy to some, but it's having success. Since it contains a medication, it requires delicate handling but we have always had medical and scientific accompaniment."
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Man Gets 'Bionic Butt'

A British man Ged Galvin, 55, whose bowel was damaged in a motorcycle crash has been fitted with a "bionic bottom."
Ged Galvin, 55, now presses a remote control to open his bowels and go to the bathroom.
Galvin was given just hours to live by doctors after he suffered massive internal injuries when a car pulled out in front of him while he was traveling 45 mph on his motorcycle in 2005.
After 13 weeks in the hospital and 13 operations Galvin defied the experts and recovered from his injuries, but the two operations to control his bowel movements failed.
He was fitted with a colostomy bag which doctors said he would have for life. But Galvin refused to accept the prognosis and sought out a specialist.
In 2007, Professor Norman Williams of the Royal London Hospital performed the unique operation in which muscle was cut from above Galvin's knee and pulled back to his groin, and then electrodes were attached to the nerves which are controlled by palm-sized remote.
"I thought that in these days of modern medicine surely there was something they could do. They'd mended everything else.” Galvin said. Why not this?
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Pee on your garden to help make it grow

Gardeners at a National Trust property in Cambridgeshire are urging people to relieve themselves outdoors to help gardens grow greener.
A 3-meters "pee bale" has been installed at Wimpole Hall.
Head gardener Philip Whaites is urging his male colleagues to pee on the straw bale to activate the composting process on the estate's compost heap.
He said the "pee bale" is only in use out of visitor hours, since "we don't want to scare the public".
He said: "For eight weeks now, male members of our garden and estate teams have been using the outdoor straw bale when nature calls.
"The pee bale is excellent matter to add to our compost heap to stimulate the composting process; and with over 400 acres of gardens and parkland to utilize compost, we need all the help we can get.
"There are obvious logistical benefits to limiting it to male members of the team, but also male pee is preferred to women's, as the male pee is apparently less acidic."
By the end of the year, it was calculated that the 10 men from the 70-strong garden and estates team will make more 1,000 individual trips to the pee bale, contributing towards the compost for the estate.
The estate said it will have saved up to 30% of its daily water use by not having to flush the loo so many times.
Rosemary Hooper, Wimpole estate's in-house master composter, said: "Most people can compost in some way in their own gardens.
"Peeing on a compost heap activates the composting process, helps to produce a ready supply of lovely organic matter to add back to the garden.
"Adding a little pee just helps get it all going; it's totally safe and a bit of fun too."
VIDEO
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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Customs officers seize rabbit poo cigs
More than £1 million worth of counterfeit cigarettes filled with rabbit droppings instead of tobacco have been confiscated by customs officials in Spain.
The fake cigarettes - due to be sold on the black market as famous brands - were discovered after British holidaymakers in the Canary Islands smelled a rat whenever they lit up.
"They stunk. They smell just as you'd imagine burning poo to smell," said one customs official in Tenerife.
Police and customs staff arrested 12 smugglers in an undercover operation to intercept the cigarettes as they landed on a boat from China.
"They not only smell bad but the toxic chemicals they give off are pure poison," explained a customs official.
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Teen breaks into a school, surfs Internet for pornography
School officials said a 14-year-old student broke into Storm Grove Middle School, damaging doors and surfing the Internet for pornography, according to a juvenile arrest affidavit.
Security cameras at the school captured images of the eighth-grade student crawling under a gate to get inside the campus last weekend, a deputy for the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office said. More cameras caught him going into the custodian’s office, where he looked at porn Web sites for an hour, the affidavit said. The student also caused $1,200 damage to an office door, the Sheriff’s Office said.
A sheriff’s deputy met with the school administration Monday and took the teen into custody. He was charged with felony criminal mischief, burglary of a structure and attempted burglary.
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Creepy Twins

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Woman Charged after Shopping with Loaded Gun

The Macclenny Walmart was cleared out yesterday because of a woman with a gun.
According to the Baker County Sheriff's Office, it happened Tuesday afternoon when 54-year-old Patricia Anthony Perry went shopping.
She told deputies she was buying ammunition for the .38 caliber handgun she was carrying, and said she had a concealed weapons permit.

According to the report of the incident, she said she took the gun out of her purse and unloaded it in the sporting goods section in front of a clerk.
The deputy indicates she smelled of alcohol, but she denied drinking.
She also changed her story a short time later and denied being in the sporting goods section. She also said she didn't know if the pistol was loaded.
The employee in the sporting goods section told a deputy the woman pulled out a gun, removed a bullet from it, and asked if the store sold that kind of bullet. When he told her no, she reloaded the gun.
The employee told the deputy the woman smelled of alcohol and had watery eyes. He also noticed a liquor bottle in her purse.
After Perry was arrested, she told deputies the gun was a gift from her son, and she was having a rough time and wanted to go into the woods and hunt, saying the .38 was to kill snakes.
She also told deputies he didn't know it was illegal to display a firearm in public.
Perry faces charges of disorderly intoxication and improperly exhibiting a firearm.

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