Man designs his beer can coffin

Bill Bramanti's favorite beer is Pabst Blue Ribbon.

He loves it. Really loves it.

So much so that he's already had his coffin specially made, and it's designed to look like a can of the trendy brew. Bramanti isn't sick, so he doesn't plan on needing it just yet.

For now he plans to use it as a cooler.
At 5-feet-9 inches tall and weighing 280 pounds, Bramanti has tried it out though.
"I actually fit, because I got in here," Bramanti, 67, of South Chicago Heights said. He threw a party Saturday for friends, featuring his coffin filled with ice and, what else, Pabst Blue
"Why put such a great novelty piece up on a shelf in storage when you could use it only the way Bill Bramanti would use it?" Bramanti's daughter, Cathy Bramanti, 42, said.
Bramanti ordered the casket from Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home in Chicago Heights and Scott Sign Co. of Chicago Heights designed the beer can.

The silver coffin is designed with red, white and blue, just like a Pabst can.

Iron Balls!

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Just Weird

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Bald eagle gets her beak

She has been named Beauty, though this eagle is anything but. Part of Beauty's beak was shot off several years ago, leaving her with a stump that is useless for hunting food. A team of volunteers is working to attach an artificial beak to the disfigured bird, in an effort to keep her alive."For Beauty it's like using only one chopstick to eat. It can't be done" said biologist Jane Fink Cantwell, who operates a raptor recovery center in this Idaho Panhandle town. "She has trouble drinking. She can't preen her feathers. That's all about to change."
Cantwell has spent the past two years assembling a team to design and build an artificial beak. They plan to attach it to Beauty next month. With the beak, the 7-year-old bald eagle could live to the age of 50, although not in the wild. The artificial beak won't be strong enough to allow Beauty to cut and tear flesh from prey. But it will help her to drink water, and to grip and eat the food she is given.

Toot Tone

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Thanks Richard

Small Bits of News

Magic trick costs teacher his job
Land 'O Lakes, Florida -- The stories in the news about inappropriate relationships between teachers and students have been overwhelming. There was even a substitute teacher in New Port Richey who got in trouble after investigators say she had a relationship with an underage student.
Well, another Pasco County substitute teacher's job is on the line, but this time it's because of a magic trick. The charge from the school district — Wizardry!
Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.
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Man arrested for punching camel at Six Flags
VALLEJO, Calif. (AP) — A man has been arrested for allegedly punching a camel on a dare at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. Vallejo police say 24-year-old Christopher Allen was dared by a friend to enter a restricted at the theme park where the camel was kept, and punch it.
He did, police say, and got arrested for his troubles.
Police say Allen was detained by park security, but soon escaped and ran from the park with his friends. Police finally caught up with Allen and arrested him and the driver of his getaway car, Chrissy Thatcher.
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Fingerprints for ID demanded from a woman without arms
Johannesburg – The department of home affairs has failed to put in place a system that will help people with disabilities to get identity documents, the SA Human Rights Commission said.
Spokesman Vincent Moaga said the commission was concerned the department had requested that a woman with no arms could not get an ID unless she was fingerprinted.
Victoria Modise, 37, of Diepkloof Zone, Soweto, who lost her ID last year, applied for a replacement but was told she needed to be fingerprinted.

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Dumbasses

Why you need to wait for trains

I live by railroad tracks and see stupid things all the time.

Two weeks ago a teenager crawled under a stop train and the train moved. He was lucky and nothing happened this time.

Trains don't stop for no one and it takes them a quarter mile to stop

You never stop on a railroad track.

If you can't cross the tracks you stop and wait for the train.

AN EIGHT-year-old girl watched in horror as her mum was hit and killed by a Cairns-bound tourist train as she raced to retrieve fishing gear.
The 45-year-old Tully woman was on a family fishing trip to Saltwater Creek bridge, near Aeroglen Rd, Aeroglen when the accident happened at 5pm on Saturday.
A police spokeswoman said the woman apparently saw the train approach but fatally tried to collect fishing gear off the tracks.
It is believed the woman told her daughter to get off the bridge while she tried to get the fishing gear.
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As a powerful locomotive raced toward his mother's minivan, a quick-thinking Long Island boy became a lifesaver and lifted a railroad crossing gate to let their trapped vehicle and another off the tracks. The gate came down on the windshield of Jackie Murphy's Dodge Caravan as she crossed the tracks in East Rockaway, trapping the van and a delivery truck behind her in the path of a speeding train. As his mother froze, 11-year-old Ryan Murphy leaped into action. "I was thinking about saving my mom," he said. "I don't even remember much of what happened."