Men's Toiletiquette 101

Men how to use a Public Restroom Without Annoying Everyone

Everyone has to use it, so why not make it as pleasant as possible for everyone involved?

All You'll Need Is Common Sense
You do know what that means don't you?

Step One
Don't use the urinal next to another man if another urinal or stall is free.

Step Two
Just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean you have license to "let one rip" as you pee. Save it for the stall.

Step Three
Don't be one of these types:

• The sigher, enjoying a piss way too much.

• The cell phone talker

• The premature flusher

• The conversation (two or more people)

• The NNF (No Need to Flush)

• The NNW (No Need to Wash), cousin to the NNF,

• The hock 'n spitter

• The toothbrusher/flosser/hygiene guy

• The whistler

• The groaner

Step Four
Make sure to put away your junk before walking away from the urinal.

No one wants to see that.

Step Five
Don't tap your feet, snap your fingers, breath irregularly or do anything that could be misconstrued as some sort of secret message to a neighboring stall.

Step Six
Regulate your stream so that you pee as long as possible, since it's a scientific fact that the length of one's pee is proportional to the length of one's pee-pee.

Step Seven
If you're in the stall, wait until the coast is clear before coming out. No one wants to associate a face with your stench. On a related note, don't leave your access badge on your waistband. When your pants drop to the floor, everyone else can see your picture.

Step Eight
If there is a "glory hole," get out. Immediately.